Page 25 of My Lucky Star
I didn’t miss the endless auditions, moldy student flats and the diet of cheap carbs. I couldn’t go back to that. At my new job, I was saving money and building a future. Well, if I stopped splurging on overpriced hoodies. Why hadn’t I used Cem’s credit card?
As my heart rate gradually slowed down, my thoughts cleared. I needed help, and the only person I could turn to was Janie. She had a wardrobe to die for, and she already knew about Cem, sort of. I picked up my phone, took a deep breath and dialed.
***
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, I turned onto Janie’s long, sweeping driveway, lined with young lemonwood trees. I finally understood why she preferred working from home. Janie lived in a sprawling country mansion in a picture-perfect setting. I passed a grove of fruit trees, a chicken coop, a duck pond and stables. Behind the main house, I glimpsed a large, productive vegetable garden. Janie was obviously self-sufficient and didn’t need to work at all.
I parked along the wide turning bay and headed to the grand entrance. She must have seen me arrive since the door swung open in front of me.
“Welcome!” Janie beamed at me, wearing a kowhaiwhai-patterned apron, her cheeks flushed and blond hair curling around her face. She retreated into the house, beckoning me to follow.
A small Boston Terrier rushed to greet me, jumping about my feet. The dog’s energy level and general enthusiasm seemed to perfectly match Janie’s. She returned to her cooking and baking and at a glance, I couldn’t tell how many things she had underway. Potatoes were boiling and a sauce simmering, while something else baked in the oven. A mixture of smells, both herby and sweet, lingered in the air.
“You seem busy,” I observed, getting even more nervous.
Janie picked up a wineglass teetering on the edge of a cutting board and took a swig. “We’re hosting a little dinner party and I love cooking. In Auckland, I might go for months without doing this. I could never take a day and plan a menu. I ordered everything. This—” she took another gulp of wine, “is heaven. Even if John will miss it, again. Always in Auckland. He misses our old life more than I do.” Sadness fell across her eyes, but she gave me a brazen smile, raising her glass. “Wine?”
I shook my head. “I... have a problem.”
Janie halted, her wineglass in mid-air. “I thought so. What is it? How can I help?”
I explained the situation, stressing that I’d had no choice but to agree to this charade. My face grew warmer as I talked, and I’m fairly sure I used the word ‘charade’ more than once. Janie listened in silence, occasionally checking her pots and pans, sipping her wine. When I moved onto the subject of clothing, she removed a tray of biscuits from the oven.
Janie blew out a breath. “So, you need a few outfits that make you look like this Turkish actress? Can I see some photos of her?”
She didn’t sound shocked or disapproving. I tried to move past my own shock at her lack of shock and pulled out my phone. After a bit of searching, I found Burcu under Cem’s account (I was now one of his over five million followers) and showed Janie the beach photo with Burcu in the yellow dress. Her eyes nearly popped out. “She’s the spitting image of you!”
“I told you we look alike.”
“Sure, but people say that all the time. It doesn’t usually mean much. But this...” Janie took my phone and paced her kitchen floor. “I can see why they’ve approached you. This is fantastic! They get some lovely PR and we get the hotel. Well played, Aria! You realize this is an acting gig, right?” She turned to face me, a twinkle in her eye.
I swallowed. “I suppose.”
“You have an acting background. This is right up your alley.”
“No, not really. I never did anything... big. Not like you. It was a hobby.” I tried to look non-committal, but Janie didn’t buy it.
“No, I watched your showreel. I searched you... You have a real passion for it, don’t you?”
Suddenly, I felt hot all over. “I used to, but I had to move on. If you can’t make something a career in seven years, it’s time...” I trailed off, staring at the tray of biscuits.
I stared at them for so long Janie eventually handed me one. Her voice was low and warm, like on TV. “Being successful is a... by-product. It may happen if you have passion and skills and the right look, and the right timing and the right role. Everything has to fall into place. There are lots of people with passion and craft and commitment who never get that lucky. It doesn’t mean they’re not good at what they do.”
Her words warmed my heart, but they didn’t change my fate. “Well, I guess I’m unlucky, then.” I bit into the biscuit. It tasted of almonds.
“But that’s no reason to deny your passion or downplay your skills. You’re a brilliant actress.”
My heart pounded in my throat now, making it hard to swallow. I would have to keep the cookie in my mouth. Which was better anyway, since I had nothing intelligent to say. When applying for my current job, I’d presented myself as someone who only desired to work behind the scenes. She hadn’t challenged me back then, and since she’d hired me, I assumed it was the right thing to say.
I finally swallowed and found my voice. “You... you’re not bothered by that? I mean, if I miss acting?” My voice wobbled on the last word.
Janie laughed. “Of course not! Most jobs in the film industry are held by people who’d rather act, write or direct. Many of them wouldn’t have the chops for it, but it’s human to dream big, and we all need jobs to sustain us while we dream.”
I wondered if I was the one who didn’t have the chops. “But... if it’s not happening, shouldn’t you move on?”
Janie shrugged. “Some people can, and they do. That’s great. Only you know if you’re one of those people.”
She offered me another biscuit and I took it, feeling elated. “Thank you. I do miss it. I thought I could leave it all behind and be sensible, but it’s been harder than I thought. I can’t stop thinking, what if I gave up right before my big break? I know it’s bullshit, but—”
