Page 38 of My Lucky Star
“What’s too risky?”
Cem grimaced. “If you told me to stop, maybe I could. But you...” He ran his fingers through his hair, staring at me in desperation.
Irritation rose like a hot wave. “Why is it my job to stop you?”
He looked at me helplessly, ashamed. “Well, women usually have more restraint.”
“Oh, do we now? So, men can’t help themselves and are therefore excused?”
“Not excused, but—”
“You’re a grown man. Take some responsibility!” I lowered my voice for effect, relieved to feel the rise of hot temper and the confidence it gave me. “If you don’t want to kiss me, don’t kiss me! I kissed you back becauseI wanted to. Not because I expect anything else from you or expect us to ever do that again. I wanted to kiss you, so I did.”
I could tell from the look on his face that no one had ever spoken to him like this. We stood for a moment, inert, staring at each other. This time, it was more like a silent battle. A battle of wills.
Finally, Cem burst into laughter. “You’re quite the woman Aria...”
I realized he was looking for my last name. “Dunne,” I supplied.
“Aria Dunne,” he repeated, tasting my boring name on his foreign tongue. “What’s your middle name?”
I frowned. “What do you need that for?”
Cem’s smile had a cheeky edge. “I’m curious about you.”
I huffed in disbelief. He’d been happy to explore my mouth and body without knowing my last name. Why did he suddenly need to know more about me? I was a nobody.
“Grace,” I finally said. “My middle name is Grace.”
“Grace,” he repeated, like it was the most interesting word to ever pass his lips. “Do you want to know mine?”
I pursed my lips, still emboldened by indignation. “I can google it. Tell me something truly personal. Something the internet doesn’t know.”
I kept my gaze on him, not giving in an inch. His mouth curved in appreciation. “You drive a hard bargain, Aria Grace.” He gazed at the vineyard. “Well, the internet doesn’t know I’m up for a big budget action-adventure series that has international distribution. At least not all the details, because they’re confidential.”
My mouth twisted. “No, but Emir told me that. American dollars, inflation, blah blah. I said, tell me something deeply personal.”
A shadow crept into his eyes. “Okay.” He drew a breath. “I don’t know if I really want it.”
“What? The role?”
“Don’t tell Emir, but I feel dread when I think about it. It’s a good role. A lot of money. But it’s so... fake. A fairy tale that paints me as this perfect hero. It’s for a younger audience and I’m not sure I’m up to being a role model. Kids are impressionable. It’s a lot of responsibility. What if I mess up again? It’ll be so much worse.”
“So, you’re scared you won’t be a good role model and the studio is scared you might not be a good role model?” I gave him a rueful smile. “A match made in heaven, then?”
Cem laughed, some of the tension melting away. “Yeah, absolutely.”
Watching those emotions flicker across his face – doubt, worry, conflict and amusement – something warm blossomed in my chest. I felt like I was seeing beyond the surface. I craved more.
“You said ‘what if I mess up again’. What happened before? Why did you have to come here?”
“You really don’t know? That one is all over the internet.”
“And I’ll be googling it the first chance I get, but I’d rather hear your version first.”
Cem hung his head, his foot idly moving around a stick that lay between exposed roots. “My version is probably the least accurate. I was drunk. I don’t remember much. I only remember that... sensation. That rush you get when you make a disastrous decision. It’s like seeing an imminent train wreck. You know you can’t stop it, but the moment before it happens, there’s this... weightless feeling. This thrill. Because you actually did it. You set it in motion.” He winced at his own words, a sudden flash of panic in his eyes as he lifted them to me. “You think I’m unhinged?”
I smiled, despite myself. “Well, unless you’re talking about causing a train wreck, or pushing someone off a cliff...”
