Page 63 of My Lucky Star
I pulled Aria closer to me, possibly for the fifteenth time. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
I couldn’t stop touching her, while she seemed to alternate between fight, flight and delight, like a set of constantly changing traffic lights.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?” I asked, tightening my arms around her. “Say the word and I’ll let you go, I promise.”
She shook her head and a strand of hair caught between her lips. “No. I appreciate you keeping me warm,” she whispered, her voice a little strained.
I leaned over her shoulder to get a glimpse of her face, but she turned just enough to hide from my eyes. Something about that evoked a memory of Burcu, evading my eyes as I coaxed out the story of what had happened. My stomach flipped.
“I’ve seen guys acting... entitled,” I said. “I promised myself I’d never become like that. You know, walking around thinking I’m such a big deal, entitled to everything and everyone, but it’s hard.” I loosened my grip, holding my breath, trying not to laugh at my accidental pun, because I was hard. I was always hard around her.
“I told you I wanted to be friends and you kissed me on the stairs,” she reminded me. I heard the smile in her voice.
“Yeah, okay, but what about my herculean effort not to touch your ass? Does that not count for anything?”
“That’s a low bar.” Her eye roll was so potent I felt it in my stomach.
“I’m sorry, but as long as I have a little hope, I can’t let go.” I paused, gathering my willpower as I leaned back to create some distance between us. “If you need me to step back, tell me. I don’t want to be an entitled asshole. I never want to make you feel unsafe. Even if I am entitled. And an asshole.”
Aria turned around to face me, pink blotches on her cheeks, her eyes shining. She took my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine. “Don’t worry. I feel safe with you. I just don’t trust myself.”
Her flustered words poured like warm liquid down my spine, giving me courage. “Aria. I like you a lot. I haven’t felt like this about anyone in a long time. Tell me again, why do we have to be friends? Why can’t we just... hop on this train and see where it goes?” I winced at my stupid metaphor.
She blinked, gathering shiny drops on her lashes. “Because my heart can’t handle the ride.”
Chapter 22
Aria
These uneven, shiny nuggets are all that is left of him. All that ever mattered to him. This is his legacy. My heart is broken, and these are the pieces left behind. Was it all worth it?
MY FINGERS SHAKING, I fastened my phone to the hands-free stand, pushed ‘record’ and stepped back to the mark I’d taped on the floor. The rumble of clothes dryers on the first floor sent a vibration through my body, perfectly humming with the nerves that zinged to life.
I’d read the script several times, sinking deeper and deeper into character, until I felt ready to film myself.
I’d emailed Lindsay the previous night after I’d dropped Cem off at the Airbnb, and to my surprise, received the script within half an hour. After a fitful sleep and a stir-crazy half-day at the office, Janie had sent me home to prep for the audition. Which is what I was now doing. Prepping. And thinking of Cem. But mostly prepping.
