Page 40 of Hidden Gem
Marnie stretched out her hands, which were free from pain. She’d fretted about telling her children the diagnosis, but they’d both seemed quite matter of fact, urging her to do something about it. It felt like everyone else believed her chronic illness was treatable, that she’d get over it.
“I don’t know,” she answered. How much could she tell from momentary absence of pain?
Tanya turned to assess her. “The fasting is working. You look almost skinny.”
“Thanks.”
“Maybe this arthritis will make you skinny for life. You can start wearing crop tops.” She laughed, as if her mother baring her midriff was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
“I need a shower,” Marnie announced, stuffing the last piece of toast in her mouth. “After that, I’ll go get the car. If you need a ride anywhere, it’ll be in the afternoon.”
“Afternoon?” Tanya’s face contorted as she fiddled with the edge of her crop top, a style she wore most days. Even leaning forward on the seat, a sliver of her white flesh glowed in the morning light. Did her tops get shorter every year, or was Marnie imagining things?
“Yes, afternoon. I’m not your personal chauffeur. I do have a life.” She winked at her daughter, gathered herself from the couch and headed to the bathroom.
The look she’d caught on Tanya’s face was her reward. Instead of the usual eye-roll, she’d seen suspicion. Shock. Was it such an unfathomable idea that she could have a life outside motherhood? She’d thought she had a full life, between the community house and writing her stories, but she knew Tanya didn’t recognise it as such. Teenagers measured with a different stick.
Marnie peeled off her clothes, enjoying the cool air drifting through the cracked bathroom window. She loved her bathroom, a modern oasis she’d customised from the prefab building’s blank slate. Harmonious shades of warm grey mixed with white marble, punctuated with golden accents of the flowerpots she’d hung from the ceiling. It wasn’t bohemian or colourful like Shasa’s space. Her friend was attracted to unusual colour combinations that worked, but only on her, around her. Marnie could never pull off pale purple and mustard with terracotta. She’d always been conservative, soft, predictable.
Except now. She was having an affair with a celebrity, someone who had reporters circling their house. It felt like a dream. Or a nightmare, depending on the moment. Either way, she wasn’t as boring as Tanya thought.
Marnie stepped in the shower, letting the gushing water flush off the evidence of her night-time adventure.
Would she see him again? Could she risk it? What if the media came after her? She couldn’t handle it like he did. They’d call her out on not being right for him. And she’d crumble. Because it was true.
She’d seen the devotion in his eyes. If she let him, he’d stay with her and risk his career, give up his chance to have a family. He’d waste his time on the wrong woman.
Marnie ran her fingers across her belly, letting the water spill between her legs. The taut skin with faint stretch marks could have belonged to someone younger, someone fertile. But underneath, the timer had buzzed a long time ago. When she and Steve had tried for a third baby, her doctor had told her that she had low ovarian reserve. She’d been running out of eggs in her early thirties. In retrospect, she was relieved it hadn’t worked out, seeing how their marriage had ended.
She’d been so focused on the dream of that baby, she’d missed the signs of the impending end; namely Steve upgrading every piece of gear in the house. Marnie had been the last one left, the arm candy that no longer evoked jealous glances, if she ever had. Maybe she could have dressed better or done something to her hair, but she’d resented the people he hung out with, the way they focused on appearances. Almost as an act of rebellion, she’d stepped out of the game and built her identity on who she was rather than what she looked like. A good friend. A good mother. And that had been years ago. Now, at 39, she knew she couldn’t be the woman Jason needed by his side.
Could she just enjoy him, have fun and walk away, unharmed? If she let this go on, what would happen to her after the inevitable end? Would she be forgotten and left to live her life with those memories? Or would she be forever changed by the experience, defined by the public fling with a younger man everyone knew by name? Both options filled her with dread.
Chapter 19
Jason approached thebuilding site trying to control his breathing, his smile unwavering. So far, nobody had mentioned the news story about him, although he’d caught a couple of sideways looks and whispers.
