Page 73 of Hidden Gem
“I’d much rather hear it from you, if you’re ready to share?”
Marnie dug her heels in the plush carpet and a zing of pain travelled upwards, the perfect reminder of how it all started. The words tumbled out, first heavy and sticky in her throat, describing the diagnosis and the inevitable end of her good years, then followed by the bittersweet moments of her whirlwind affair. Elsie and Shasa listened quietly, captivated by her tale. She caught herself explaining all about Jason’s career goals but left out the fake law degree.
After a long silence, Elsie spoke. “What a story. I had no idea. I knew you were seeing someone, and from the way Sue talked, it sounded like he was a public figure. But I didn’t know you’d fallen in love.”
Marnie shook her head. “It’s so complicated. Even if I love him, I have to stay away. I don’t know what to do!”
Elsie smiled. “I can understand why you’d feel overwhelmed. It sounds like such a whirlwind romance. A Cinderella story, really.”
“You’re right!” Shasa echoed, her eyes bulging with excitement. “Marnie’s Cinderella!”
“Elderly Cinderella,” Marnie corrected.
Shasa held up her hand. “Oh, stop it! Can we move onto the pregnancy test? Elsie has a lovely bathroom, and we’re here for you.” She gestured at the bathroom, giving her an encouraging smile.
Elsie’s brows arched in amazement. “You brought a pregnancy test?”
Marnie pulled the packet out of her handbag.
Elsie studied it like a piece of rock from Mars. “Is this what they look like these days?” She put on her rose gold reading glasses to have a closer look. “You can test on the day of your period? I remember when you had to wait about a month, but I guess the modern woman can’t handle such uncertainty.”
Marnie smiled. “I’ve barely survived the last twenty-four hours. And it still might be too early. I should wait until morning. It works better with morning wee I think.”
Shasa sank back into her chair. “Fine. Do it in the morning. But, in the meantime, we should work on the way you talk about yourself. Because if you believe you’re too old or wrong for him, the relationship will never work out.”
Marnie sighed. “That’s what I’m saying. It won’t work out!”
“Why not?” Elsie asked, sliding her glasses down her nose like an esteemed therapist.
Marnie twisted her mouth, tears stinging in her eyes. “If Kathleen finds out about us, she’ll publish this horrible picture of me, she’ll tell the press everything about me... how I have arthritis... Maybe I could take the embarrassment, but it’ll hurt his career. I can’t do that to him.”
“But what if you’re pregnant?” Shasa asked.
Marnie hung her head. “I don’t know. Even if I am, who knows if it works out? Isn’t it risky at my age? Can people with arthritis even have babies?”
Elsie pinned her down with a sharp look, a deep frown between her eyes. “Of course they can. People with cancer have babies. It’s all about managing your health, learning about your condition and how to live a good life with it. There’s not always a cure, but you can usually do something about it. Do you think I’m in perfect health? I’m in my sixties. I have pernicious anaemia and chronically low iron. My thyroid has been removed. I’m on thyroid hormones, I get B12 shots, I take supplements and sometimes an iron infusion. Without modern medicine, I’d be long dead.”
Marnie stared at her in awe. She’d always thought of Elsie as someone invincible, a woman who’d somehow sidestepped all the pitfalls and kept her health and youthful appearance into her sixties. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
Elsie’s gaze was challenging. “Why? I’m not. I’m grateful for every pill and treatment that keeps me alive. It’s a bloody miracle.”
A glimmer of hope ignited in Marnie’s heart as Elsie’s confronting words floated in the air between them. Could she be that secure in herself one day? Could she see the world like Elsie did? She’d worked so hard to get in shape. She’d found clothes that were more flattering. Yet, she felt worse about herself than before, when she’d just been walking around in her saggy tunics, completely clueless. It was so much easier to not to put yourself out there at all. As soon as she stepped into the spotlight, every flaw became highlighted.
“Even if I could somehow convince myself that I’m good enough for him, I don’t know if I could handle the media, all those ugly comments.”
Shasa’s voice took on a sharp edge. “I told you, stop reading the comments! That’s where brains go to die.”
“I have to agree with that,” Elsie confirmed, less dramatically. “Do you think members of the public would come at you in the street to voice their jealousy or disapproval? Most people shout their opinions anonymously online, but that’s where it ends. They can’t steal your happiness, unless you let them.”
Marnie sank into the chair, pulling her knees to her chest. Squeezing herself into a tight ball made her breasts ache, but she wanted to disappear. They were right. She’d gone down a rabbit hole and focused on stupid things. Why did she care about the opinions of random keyboard warriors, or even Kathleen Rush? If Jason wanted her, and she wanted him, why was she letting anything stand in the way?
Just when she began to feel better, a little more hopeful, her mind served up the words she’d written in the letter and sent to him. “I think it’s too late. I broke up with him. He hasn’t called or texted since Tuesday.”
“Oh, Marnie.” Shasa sighed, her tone softer now. She hopped on the arm of her chair and pulled her into a side hug. “Of course he hasn’t. Rejection is hard to take. But if you make it clear you want to try, he might feel differently.”
Marnie could only nod, hiccupping through the tears. Maybe she’d find the courage if she just hung out with her friends and absorbed their attitudes. She needed to shift her thoughts. A powerful yawn shook her body. She hadn’t slept enough, and it was catching up with her. How did Jason survive on so little sleep?
“Do you want to sleep in the guest room?” Elsie asked. “I’ll be here in the morning when you’re ready to do the test.”
