Page 79 of Hidden Gem
“Are you okay in there?” Shasa had arrived right after breakfast, ready to support her. They were supposed to do this together.
Marnie set the pregnancy test on the windowsill, hoping for the faint line to either disappear or become stronger. She appreciated her friends, but she needed a moment. This level of anticipation couldn’t be healthy. Her stomach was in knots, unable to digest the piece of toast she’d managed at the breakfast table.
Marnie washed her hands and checked the test again. It looked the same. Straightening her back, she took the test and returned to Elsie’s dining room. Shasa sat at the table, nibbling on the fresh fruit Elsie had cut up on a plate. The sight of persimmon and mandarin slices made her ravenous and she joined Shasa at the table.
Shasa pried the pregnancy test from her other hand and looked at it. She frowned. “Damn.”
“What?” Marnie asked.
“What does it say?” Elsie hurried to look over their shoulders. She placed a cup of barista coffee on the table in front of Marnie. “Here you go. It’s not decaf, though. Can you drink coffee when pregnant?”
“Of course,” Shasa smiled. “But Marnie’s not. Unless it’s too early.”
“I’m not?” Marnie repeated, wrapping her shaky hands around the coffee cup.
“There’s just one line, right?” As Shasa said it, she held up the stick, tilting it in the light just like Marnie had done. “Wait...”
“Let me see!” Elsie took the stick from her and marched to the double doors giving to her balcony. “I can see another line,” she announced, bathing the stick in morning light, “but it’s quite weak. What does that mean?”
Shasa jumped on her feet and grabbed the test from Elsie. “A faint line is still a line. Doesn’t matter how faint, if there’s some colour. Mine was faint with Lilla at first.” She held the test up again, squinting her eyes. “Not this faint, but Elsie’s right. There is a line.”
A giggle built up in Marnie’s chest at seeing her friends study the stick she’d just peed on. Her whole body shook from the uncontrollable laughter.
The others gave her an odd look, then exchanged a worried glance.
“I don’t know why,” Marnie said, wiping her eyes. She wasn’t sure when the laughter turned into tears, but suddenly she found herself sobbing, holding a tissue Elsie had placed in her hands. “I just never had this level of support before. When I was young and knocked up, I was all alone. My parents were a bit disappointed – they wanted me to study. And Steve... I was just grateful he stepped up and said we could get married. Like that magically solved everything. And that was it. It was all decided. The kids, the house in Glenview, night school...”
“You did so well, though.” Shasa sat down next to her. “You got your degree and everything.”
“Yeah. Except I don’t use it for anything. I don’t have a career. I just dabble at things.”
“You write books,” Shasa reminded her.
“I read the one with the orange cover... the one set on a cruise ship,” Elsie chimed in. “It was exciting!”
Marnie smiled through her tears. She had so few readers that Elsie’s support felt like a warm hug. “Thank you.”
If she really was pregnant, it would be different this time. She’d have her friends, she’d have her own house. She could organise her life the way she wanted, not around what her parents and Steve’s found acceptable. It would work out, somehow. Looking around Elsie’s kitchen with its assortment of handmade ceramics and smooth timber, Marnie felt a sense of calm and resolve. As she breathed in and out to settle her wobbly stomach, she felt the slightest hint of something else in her chest. Almost like excitement.
She made her way to the balcony, admiring the pale-yellow morning sky stretching over the lake. The world bathed in sunlight. What a blessing she had right here. Marnie leaned on the railing, amazed at the sudden wave of euphoria. It must have been the hormones, but she didn’t want to question it. Down at the water’s edge, sunlight bounced off the pitched roofs. Somewhere down there was Jason’s cottage. Was he there? Could she just stroll down the hill and knock on his door? Could she confess her mistakes and...? Marnie’s stomach lurched, sending a shivery sensation down her limbs. What had terrified her, suddenly felt possible.
She stepped back through the glass doors and found her friends still at the table, their eyes trained on her.
“Are you okay?” Elsie asked.
Marnie nearly walked into the table. “I have to see him.”
Shasa threw up her hands. “Thank God. I thought you’d never get there!”
“Do you know where he is?” Elsie asked.
“No.” Marnie took the phone off the table. “But his house is just down there. I’ll go have a look.”
Elsie glanced at Shasa. “Do you want us to come with you?”
She shook her head, slipped her feet into a pair of sneakers and walked out the door. She loved them both, but she needed some time alone. No. Not alone. She wasn’t just one person anymore. Getting pregnant was a terrible mistake, until it happened. At that moment, the world turned on its axis. Suddenly, there was no mistake. There was a miracle.
Letting the heavy door close behind her, Marnie hopped down the tiled path to the iron gate. Its swirly shapes made her happy. Her body had surprised her. An egg had released from where there shouldn’t have been any, made its way down her shrivelled tube and hung around waiting for a seed. The pure magic of it made her see colours that weren’t there, like light splitting through a diamond. No, wait. A teardrop. It broke free and rolled down her cheek. She had to find Jason. She had to tell him.
