Page 81 of Hidden Gem
“It’s great, isn’t it? No tossing and turning.”
No, he hadn’t tossed or turned. Tossing and turning was a sign of life, one he’d moved past in his transition towards death. He could only hope it was a painless one. “What’s in those pills? Do you have more of them?”
“Lots. Don’t worry. But you can’t up the dose. You’d go into a coma.”
Jason sighed. Right now, a coma didn’t sound so bad. Wasn’t it just a long sleep? From the corner of his eye, he noticed Luna on her phone, typing something. A bad feeling built up in his gut, intensifying the hammering in his head. “You’re not posting about... us, are you?”
She tinkled the melodic movie star laugh he remembered from the night before, which brought up another memory. The reporter. He’d taken their photo. It must have been blasted all over the internet by now.
Lying on her stomach, Luna winked at him over her shoulder. “Don’t worry! I’d never take a drooling picture of you when you sleep or anything like that! But I have to keep my fans happy. They’re dying to find out how our date went.”
Jason tensed, turning to look at her. “Date? What did you tell them?”
“I gave it a good spin, don’t worry. I’d never make you look bad. I’d never embarrass you.” She arched her brow, giving her a meaningful look. “I control the narrative. I know how to woo the public and play the media. I think our relationship can be beneficial to both of us.”
Oh, God. The pressure in his head forced him to take deep breaths. Would he feel like this all day?
“Are you okay? Those pills take a little while to wear off. Just drink some water and take it easy. And we should get some breakfast. Coffee!” She bounced off the bed, clapping her hands. Her purple camisole struggled to keep up with her movements and one nipple escaped the lace, staring him in the eye.
“Oops!” Luna laughed, making no attempt to cover it. She bent over to pick up something off the floor, exposing a lacy thong.
Jason’s stir of arousal was so weak he barely felt it. Had he lost his ability to... He really was as good as dead. That horse tranquilliser must have beaten his manhood out of him. Not that he wanted to sleep with Luna. She made him uneasy, like the reporters he had to be careful around. Speaking of which... Jason rolled over and found his phone on the nightstand, still alive, the battery blinking red.
As Luna retreated to the bathroom, he searched for her Instagram account. At first glance, he couldn’t see himself in her feed. The last two pictures were pouty selfies. In one, she held a shot glass to her lips and the other... Jason froze, recognising the view in the background – his apartment.
Jason’s crib. A great view of the Beehive, don’t you think?
Jason swiped right to discover more pictures, taken through his window, the Beehive barely visible in the darkness. There was no view to speak of, no reason to share this photo except to advertise her presence in his apartment. That was it. The story was out there. Malcolm had gotten his wish.
What would Marnie think if she saw it? The thought made him shudder.
As Jason listened to the tap running in the bathroom, he realized he couldn’t go on like this. Something had to give. Could he just quit, clear out of here and go home? He didn’t have to become like Luna, a calculating climber who used other people as stepping-stones. Ever since he’d voiced the idea of quitting to Marnie, it had grown stronger, burning in his mind like a glowing exit sign.
Could he go back to his old life and become unimportant again? He’d still be a sad, vulnerable wreck, but he’d be free to battle those thoughts without the glossy veneer of public life. He’d no longer carry the deception, that gnawing fear that drove him to google his own name and watch over his shoulder. He wanted to be truly open and honest and known for real, not just to use and be used. He’d shown Marnie his embarrassing, unglamorous self, shared his shameful secret, and she hadn’t rejected him for that. Instead, she’d let him closer. Closer than he’d ever been to another person. But she’d rejected the world he lived in, and he couldn’t blame her.
He threw his arm over the side of the bed and dropped his phone on the floor, sinking lower into the sheets. Looking at the headlines would do him no good. He stared at the tidy, grey carpet. Since he’d left the room last night, the cleaners had popped in, restoring the room’s hotel vibe. The tracks of their industrial vacuum cleaner came within inches of the narrow gap under the bed. As Jason hung his head over the edge, he noticed something yellow, peeking out from underneath. He wiggled his fingers into the gap to pick it up.
His breath hitched. It was the sticky note filled with Marnie’s small, curly handwriting.
Here’s my number, just in case you ever want to see me again. Thank you for everything, Beatrice (not my real name, sorry!)
Next to her phone number, she’d drawn a heart.
Jason’s eyes pooled with tears. She’d thanked him, after a night like that.
He read the note again and almost saw the sincere hope in Marnie’s eyes as she wrote those words. How had he lost the best thing in his life? His mind circled back to the Beehive, the monster that was slowly sucking the life out of him. He had to get out of here.
Jason pushed himself up and out of bed. He pulled on chinos and a hoodie and found his loafers scattered near the door. Pocketing Marnie’s note and his phone, he called through the bathroom door, “I’ll get us coffees from downstairs. Be back soon!”
He grabbed his shoulder bag by the door, which had his wallet, laptop and most valuable papers he didn’t want Luna to get her hands on. Besides that, he didn’t care if she stayed and burned the place.
The bathroom lock clicked. “Wait! I’ll join—”
But Jason was faster, out the door and inside the lift before Luna could follow. She probably wasn’t dressed to go outside. Watching the sliding door close in front of him, Jason steadied himself on the handrail and hit the button for ground level. Going down, his heart finally picked up speed, pushing through a layer of cold sweat. He breathed slowly, his head throbbing, as he descended to the lobby.
Help. He needed help. Luna was not it. She’d be his doom. Could he just blow her off and disappear? The feeling grew with every step as he wandered out of the building towards the cafe.
Walking around near the Beehive probably wasn’t a great idea. He could easily be recognised. His puffy eyes and unfocused gaze would raise questions. Where was the sharp, charming guy dubbed the fresh hope of politics? He wasn’t their messiah. He was a failure.
