Page 72 of My Turkish Fling
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure. I think he feels neglected, with the baby coming. And the new school is a bit prestigious.”
“You mean elitist?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“Sounds like he needs you.”
It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement. A statement that sealed our fate. I swallowed and nodded.
“Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You okay to sleep alone in there?” He half-whispered, nodding towards the other end of the house.
I didn’t feel great about it, but I had to stop leaning on Emir. The guest room was right across the hallway from Josh’s bedroom. He may have known we were an item, but I couldn’t risk him hearing us. “I’ll be fine.”
“If you feel unsafe… if you need anything, text me.” He gestured at his phone on the nightstand.
“Thank you.”
I glanced over my shoulder. Josh was still in the bathroom. I heard the shower running and tiptoed to Emir. He opened his arms, and I snuck in. One last hug, I told myself. Those strong arms snapped around me and he kissed my forehead. “I’ll follow your lead, Janie. Whatever you need.”
A giant lump rose into my throat, and I sniffed into his shirt. “I told him we’re… together. I don’t want to hide. The little time we have left—”
“Time is a creation. We don’t have to accept it.”
“Really? How do I reject it? Because I’m sick of the minutes and hours and days marching forward.”
He stroked my hair, his warm breath landing on the top of my head. “First of all, we can agree to not measure the experience of us, together, using units of time.”
“So, we haven’t had a two-week relationship?” I said to humor him.
We had a few minutes, whether we measured them or not. Josh would step out of the shower, and I’d be forced to move away.
“No. We’ve had an intensive education on each other. A thousand moments.”
“A thousand?”
“I used to waste time. I think I lost a year at some point, just working. Like I wasn’t even there. But I’m here now, with you, and everything counts. Time isn’t linear. It stretches and contracts and bends.”
I couldn’t stop the glow that spread across my chest, like I’d been plugged in. “I’m starting to think you’ve been fooling me and you’re actually very good with words.”
“I’m honest. Sometimes, that works out.”
My eyes burst full of tears. “I want this to work out, so badly. But—”
“Let me love you… just let me, Janie. I know life is complicated. I know you’re scared. But we can figure it out. If you feel anything for me, anything at all—”
My heart leapt from my chest, and words out of my mouth. “I love you more than I know what to do with, you fucking idiot!”As my brain processed the runaway truth, I recoiled, stumbling backwards. I couldn’t take it back.
“Janie.” His eyes were the warmest I’d ever seen, voice gentle.
I heard the bathroom door. My arms flailed about, gesturing at the exit I had to take.
“It’s okay. Go.”
Clamping my mouth shut and all but swallowing both lips so that nothing else escaped, I ran off, all the way to my own bedroom. I closed the door and leaned against it, heaving deep breaths. I was developing feelings that were harder and harder to dismiss, or even contain. They were spilling over, and what was worse, they were spilling all over him. Emir. The man who didn’t do casual. The man who’d already decided to marry me, or something equally dramatic and ridiculous and impractical.
