Page 76 of My Turkish Fling
“If the timing’s not good, I can stay a bit longer. If you need me to train someone new, or—”
“It’s fine. We’ll figure it out. You need to go with him. Be with him.” I waved a hand, but despite my best efforts, a lump swelled in my throat. I was losing my best friend.
Shit. Shewasmy best friend. I’d left everyone behind when moving here. I had no friends of my own age. Nobody else I even truly liked. I’d been too preoccupied with my marriage to find new friends of my own or even stay in touch with the old ones. And then I’d lost all the couple friends. Everyone but Tabitha and Maree. But Aria had been there, sharing the office with me, sharing her tumultuous love story, seeking advice, and listeningto my occasional life updates. She knew a lot about me, even if I tried to keep it light and not cry at work.
And if she was my best friend, why wasn’t I being honest with her? Was I so hung up on being this admired, relentlessly positive and resourceful woman that I couldn’t show my ugly, wobbly side to anyone? Except Emir, I thought with a start. I’d revealed my internal mess to Emir, and the world hadn’t ended. Instead, I’d found a connection. I’d found someone I desperately wanted to hang onto.
“I’m in love with Emir.” The words slipped out, almost without warning, followed by a stunned silence.
Gradually, a deranged, bubbly laugh rose from my belly, shaking my chest. “I’m not joking, it just sounds crazy. I’ve known him for a couple of weeks.”
Aria’s forehead wrinkled. “Why is that crazy? Is falling in love somehow time-based?”
I shook my head, staring at the fast-moving clouds outside the window. “That’s what he said. That we shouldn’t measure it in time… And I think he’s right in a way. Time is not linear. Years pass in a blink of an eye, and maybe nothing changes, but then there’re moments that change everything. It’s like they ripple the fabric of time and nothing’s ever going to be the same.”
Now I was basically quoting him.
“You’re serious,” she stated, staring at me wide-eyed. “I thought something was going on, but… holy shit!” Aria grinned, still staring at me. “This is amazing!”
“Amazing? No. This is a disaster! It’s impossible.”
Her smile wavered. “What do you mean?”
“My life, my kids, my farm… everything’s here. He must go back to Istanbul to sort out his father’s business. He’s not loaded like Cem, and neither am I. Our lives are not compatible.”
“Why not?”
I hung my head. “Josh just moved back home. I need to deal with that first. I need to put my child first.”
Aria let out a deep sigh. “Of course, you do.”
I tried to smile. “But that’s okay. Once you get to this age, especially if you go through a divorce, you realize a happily ever after is not a once and for all. Life is a series of seasons. People come along and they walk with you for a while. Maybe it’s not for that long, but it might still be important. And Emir’s so important. I know that.”
The pain on her face reflected in my chest, like she was giving me a permission to feel it. “And… how does he feel about it?”
Heat blossomed across my face. “He… uhm… he’s very serious. Talks about marriage. Silly man.”
Aria’s eyebrow lifted quizzically. “Okay. Emir is many things but he’s not silly.”
I smiled, rubbing my warm cheeks. “No, he’s not. But the idea of marriage when I’ve only just divorced…”
“But if he wants to marry you, he must have figured out how it could work. It can’t be that impossible. Sounds like he has a plan.”
“More like wishful thinking.” The same wishful thinking I saw in her eyes and felt in my heart. How we all wanted to believe in the fairy tale ending.
Aria took another sip of her coffee, her eyes pleading. “But… you can’t give up! You fight for love, right?”
I shrugged, gently drumming my nails against the espresso cup I’d already drained. For the first time in years, I wished I’d ordered a flat white. Something softer on my taste buds, slower to drink. For me, an espresso was all about efficiency. A quick caffeine hit, no time wasted. I’d lived my whole life at maximum speed, doing as much as I could. Taking on the next challenge when I was half-way through the previous one. Even moving to the countryside hadn’t truly slowed me down. I hadn’t turned into a laid-back person who took luxuriously long breaks. If anything, I was striving harder than ever on a tight budget, to prove to everyone I didn’t need any help.
“I don’t want to give up. I don’t even want to imagine a future without him. I want to slow down so much that clocks stop moving and the future never gets here. But I bet it’ll still find me.”
She nodded solemnly, but her mouth kept twitching and eyes sparkled. “I’m sorry, I just can’t help getting excited! The thought of you and Emir… I don’t know why it feels so right! Why does it feel so right?” Her brow wrinkled. “I mean, I hated him at first. He was so adversarial. Scary. But there’s something about him. He’s like this big, scary mystery to me and I always cringe when I see Cem teasing him… Like he’s sneaking into a dragon’s lair.” Aria blushed, suddenly looking horrified. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like that. I know he’s not going to fire-breathe you to a crisp.”
I let out a wobbly laugh. “It’s okay. I know what you mean. He has that… quality.”
She cocked her head. “It’s weird, though. You’re the only woman I can think of who can rock up to a dragon and be okay.” She winced. “I’m so sorry. I have to stop using that metaphor!”
“If Emir decides to marry me, you should definitely speak at the wedding.”
