Page 83 of My Turkish Fling
“You’ve had a lot to deal with lately.” I guided her out of the greenhouse. It was too hot to think.
“I didn’t know you were coming back before the party. When did you arrive?”
“A little while ago. I left my bag by the back door and went to checked on Molly.”
Her face fell. “Oh, Molly! Yes, I haven’t cleaned the—”
“It’s done,” I said, catching her by her bathrobe as she lunged towards the staples. “All cleaned. Let’s go.”
“What? You shoveled shit in clothes like that?” She shook her head, scanning my outfit.
“Most of my clothes are like this. I didn’t exactly come to New Zealand to work on a farm.”
“And it doesn’t make sense to get a new wardrobe for a temporary job,” she finished, her mouth a straight line.
We stopped by the small orchard, under a plum tree heavy with ripening fruit. “Nothing about this is temporary. Or a job. When something changes the course of your life, it’s a forever thing. You’re my forever thing, Janie. I’ll never be the same.”
She looked at me from under wet eye lashes. “In a good way?”
“In a very good way,” I confirmed.
“I… I love that. But it doesn’t mean we can build a life together. I can’t leave, and I can’t ask you to drop everything, tear up that flight ticket and stay… can I?” She blinked and tears spilled, uncertainty and hope flickering behind the gloss of emotion. “I mean, if you could imagine that I’d share everything I have. It’s not much, but I think we could have enough. We could live off the land. Maybe we could sell that documentary and work on it together. I downloaded the footage on my laptop yesterday and started playing around with it. There’re some compelling shots, especially yours. They’re beautiful, Emir. You could build a career as a photographer…”
My stomach dropped. “Janie. I want to be with you, but I can’t be your farmhand or photographer. I’ve inherited a business. There’s so much inventory, these treasures my father’s buried in there… He’s a hoarder and not very organized. And I know there’s so much potential. I can’t walk away from it.”
I couldn’t walk away from my chance of having something to my name. Something tangible, measurable. I couldn’t come to her empty-handed. She deserved so much more.
“I understand.” She wouldn’t look me in the eye anymore.
“But it doesn’t mean we won’t see each other ever again. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up on us.”
“Emir. I can’t do long distance. I can’t do this.”
“You don’t have to. I’ll take my chances.” As much as I hated the idea of her meeting someone else, I couldn’t ask her to wait.I could only hope.
Her eyes burned with fire and hands trembled. “What do you mean? You can’t keep up a one-sided, long-distance relationship. You need to go home and move on. We both have to move on.”
“No. It’s my choice. I’ll be yours, even if you can’t be mine. I’ll turn that shop around, make it profitable and sell it. I’ll make sure my parents are okay. Cem will help. He’ll be there over this summer, maybe even longer. And then I’ll come back. I’ll set up business here and—”
“Emir. You’re talking about something that can take years. Is it even in your hands? I’ve been reading more about the economy in Turkey, and it sounds dire. Be honest with me. Be honest with yourself.”
I had to meet her gaze. Those bottomless, blue-grey eyes I couldn’t hide from. “It won’t be easy, but no one’s more committed than I am. If I set my mind to it, I’ll make it happen. In two years, I took my brother from a B-list soap actor to an international star. He had a shot at something big. He blew it, but I made it happen. When my father was still in charge, I couldn’t change the course of the antique shop. But now, it’s mine and I can turn things around. I can make something of myself, build something that’s mine. And then I’ll come back, I promise.”
Her sigh was so deep it shook her whole body. “Do what you must do, Emir. I understand. I never thought I could keep you.”
“But—”
She raised a finger onto my lips. “No. There’s nothing more we can say. You need to take that flight and when you do, it’s over. Theonly question is, what do we do with the little time we have left?”
I saw the blaze in her eyes, blue flames licking dilated pupils. I cupped her face, tracing my thumb along her jawline. She was right. We couldn’t let the sadness of our uncertain future steal away these moments. I had to store them like nuts for the winter. I would need every little memory to carry me through the next few months. I refused to think it could take years.
“Where’s Josh? Still sleeping?”
“I think he’s up. I left some breakfast out for him. But I’ll drive him to town this afternoon and he’ll stay a couple of nights at his friend’s house. He doesn’t want to be here for the party.”
I could imagine that.
“So, we have the house to ourselves tonight?” My body woke up at the thought.
