Page 28 of My Turkish Fling
Gus puffed his chest, his fingers resting on the camera he’d set up on a tripod. “We’re ready for you. I have a teleprompter if you need one.”
“That’s okay. It’s a short piece and I’ve memorized it. I’ll do it in two parts. We’ll have to get some extra footage from Esk Valley and around to use as inserts anyway.”
“I have a steady cam setup that’s perfect for those moving shots,” Gus announced. “And a small crane and a drone in case you need them.”
“No helicopter?”
“No…” He looked baffled. “But a drone is as good as—”
“Just kidding.” I smiled, enjoying the way his face twitched.
Caleb laughed and Gus gave me a half-hearted chuckle inresponse, but his hand tightened around the grip. I shouldn’t have poked back, but I couldn’t help myself.
I sat on the stool, blinking at the bright spotlight. I couldn’t remember the lights ever being this blinding in the TV studio. I braced myself for purple floaters and faced the camera. “Can we turn down the lighting just a bit?” I asked. “Maybe move the one that’s closest to me? It’s a bit distracting.”
“This is classic three-point lighting.” Gus grumbled, staring at his camera. “The picture looks great.” He beckoned Caleb to step closer. “Once the subject is in first position, you’ll want to go in manually, focus and lock it in. This way, if she moves her hand over her face to gesture or anything like that, the focus won’t suddenly shift to her hand.” He looked up. “Could you move your hand over your face? I’m just showing him something.”
I lifted my hand, resisting the urge to flip him off as I did so. Once they finished the camera focus lecture, Gus attached a wireless microphone to the collar of my top, hovering over my neckline for needlessly long, his fingers brushing over my skin several times. I held my breath, trying not to breathe in his aftershave, which had momentarily replaced oxygen around me.
Finally, he backed away and raised his hand. “Aaand… action!”
The film set lingo felt exaggerated, given the context, but I ignored his theatrics and delivered my lines to the camera, inserting as much passion for the subject as I possibly could. I spoke about the devastation of the floods and detailed the financial losses and emotional trauma that the locals would be dealing with for a long time.
I held a subtle smile until Gus called ‘cut’, then got up. “Can I watch it?”
Gus pulled out a long cable and connected the camera to a large field monitor he’d set up on a side table. “Here you go.”
Nothing could have prepared me for the sight. The extremely sharp footage highlighted every pore and fine line on my face. I looked old, haggard, and somehow menacing, even when I smiled. My voice sounded harsh. How long had it been since my last TV broadcast? What the hell had happened to my face?
I turned away from the screen, trying to curb my reaction. I couldn’t go on camera like this. What did I need? Botox? Plastic surgery? Where could I get it on short notice, with no money?
“Is there anything we could do to make me look a bit… um… better?” I asked. “There’s something wrong with this picture. It’s too sharp or something. Maybe if we tried a shallower depth of field and natural light…”
“Maybe you’ve been looking at yourself through those TikTok filters?” Gus flashed me a condescending smile. “This is the real world. You look fine, though. Nobody’s perfect.” He stared at the image on the screen, his gaze pointed so low I could have sworn he was staring at my cleavage. “You can apply some filters. I have some very advanced, AI-powered ones. I’m happy to come over and help you edit.”
He turned to Caleb, assuming the earlier lecturing voice. “This is what the camera does. All the insecurities come out and you’ll have to soothe the star, make them feel better about themselves. Let’s both tell Janie that a few wrinkles don’t make her unattractive.”
“You look amazing for your age, Ms. Andrews,” Caleb said obligingly, smiling at me.
I could tell he was genuine, but Gus’s patronizing tone had already gotten under my skin. “Okay. You can stop that. I know exactly how old I am. I don’t have a problem with aging. It’s society that has a problem.”
Caleb nodded vigorously, his blond fringe shaking. “Exactly.”
“I’ll just redo my makeup and we can go again.” I held my chin high, even if my voice quivered ever-so-slightly.
Maybe I was losing my looks. Maybe it was all over now. Living in the countryside, tending to plants and animals, I hadn’t focused on my face. The couple of mirrors I had in the house had strategically soft lighting. I’d enjoyed the break. Between working in the garden and running the film office, I didn’t have too much time for navel-gazing, the professional disease that had infected a hundred percent of my peers on TV. If that meant I now had to face the inevitable changes my face and body had undergone in the last couple of years, so be it. I’d face it. In high definition. Thousands of women would feel better about themselves when they saw me like that.
But no matter what I told myself, I couldn’t shake the desperation. Being on TV messed with your head. It made you feel like your appearance was everything. Your net worth, earning potential and job opportunities all depended on it.
I thought I could leave it behind and rid myself of those values, but it wasn’t just TV. It was the world. It was my reality, even here in Napier. I’d thrown myself at Emir, a gorgeous younger man, andhe’d turned me down. He’d seen what I’d seen on that screen. I was far too old for him.
Tears burning behind my eyes again, I removed the wireless mic and left the room, forcing myself to walk slowly when I felt like running for the hills.
Chapter 13
Emir
I shouldn’t have been spying on her. Had I not learned anything from that trip to the forest? I’d just finished fixing the fence and made it back to the house, when I saw the small, blond man in some kind of G.I. Joe outfit carrying a large LED light.
