Page 41 of Falling Slowly
Two gusts of hot breath crashed, then fire met fire. Bess had made up her mind and she kissed like she meant it, with ferocity and hunger. Her lips opened to invite my tongue and another surge of pleasure shot through me. There was only so much I could say. So much I could safely reveal. But the sheer intensity of that kiss left nothing between us. No air. No ambiguity or doubt.
Her desire took me by surprise and fueled my own. I let my hands travel underwater, feeling for her body, grazing her breasts. She arched her back, pushing against my hands,moaning into my mouth. We both pulled back to catch our breaths. “Too much?” she whispered.
“Not enough,” I said, diving back in.
She tasted salty and sweet, or maybe it was the water. Her nails dug into my shoulders and she swung her leg over my lap to straddle me, bringing my hard-on against her crotch. Oh, sweet Moses.
She kissed me again, moving back and forth over my cock, buoyed by the water. It was almost too much. What if I came in the tub? Another guttural moan rose from her throat, and I lifted my hips to get closer, grasping her tight ass. This felt better than anything I had imagined. I’d never felt a woman match my movements and energy like this. I always held myself back, staying in control. But with Bess, there was no control. No holding back. Dropping all pretense and caution, we rode the same wave, desperate to stay on this rollercoaster before it all disappeared like an optical illusion.
With superhuman strength, I stopped myself. “Can we continue this in the cabin?” I asked. Pleaded, really. It may have been my dick talking.
She panted against my lips. “I don’t know. I might sober up any minute, and this is a terrible idea.”
“The worst,” I agreed. “I mean, we work together. You don’t like me…”
“Charlie, you idiot. I like you too much. But you’re the one thing I’m not supposed to like.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not safe.” She drew back, eyes brimming with sadness.
I wanted to pull her back in, but she was slipping away, her gaze focusing with clarity. And even though I had a couple of beers in me, I couldn’t pretend not to see it. If she didn’t want mesober, she didn’t really want me drunk, either. I couldn’t be one more thing Bess regretted.
“I’d never hurt you,” I said. I meant it, even if I doubted my control over these things. I could barely control my body.
But life had already hurt her. She’d been beaten over the head with it. What if I couldn’t fix it, no matter how much I wanted to?
“I don’t think you’d mean to,” she said, sliding off my lap. “You don’t mean to hurt anyone.”
“But I do?”
“Everybody does. One day you’ll die. You won’t mean to, but it happens. And that will hurt someone. Many someones, probably.”
I sighed. How had our evening turned this morbid? “Your husband died,” I stated, quite stupidly.
“Yeah.”
“Did he… mean to?” I swallowed, not sure if I was even ready to hear the answer. But if I wanted to really connect with her, be safe for her, I had to face everything she was holding onto.
She shook her head; her gaze lifting at the sky. “No. I don’t think so. He was pulling away from us, sleeping at his brother’s apartment. Not sleeping, really. Depressed. I don’t think he wanted to die. But he was on too many medications. Doctors weren’t paying attention. He wasn’t paying attention. And I wasn’t there. I should have been there, but I was too busy looking after a toddler, looking for a job, freelancing, trying to keep our condo. We worked on a start-up business that went bust. He took it even harder than me. I was the designer and admin, you know. Not the brains. And then suddenly, I was a 30-year-old widow and a single mom. I had to sell all this random stock, set up payment plans for the debt and move into a cheaper apartment. And then I found the job at Wilde.”
“What? Right after?”
“A couple of months later. It was such a relief, even though I felt like I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t fun and never had money to do anything.”
“Not fun? Bess, you were mourning. You probably still are.”
She shrugged. “I was so grateful for the job. It was my lifeline. Still is. And you’re my boss’s son, so this is not okay. I’m risking everything.”
I wanted to scream on her behalf. Of all the useless muppets my father employed, this was the woman he wanted to fire. The hardest-working, smartest and insanely beautiful creature with the saddest life story. Not that my father knew her story. She was just a number to him. He didn’t believe in getting to know your staff. He didn’t believe in sensitivity of any kind. Not like me.
Too soft for business.Softie. That was one of Dad’s many nicknames for me.
I wanted to be honest with Bess. My insides ached for the words I needed to say, but I didn’t want to hurt her. My drunken and horny brain ran around in circles, looking for a way to justify my actions. A way to fix things. Even if we lost this client, maybe there was a way for Bess to keep her job. Then I’d never have to tell her.
I also wanted to extend this moment. Relive the best kiss of my life.
I groaned. “Can I not be the boss’s son for one night? I’m not carrying any business cards right now. Maybe we can pretend I’m someone else. Someone you met at this remote spa…” I gestured at the surroundings. “We’re not at the office.”
