Page 51 of Falling Slowly
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”
“What’s happening?” Her voice was muffled.
“Not me motorboating you all night, that’s for sure.” I was out from under the blanket now, sitting on the edge of the bed like a night nurse. “Because I respect boundaries. Consent’s my middle name. No, actually it’s Vincent. But I?—”
“What?” Her head popped up from behind the crumpled blanket, eyes blurry from sleep, hair sticking out on the side.
“I definitely didn’t sleep next to you, drooling and groping your ass all night. I’m pretty sure that never happened. Just like a few other things that never happened last night.” I flashed her a grin that hopefully conveyed sincerity, as well as the sort of boyish charm that usually got me out of trouble.
She blinked twice and her mouth tugged a little. “I mean, what’s that racket?” I could barely hear her over the sound of hail. It made me think of fireworks.
“It’s hailing, I think. Steel roofs are loud.”
She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. “That almost sounds like gunshots.”
How bad was her neighborhood for that to be her first thought?
I adjusted my underwear. I was sporting such prominent morning wood it was probably best to wait a while before getting up. But I couldn’t linger. She was sexy as hell and if I wanted to stick to my earlier promise and not touch her, I had to create some space between us.
“I could use some breakfast,” she said. “Do you think we can make it to the cafeteria without getting holes in our skulls?”
“It won’t last long,” I assured her, checking my watch. “It’s not even breakfast time yet. Go back to sleep for ten minutes.”
“How can anyone sleep in this noise?” She sat up.
“Fair enough.”
I adjusted my crotch, psyching myself to get up. Why did I feel so nervous? This wasn’t a big deal.
Last night, we’d fooled around, and I’d been confident enough she was into me. Now, I wasn’t so sure. I’d asked for more. I’d asked for commitment, something I’d never asked for before, and that one move had thrown me completely off my game.
Was this how it felt like to desperately pine for someone? Was this how pathetic I had to be? Suddenly, even the act of standing up and letting her witness my hard-on, made me a little seasick.
She appeared next to me, placing her feet on the floor, standing up and adjusting the neckline of her shirt, cheeks pink. “Was I spilling out of this?”
“A little.” I swallowed.
I’d never wanted to touch anything so badly.
“Well, it’s been a long time since I was poked by a hard-on so I can’t blame the ladies for going out on the balcony.” She pulled a face, brushing the side of her breast.
“What are you doing to me?” I groaned, finally standing up.
It was a good thing I bought quality underwear. Lesser material would have given in already.
“Trying to lighten the mood, I guess.” She skipped downstairs and I followed. “I’m still a bit embarrassed over last night.”
I caught up with her at the bathroom door. “You? You’re embarrassed?”
She turned around, leaning against the doorframe. Those cheeks burned bright fuchsia. “Well, yeah. We can pretend it didn’t happen, but I don’t think I can ever wipe that from my brain. Ever.”
“Do you want to?” My voice cracked. “I’ve already replayed it ten times since waking up because I never want to forget.”
“We only just woke up.”
I tilted my head and shrugged. What could I say? The sounds she’d made in the darkness, the way she’d rocked against my fingers… those moments now owned the hard drive of my brain. If Google One ever extended their services to preserving sexual memories, I’d sign up for life.
“Why wouldyoube embarrassed?” she asked, her voice soft as a whisper.
