Page 54 of Falling Madly
She looked surprised. “No.”
“Not even me?”
She gave me a reproaching look. “You’re not my ex.”
“But I am a man you could have complained about if you’d wanted to match his stride.”
She blew a frustrated breath, grabbed a cloth, and began wiping the counter. “That’s the thing! I don’t talk about my exes because I don’t think about them. Even when he went on and on about Carolyn, I just remember thinking, ‘Oh, I’d better not do that thing he hated.’ Now I don’t know if he really hated it, or if he just wanted to keep talking about her.”
“He was probably trying to convince himself that he’d made a good choice, being there with you. Which tells me he’s a douche.”
The guy was a cheating piece of shit, but that was not why I wanted to punch him. I wanted to punch him for taking her for granted.
She froze, the cloth dangling from her fingers. “Ididcomplain about you,” she said in a small voice. “I talked too much about you and all the reasons I hated you.”
“Really? That’s great!”
She frowned at me. “Why?”
“Well, Lil’ Dick complained about his ex and look where he ended up!”
“On her face?”
I flashed her a victorious grin. “Probably in her pants, too.”
“You’re a dick!” She huffed, throwing the wet cloth at me.
I caught it in midair. She was so cute with her cheeks burning, eyes like two flames swallowed by black coals. Was she turned on or furious? Probably just furious.
“Ihavea dick. There’s a slight difference,” I corrected.
“Is there, though? Whenever there’s a dick involved, I seem to end up betrayed.” She spat out the words, looking at me with a mix of hurt and something else.
I swallowed. The energy in the room shifted, like a cold breeze had snuck in through a crack. I’d been feeling so hopeful, reading into her every word, every expression… But if she couldn’t see any difference between me and her cheating ex, I was doomed.
Maybe I’d been depleting my hope, gradually using up the stores, until it was all gone. Like a car that ran out of gas, suddenly sputtering to a stop.
“Fair enough,” I said. “If you think I’m the same as him, you should definitely stay away from me.” I turned on the dishwasher, even though it was barely half full, grabbed my phone and headed for the bedroom. “I’ll see if I can organize you a ride out of here, so you don’t have to wait for those car keys with me.”
I didn’t mean to storm out, but I might have closed the door with more force than was necessary. My heart pounded as I browsed my phone, unable to focus on the screen or whatever I was supposed to do. I didn’t want to find her a ride and send her away, but I couldn’t be this delusional. She might have taken me out of the shit basket, but she’d just put me in the same basket as her ex.
Last night had been a fluke, brought on by wine and some sense of danger. Now, she’d seen what a nutcase I was, decorating my house to match her vision board. She was being nice about it, but that was probably a survival instinct. She wasstuck here with me, relying on me, trying to keep me happy until she got back home.
She’d never give me another chance.
I leaned on the door, letting the pain dig its way through me. Allowing it. Because there was no other choice. I’d made a pact with myself that I’d risk the hurt. I had to be man enough to take it.
Chapter Twenty
Teresa
Istared at the door, my limbs frozen, mind spinning. What had I done? I’d seen the pain in his eyes, almost like a substance that swallowed the calming blue-green. He’d been so buoyant, so full of faith. He’d had enough faith in us to create an entire house and keep track of each interaction we had, finding hope in signs of hate. Who hadthatkind of faith?
I’d thrown my fresh sense of betrayal at him without thinking. I’d lumped him in with Richard. He was the one I wanted to be yelling at right now, not Trevor.
And now he was calling me a ride, getting me away from this house I never wanted to leave. I was still unsure about my feelings for him, but if I wasn’t honest now, I was going to lose him for good. Neither of us could cross that bridge again if I let us get there.
I knocked on the door, then tried opening it, but it didn’t budge.
