Page 55 of Falling Madly
“Trevor? I need to talk to you.”
After a moment, the door opened. His eyes looked a little red, but he met my gaze squarely, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry I put you in the same category as Richard… Dick. You’re not. And I’ve already told you I’ve forgiven you, so I shouldn’t bring it up. Not anymore.”
“You’re still angry,” he stated, watching me carefully.
“Yes. But only like twenty percent. There are a lot of other emotions in the mix. And the anger is mostly for Richard. I think I’m taking it out on you because you’re here, and I haven’t had any closure with him.”
“Sounds like you need that.”
“I think I do,” I admitted.
“Good. You can go talk to him when the driver takes you back to Denver.”
My stomach dropped. “You want me to leave?”
“I won’t keep you against your will. I can’t keep up this one-sided thing between us. I thought I could, and for months, I did. I had hope. And now I feel like I’ve run out. I can’t anymore. I won’t chase you, Teresa. I’m done.”
“You’re… done?” My heart felt like a swelling ball bursting out of my chest. “You liked me and now you don’t like me anymore?”
He looked sad, shaking his head. “I can’t turn off how I feel, but I’m done trying. I can’t take it anymore. Not with ye right here.”
I took a step forward, stepping into that close range where air vibrated between us. “Am I allowed to try? Or is this just your game?”
He held perfectly still, watching me. “What do ye mean?”
I ran my hands up his chest, curling my fingers around the collar of his Henley. “Am I allowed to try… us? I haven’t been thinking about this and Pinterest-stalking you. I’m still catchingup. But I enjoy having such a non-threatening stalker who is so incredibly considerate. It’s flattering. It’s building me up when everything else around me is tearing me down. You’re the only good thing that’s happened to me in months.”
“Good? Not creepy?” He glanced at the living room behind me, looking so mortified that I couldn’t help myself—I hugged him.
He didn’t react at first, but I kept hugging, breathing in his shirt, my eyes stinging from the realization that I already recognized his scent. This was Trevor. Not like the Trevor I remembered from way back, since I didn’t remember much at all. This was Trevor now. And despite all the warnings still lingering in my mind, he felt like a safe place.
After a moment, I felt his arms around me and his breath in my ear. “Are you hugging me because you feel sorry for me? Is this a comfort hug?”
I lifted my head to look him in the eye. “Are you too comfortable? Do you want me to punch you?”
He allowed a faint smile. “I just don’t want pity. I know I’ve done pathetic things, but?—”
“No, you haven’t! You’re being brave and romantic. It feels like a lot,” I confessed, “and I’m not used to it. But don’t give up on me yet. Please.”
Hope lit up behind his eyes, and he leaned in to kiss me. I met him halfway, brushing my fingers across his beard, then wrapping my arms around his neck. The kiss deepened and an avalanche of need rushed through me, settling between my legs. He held my waist, his thumbs stroking my sides, deliciously dipping into the hollows beneath my hip bone, firing another connection down there. I wanted to fall in love. I wanted to be as sure as he was. But I was scared.
“I don’t want you to be a rebound,” I said breathlessly as I pushed him backwards toward the bed. “I feel like I’m using you to get over… him.”
He stopped us, picked me up by the waist and gently threw me on the bed, landing on top of me, locking me in between his arms. “I always thoughthewas the rebound. You used him to make me jealous, right? It worked.”
I’d never admitted it, not even to myself, but there must have been a grain of truth because I felt a zing through my middle. Maybe I’d been using Richard. I wasn’t mad about the thought. It felt a lot better than being betrayed and powerless.
“You were jealous?” I asked, a small smile breaking through.
“Of course. I plotted his murder.” He smiled, placing a kiss on my collarbone. “Several murders.” Another kiss, lingering on my skin until everything tingled. “I hated seeing ye with him. He never looked like he even saw you. A self-centered, blind man. That awards dinner we went to… He kept ogling the waitress and I wanted to beat him up so badly.”
“You went home early.”
“Aye. I couldn’t watch it. I wasthisclose to taking him behind the building…” He pulled his fingers a hair’s width apart, a vein in his neck bulging.
“I had no idea.”
