Page 64 of Falling Madly
“Like you and Charlie?”
She smiled, cutting the cheese into smaller cubes. “You find out a lot living and working together.”
“I don’t know how you do it! I’ve never had the urge to live with a guy.” As I said it, my gaze wandered across the beautiful space.
I had a strong urge to live in this house, but that was just Trevor messing with my mind by creating my dream room. Surely, that didn’t count as an urge to live with a man. I could live here all by myself.
“You will, when it’s the right guy,” Bess said soothingly, presenting me with her simple cheese platter. “I’m so sorry about Richard. That’s awful.”
She looked at me with such genuine compassion my insides twisted. I needed a friend and if I wanted her support, I had to be honest.
I piled cheese on a cracker and ate it to give myself a moment. Fumbling my way around the fancy water cooler on his fridge door, I filled a glass with ice chips and water. I could do this. I could tell her and get this off my chest.
I turned around to face her, drawing a breath. “I slept with Trevor,” I blurted, my eyes on the front door, watching for signs of it opening.
Bess’s eyes widened. “What? When?”
“Just before you arrived.”
She let out a strange noise of excitement, or maybe alarm. “What does this mean? Do you… like him?” Her gaze turned from concerned to hopeful.
I grimaced. “I don’t know what I feel! It was amazing and obviously I’m attracted to him, but now I’m freaking out because you said he idolizes me. I should not be idolized. That will not end well.”
She blinked, confused. “Why not?”
“Because he’ll eventually find out that I’m just a normal person, or something worse. You just said that yourself!”
“I didn’t say ‘something worse’!” She gave me a reproaching look. “And I didn’t know you had feelings for him. I thought you hated him.”
“Hateisa feeling. It’s love’s first cousin.”
“What about how he ruined your career?”
I sighed. I’d been so hurt I might have exaggerated. “I still have a career, don’t I? I don’t love what he did and I’m still a bit mad, but he’s also done great things. That’s why I don’t know what to feel! I need to figure this out before we both get hurt. Before I do something really stupid…”
“Like sleep with him?”
“Ha!”
She was right. The ‘really stupid’ ship had already sailed.
Bess leaned on the counter; her tone soft. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe it’s too early to figure it out. You only just broke up with Richard, and you haven’t even talked to him. You said you just drove away… As much as I’d love to see you andTrevor happy together, I’m afraid this is some kind of whirlwind affair brought on by a traumatic experience.”
It made so much sense I could only nod, breathing forcefully through the heaviness in my chest. I’d jumped in with both feet. Why had I done this to myself?
Bess took the cheese platter and guided us back to the couch. I hugged one of Trevor’s cushions—a creamy white one with a chunky weave cover. It was perfect.
“Trevor thinks it’s the other way around,” I said. “That we were always meant to be, ever since that night, and Richard was the rebound.” My voice sounded a little petulant.
“Did you hook up with Richard within hours of that night?”
“It was about eight months later,” I admitted, sinking deeper into the couch, groaning. “I’ve fallen for Trevor’s funhouse of mirrors and warped logic.”
Bess smiled a little sadly. “I’m sure it makes sense to him. He never acknowledged you with Richard. But you were together for months. He must have meant something to you.”
“It was the safe choice, I guess. It felt like the safe choice, at least. Not some crazy passion that can turn at any moment, but something nice and solid. It was… pleasant.”
Bess bit back a smile. “It sounds like you’re describing a chair.”
