Page 74 of Falling Madly
“Yes, but they weren’t fast enough. The stock was already half-way to zero. I mean, they made a profit, but not like…”
“You?”
He nodded. “And Gavin.”
I stared at him, trying to get my head around it. I’d seen the charts. I didn’t know how many tokens he’d held, or how much they’d been worth, but I’d seen the green spike they called a ‘God candle’. A meteoric rise, followed by an immediate crash. Kind of like our relationship. “How much did you make?”
He set down his water glass, pinning me with a careful look. “About a million.”
“And Boris?”
“Maybe half of that. Charlie got even less. He was busy with Bess, had his phone off.”
I couldn’t argue Boris’s share was mine. There were too many variables. But it didn’t sting any less—being left out. Overlooked. Taking on a crippling mortgage for the rest of my life when he bought a house with cash.
“It should have been you,” he said softly, leaning over the counter.
His fingers reached for mine but didn’t touch.
“Maybe. But it’s a game of chance, isn’t it? Change one thing, and you wouldn’t have been in the right place at the right time. If I hadn’t been replaced by Boris, we might have got together. We might have dated, right?”
“I wanted to.”
“Me, too,” I admitted. “And then you might have been with me, instead of wherever you were when you cashed out.” My eyes scanned the beautiful mahogany cabinets. “You might have missed out on all this.”
His voice cracked with pain. “I missed out on you. I didn’t want a house. I wanted you. I still do.”
His index finger brushed my thumb, and I froze. “I have a thirty-year mortgage. I’m paying nothing but interest,” I said.
He took my hand, his eyes glossy. “Sell it! Move in here with me. I’ll put this house in your name.”
“What?”
A deep crease appeared between his eyes. “I know I shouldn’t say this. It’s too early. But we’re so good together.”
I swallowed a mouthful of air, panic stirring in my chest. I’d worked so hard to buy my condo. It was my independence, with a side dose of loneliness, but it was all mine. I couldn’t live in Cozy Creek. He had no idea how badly I’d messed up in my youth. He had no idea how much I didn’t fit into this place.
“Trevor,” I managed to croak out, at a loss for words.
“What are you feeling?”
“I don’t know. I can’t name a single feeling!” I wailed. Why did he keep asking?
“Last week, you wrote a passionate essay about office snacks. I don’t think you have any trouble recognizing or describing your emotions.”
I smiled, thinking of my defense of the humble yogurt raisins over some fancy chocolate truffles Charlie wanted to order from a local startup. Trevor had given me a thumbs-up, agreeing with my points. I’d ignored him.
I couldn’t ignore him anymore. I had to meet his eyes. I had to be honest.
“I don’t know how I feel about you. About us.”
“You don’t know?” He gave a slow nod, disappointment spreading across his features like an invisible cold shower.
I wrung my hands, desperate for the right words. “I don’t fall in love. It doesn’t happen to me in that way. I’m not like you!”
“Of course not,” Trevor huffed. “Ifall in love every Thursday!” He sounded like a gameshow host on steroids.
I rolled my eyes to acknowledge the skit, but he sighed deeply, dropping the sarcasm. “Nae. I fell in love with you. That’s it.”
