Page 60 of Falling Madly
Bess observed me with caution. “You two getting along?”
“Like a house on fire!” Trevor announced, emerging from the bedroom. “Sorry, I was in the shower.” He hugged Charlie, then Bess. “I wasn’t expecting you today at all. How did you get here so fast?”
His hair looked damp. Had he wet it in the sink or something? Mine had dried into awkward curls.
“We just thought we’d better not leave you two alone for too long,” Bess said, her gaze darting between the two of us.
I clenched, glancing at Trevor. I didn’t want to lie, but I wasn’t ready to publicize our fledgling relationship. I wasn’t even sure what we were to each other. Enemies? Lovers? Enemies to lovers? The Pinterest stalker and his stalk-ee? Was that even a word?
“We’re cool,” Trevor said, placing his hand on my shoulder, giving me a wink.
I must have looked particularly uncomfortable, since Bess pulled me away from him, her eyes filled with concern. “You don’t have to pretend for us! Come on, let’s go find something to eat. Do you have any snacks? I’m ravenous.”
“Please! Help yourself!” Trevor called behind us.
I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I followed Bess to the kitchen, helping her open cupboards until we found a bag of chips and some pistachios. She filled some bowls and started eating. “God, I wish I could have just one glass of wine right now.”
“I promise I won’t drink either,” I said. “We can be awkward and sober together.”
I had to keep a clear head, or at least avoid getting any more emotionally overwhelmed.
“I can’t believe you got stuck here with him on Valentine’s Day! How did Richard take it? I know you guys had plans.”
I cringed at the thought. I’d gushed about those plans with Bess before she’d left for her trip. Harmless office chatter, which now made me feel sick.
“He… um… we’re not together anymore.”
“What? Since when? What happened?”
I took a breath and gave her a quick rundown of recent events, leaving out the little detail of me having sex with Trevor. That part sounded insane, and very much like a crazy rebound tryst. I didn’t regret it but couldn’t say it out loud. Not yet.
Bess stared at me, dumbfounded. “That’s quite the Valentine’s Day. Are yousureyou’re okay? I don’t think I’d be.”
I glanced over my shoulder, checking the men were out of earshot. Trevor gave me an upward nod across the room, throwing another log into the fire. Charlie sat on the ottoman next to him, warming his hands by the flames.
“Trevor’s been a good distraction.” A smile crept up lips despite my best efforts.
“You’re not giving him false hope, are you?” Bess’s words yanked my gaze away from him. There was a pained look in her eyes. “I know what he did was deplorable and you’re over him, but he’s so in love with you, it’s painful to watch. I can’t help it… He’s Charlie’s best friend, and I’d hate to see him get hurt.” Bess filled her mouth with chips.
So in love with you?My throat closed up, making it impossible to swallow the chewed-up pistachio in my mouth. I’d only just learned Trevor was still attracted to me and wantedme to give him a chance. Sure, there were signs… like this living room, but I’d refused to see anything else.
“You never told me he was in love with me,” I whispered, forcefully swallowing the nuts. “Nobody said anything.”
Bess looked confused. “I thought it was obvious. You guys had a thing… He never got over it and you did.” She shrugged as if to say this kind of thing happened all the time. “And we thought hewasgetting over it, slowly. He made a lot of progress over Christmas, and I honestly thought he’d be dating someone else by now. But…”
“What?”
Bess winced. “The way he’s looking at you now.” She shook her head, taking a crunchy bite of another chip. “It’s like he’s back to where we started, mooning over you. And this house…” She looked around the room. “It’s insane! What if he meets someone else? What is she going to think when she finds out that he did all this for you? Best-case scenario, she’ll change every little detail or force him to sell.”
“And the worst case?” I asked, my voice sticking to my throat.
Bess looked at me like I was playing dumb. “She’ll run. I wouldn’t touch this kind of crazy with a barge pole.”
I felt all the blood drain from my face. She was right. Trevor might have been crazy about me, but to anyone else, he was just crazy. The only thing that could make this okay was me. If I loved him back with all I had, he wasn’t crazy anymore—he was passionate. But how could I ever match this level of devotion? Trevor wasn’t just maybe sort of into me. He was obsessed. And I’d been crazy enough to sleep with him. I’d fueled the fire. I’d led him on so hard, I was one hundred percent responsible.
He’d been on his way to getting over me, and I’d ruined it.
I felt like throwing up, but instead stuffed my mouth with chips until the salt burned my lips. What was even worse, I still craved him. My body was insatiable, already pulsing inanticipation of the next time I could be alone with him. Maybe we were both crazy.
