Page 117 of The Holiday Grump
I met his drowsy, adoring eyes and smiled back, feeling a little different. A little bolder. A bit more like myself. Like I’d been as a child, secure in my soul. When doing your best was enough for a gold star. When I knew I was adored, just as I was.
We cleaned up and got dressed, but I left the dresser the way it was. So what if someone figured out we were having sex? I was happy, and I wasn’t hiding anymore.
“I feel better,” I said as I smoothed my hair in front of his mirror. “Way more relaxed. What kind of sorcery was that?”
He chuckled. “The accidental kind, I suppose. I’m just a man who’s been thinking about your pussy all day.”
“Wow.” I cocked an eyebrow, feeling a little flustered. “Where’s that fancy English degree now?”
“Void,” he said. “I’ve been reduced to a blabbering puddle of need.”
“With a horny caveman vocabulary?”
He laughed, drawing me into his arms. “Yep. Only three thoughts in rotation. Must protect my woman. Must keep her fed and happy. Must fill her with my seed. Must reproduce.”
A shiver ran through me. “That was four.”
“Oops.” He grinned.
“Do you want kids?” The question slipped out in my usual style, bypassing all retrofitted filters.
“We can talk about that later.”
“No. What if it’s a dealbreaker? I… I…” I had to be brave enough to tell him. “I want to be a mom. It’s important. I don’t want to wait forever, either. I’m sorry?—”
He silenced me with his fingers, shaking his head. “Do not apologize. It was the one thing we fought about the most with Elora. She didn’t want kids, and it drove us apart.” He sighed, looking out the window. “This is good. We should talk about it. I’m so used to avoiding that subject to maintain peace. But you’re right. It’s important.”
“She didn’t want kids, but you…” I held my breath.
He met my gaze, his eyes full of conviction. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I sighed as another piece of our puzzle clicked into place. “Not yet,” I said firmly. “But I’ll let you know.”
When we walked down the hallway, I heard squeals of laughter. We found everyone sitting by the fire with drinks in hand, talking animatedly. All the seats were taken, with Kailee and Grace on the rug in front of the fire.
Felicity raised her glass of mulled cider. “There’s still some apple pie left. I put the ice cream back in the freezer.”
“Thank you.”
I tried to wipe the guilty look off my face, but as we walked past her, she grabbed my arm, grinning. “Those breathing exercises are truly amazing! You both look so much better.”
“Yeah, they’re great.” My face flushed.
“I haven’t done breathing exercises with anyone in a long time.” She downed her drink and sighed. “I miss them.”
“Oh! Jackson said he’d come by tonight to drop off a present,” Fredrik told her.
Felicity’s eyes narrowed. “And what made you think of him?”
Fredrik shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you were thinking of him. I was having a psychic moment.”
“I don’t have a present for him,” Felicity spat out and returned to the rest of the party.
“Is there something going on between them?” I asked Fredrik.
He looked as baffled as I felt. “It’s… something.”
We’d just finished our desserts when the doorbell rang.
