Page 69 of The Holiday Grump
I was feeling the cold now, but I didn’t care. I could tell she wanted to be brave. I led us to another bank of snow.
“I’ll lie down first,” I said, trying to figure out the best way to ease her in, but she wasn’t having it.
“No, I have to just… take a leap.”
Noelle drew a breath, closed her eyes, and jumped. At first, she nearly disappeared into the snow, thrashing and squealing. It took me a moment to realize she wasn’t excited. She was panicking, struggling to get up. Without thinking, I jumped in, grabbed her by the waist, and yanked her up.
“That was awful,” she said, panting and shivering. “I feel like I’m dying.”
She clung to me as we walked back into the sauna. Her skin felt freezing against mine. How could anyone get so cold in such a short time?
“This thing you have… the way your fingers and toes looked last night. It’s pretty severe, isn’t it?” I asked, rubbing her back as we sat on the highest bench and threw more water onto the stones.
She sounded close to tears. “Yeah. It’s called Raynaud’s. It messes with the circulation in my hands and feet. I get coldeasily, and it hurts so much. It feels like I’m being stabbed. My fingers and toes go white, and I have to spend a long time warming up.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry. And I don’t want to be a wuss.”
“You’re not. You’re incredibly brave.”
I would have never described being cold the way she did. Something dawned on me. “You must have been in a lot of pain last night?”
“That’s just what cold feels like. I think I’m more suited to warmer climates.” She tried to smile.
“No kidding.”
“But I like the sauna. Here I can finally get warm.”
I threw more water onto the stones and pulled her closer. It was stiflingly hot in the sauna now, but her skin still felt cold and clammy. “I promise I’ll never ask you to do that again.”
“It’s okay. I can take the pain.”
“But I don’t want to cause you pain. I want to heat the sauna and keep the fire going and make sure you’re okay, always.”
The words rushed out with more meaning than I’d intended, but I didn’t want to take them back. Instead, I held her tighter, hot steam burning my lungs.
I was falling for a woman whose body couldn’t even take the climate in the place I called home. It was like bringing home an exotic plant I had no idea how to care for. What if she wilted and died like every other plant I’d ever had?
“You grew up in Bangor, right?”
“It’s ironic, isn’t it? I should have been born in theCaribbean!” She rubbed her legs. “That’s one reason I loved working on the cruise ship. Everyone would be complaining about the heat, but I mostly enjoyed the lack of pain.”
“So… you’re going back?” I held my breath, feeling like the biggest fool.
Was I expecting her to change her plans because we’d seen each other naked? Because we’d had mind-blowing sex? And why was I assuming it had been mind-blowing for her? We’d both been in desperate need, I knew that. But it didn’t mean she was moving in for good.
She looked up, her eyes glowing with hope and sadness and something else. I couldn’t read them. I had to wait for the words.
So I waited, with my heart in my throat.
CHAPTER 23
Noelle
Was he asking me to stay? Or checking my schedule to see how long we could keep seeing each other? Because I wanted to keep seeing him. I already craved more. But I couldn’t think past today or maybe tomorrow.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m waiting to hear from my friend Grace. She’s organizing our next gig. I just… go along.”
