Page 83 of The Holiday Grump
We’d secured a small table by the window overlooking the street. It was a picture-perfect scene, complete with Christmas lights and floating snowflakes, both of which I was uncharacteristically appreciating on this fine night. And for some inexplicable reason, my best friend was glaring at me.
“Why? You do it all the time.” I sipped my beer.
He groaned. “Yeah. Sure. I have. And it can be fun if you’re the type. Which you’re not.”
“How do you know?” I managed to sound hurt.
“Because you have to keep emotions out of it. You have to set clear rules and boundaries.”
“We did!”
He shook his head. “No, you didn’t. You can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re involved up to your eyeballs. Because you’re in love with her. Because she’s falling for you. Take your pick.”
“Earlier, you told me I should have a fling. You said it’s great because she’s only in town for a short time. No hassle. She’s still going to get on the next ship and sail away.”
“And you’re okay with that?” He gave me a long, hard look, and I covered my flinch by taking a long swig of beer. “Didn’t think so,” he concluded.
The tourists at the neighboring table watched the scene behind the window, hypnotized. The snow was falling more heavily now, and the wind was picking up, obscuring visibility. Where they saw a photo opportunity, I saw hazards. I saw a never-ending labor camp of snow being pushed and scraped. Noelle had no idea. She was one of those tourists.
“Maybe she’ll change her mind. Maybe she’ll… stay.”
“To be your fuck buddy?”
“It was her idea!”
Jackson put down his beer and took a deep breath. “I know I’m not any sort of authority on commitment or relationships, but lately, I’ve been thinking I want more. I don’t know what exactly it’ll look like, but I’m done with the hookups. I deleted Tinder.”
“Seriously?”
He looked exactly like I remembered, dressed and styled for the cover ofGQ, but there was a hint of pain and uncertainty in his eyes I didn’t remember seeing before. He’d always been the incorrigible charmer who didn’t let life gethim down. The one who saw the silver lining in the worst tragedy. Even mine.
“Yeah. I think I wanna grow up. Be worthy of someone’s primary cell number. Not the dirty little secret.”
“Sounds good. Is that why you called? Is something… going on?” I narrowed my eyes.
Jackson looked surprised. “No. I mean, not yet. I’m working on it.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, but changed his mind.
The door slammed as the tourists left, their phones held high as they photographed the flurry of snow swirling around the string lights of Main Street, holding onto their hats. Their enthusiasm made me think of Noelle. Everything made me think of her.
“Like I said, I’m still working on this, but you’re already that guy, Teddy. You’re a commitment junkie. Premium husband material. Which makes me think you’re fooling yourself.”
I took another gulp of liquid encouragement, keeping my gaze out the window. “I know what you mean, and I did that at first. I came on too strong, and I freaked her out. We nearly broke up before it even started. But you know what? I hate relationship stuff. Going to concerts and restaurants and endless public outings that you have to shower and dress up for. Clearing drawers and watching them take over your space and move everything… fill your windowsills and counter space with pointless crap. Cushions everywhere! Pretending to like their family and friends… it’s dreadful.”
“Do you know her family or friends?”
“No, but…”
“So you’re talking about Elle?”
He’d never called Elora by her real name, and she’d hated it.
“Well, you can’t choose your family, so the chances are?—”
“The chances are that your severely introverted ass won’t enjoy any social interaction that involves more than two people. That doesn’t mean her family is awful.”
