Page 88 of The Holiday Grump
I glanced down at my peach sweater, mortified. “I… I’m not sure I’ll?—”
“Back off! She’s spoken for,” Felicity cut in.
Ralph frowned. “By who?”
“By whom,” Ida corrected.
“Are you sure?” Astrid frowned. “I would’ve said who. Whom sounds pretentious.”
“I agree,” Erica said. “It’s like hence. Makes you sound highfalutin.”
They were trying to distract Ralph like you would a toddler, but he wasn’t buying it.
“Are you really seeing someone?” he asked me under his breath.
I opened my mouth, but Kailee beat me to it. “She’s seeing Uncle Teddy, okay? Stop harassing her! Can’t you see she’s not interested?”
She grabbed her jacket and bolted, her eyes glossy.
“What just happened?” Ralph stared after her as we all listened to “Jingle Bells” for the tenth time.
“I think she likes you,” Eileen suggested.
“No!” I scrambled. Even if it was true, Kailee didn’t need her feelings broadcast. “She’s just… passionate.”
“Either way, she’s fifteen and way too good for you.” Felicity glared at Ralph, already pulling out her phone to message her daughter.
Ralph raised his hands. “Understood.” Then he turned back to me. “So you’re dating the old man?”
“He’s one year older than you,” Felicity shot back. “And they’re trying to keep a low profile, so…” She cast me a worried look.
“I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone,” I said, heart in my throat.
Ralph leaned back like a cat with a gallon of cream. “You want me to keep a secret? In Hideaway Harbor?”
“Only for a little while. Till Christmas.”
“And what’s in it for me?”
“Shush, you big baby!” Erica snapped. “You’ll do it because you’re a decent person.”
Ralph threw his arms wide, nearly tipping his chair. “Relax! I’ll keep your secret. Just looking for a sweetener. Drinks after Tree Lighting?” He threw me another hopeful look. “If I’m seen with a pretty girl, my stock will go up. I’ll leave after one drink, you watch me go… Look sad.”
“You really think that’ll help you with the ladies?” Felicity gawked.
“Works for Jackson.”
Red blotches rose on Felicity’s cheeks. “So does throwing money around.”
“Oh, Ralph,” Astrid sighed. “The real problem is this air of desperation. You need to cleanse your aura. I have just the thing. Come by tomorrow?—”
“I’m not trying another tea. The last one gave me the trots, and my tennis serve didn’t improve at all!”
Astrid pouted. “I told you, it improves yourfocus. You still need to practice.”
“And speaking of practice.” Ida gave him a stern look,handing him the hook he’d already dropped. “Let’s get started.”
For the next half hour, Ida taught Ralph his first slipknot. We chatted about the week’s reading, ate cookies, and drank tea while Ralph proudly produced a loopy chain.
