Page 108 of The Holiday Grump
Fredrik captured my face between his hands, speaking in a soft, low voice. “You tell her that there’s a hopeless man in a small town who can’t go on without you, who needs you so desperately he’s doing stupid things his friend warned him about.”
“Jackson thought this was stupid?”
“He said inviting your family was risky and presumptuous. But it’s Christmas, and I know you miss them.”
“What if I’d left already? Would you carry on spending Christmas with my family?”
He looked guilty. “I kind of have the whole town on a lookout. They know Grace and report back to me whenever either of you goes anywhere.”
I frowned. “But we’ve been really careful.”
“It’s Hideaway Harbor. This is the most fun they’ve had in ages. I have three detailed reports from different people on how you went into the library to use the bathroom. Did you think I was going to let you sneak out? I’m in love with you, Noelle. If you go, you’ll take everything… you’ll take all the colors with you.”
My heart glowed in all the colors, my tongue lost for words. “You’re in love with me?”
“Hopelessly, head over heels and toes and all my internal organs. Since the day I agreed to be your friend with benefits. Which probably explains why I was so terrible at it.”
“We were both terrible at it. I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted to make you admit it because I…” I swallowed against the truth that tried to push its way out of me.
Lifting my chin, he brushed our lips together like a gentle promise. “Please, stay.”
He was offering me a choice I thought I’d lost. Could I take it?
CHAPTER 36
Fredrik
Iheld my fingers under her chin, holding my breath. She’d come into my life like a lightning bolt of sunshine and color. Would she go and take it all away?
“What’s holding you back?” I asked, trying to swallow the terror I felt.
“So you can fix it?” Her eyebrows gathered in concern. “You can’t fix everything, Fredrik. Some things, you just have to accept.”
I thought I’d needed to fix the circumstances, remove every obstacle out of her way so she’d stay. But she had doubts. If I pushed harder, she’d run. I could feel it. Maybe we’d gone about this all wrong, playing house and pretending tomorrow wasn’t coming. And of course,inviting her family behind her back, which in hindsight was incredibly stupid.
We were both woefully unprepared for the real world. Me, the socially inept hermit, and her, the restless spirit, only in town for the holidays. We weren’t compatible. This was another woman I couldn’t hold on to. If I guilted her into staying, I’d end up killing her, just like I’d killed Elora.
Steeling myself, I let go of her and opened the front door. “Okay, go. I’ll cancel plans with your family. I’m being selfish. I’m holding on to you because I need you. But I don’t want you to stay because of that.”
I waited, closing my eyes so I didn’t have to see her walk away. I didn’t want that memory. She took the door handle from me. The cold air from the street hit me, sending a chill to my bones. Finally, I heard the door close, and I opened my eyes.
She hadn’t left.
She stood right in front of me, looking up in earnest. “You know I’ll probably mess up your life. You’ll have to deal with a lot.”
My chest ached at the sudden hope. “I’d rather have your issues than go on without you. Even if Ionlyhad your issues.”
“You don’t mean that.” She shook her head, unbelieving. But I saw my own hope reflecting in her eyes.
“I do.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “You can have kisses with the issues.”
Her lips found mine. Searching. Discovering. I grabbed her waist and pulled her into a deep kiss. She softened against me, and I softened my hold.
Eventually, she pulled back, her mouth curving a little. “And I’m going to need to review that employment contract.”
I turned around to get my laptop, but she grabbed my cardigan. “Not right now, you silly man. First, I need you to come upstairs with me. We have to talk about that bed. I mean, I’m dating this guy. He’s pretty tall and has these big wood-chopping muscles, and I’m afraid that bed is not big enough for us. I’m flexible on the kitchen, but I’m going to need at least a queen. Otherwise, I can’t even consider this job offer. Because I’m so in love with him, I want to stay with him every night. Sometimes, it’s not practical to stay at his place, you know? He might have to stay over.”
