Page 123 of Feeling the Heat: Part One
But I can’t do that right now.
I’m embarrassed.
I’m frustrated.
I’mscared.
River’s jealousy terrifies me. I’m worried if he doesn’t express it, and lets it fester inside him, it’ll ruin us. And I can’t keep trying things with Camille if I see us continuing to head down that path. I’d be just as responsible for the pain that would cause.
Tension snaps in the air. We’re almost at our breaking point, both so on edge that I could cry from the intensity of it. It’s making my mind hazy, because there’s the faintest scent of Camille right on the edges of my senses.
River’s nostrils flare, though, so maybe he scents her, too.
Another beat passes, then River’s lips curve into a half smile. “You get off on being a martyr,sir.” He emphasizes the last word with a hint of a growl, but there’s an unexpected playfulness in his eyes.
I let out a surprised, choked laugh. “Sorry, sir.”
He leans in, rubbing his cheek against mine to mark me with his dark, delicious scent. “You’re wrong,” he murmurs, staying close so I can’t see his expression.
“I am, sir?” I ask, keeping my voice even because it feels like if I show him how badly I want to hear what he says next, it will scare away the words.
“Yes. I’m a jealous asshole with a martyr complex. But it’s not in the way you think.”
I hiss as he nips at my ear, the sting of pain lighting me up. My body presses closer, begging for more.
River lets out a dark laugh and pulls back to look me in the eye. There’s a clenching anxiety down the bond before he speaks. I send back all my love and support and he swallows hard.
“I’m not just jealous of you,” he murmurs.
I can’t keep the surprise off of my face.
God, of course it’s not just me. I’ve been so concerned about his reaction to me being with another person that I hadn’t considered the other ways our pack dynamic has changed since we started courting Camille.
“Is it Jackson?” I ask hesitantly, knowing it’s a very tender subject for my mate. “Are you worried about Camille taking away his attention?”
River smiles, the expression rueful. “Yes. But again, it’s not just that.”
Nervous anticipation flutters inside my stomach. “What else?” I ask.
He opens his mouth to speak, but freezes, eyes flicking away from mine to look at the door. “Did you hear that?”
“I didn’t hear anything.” Desperation swells inside me, needing to know what he was going to say. I grip his arm. “Please, River. What else?”
He looks back at me, his dark gaze boring into me. “Hold on.” River steps back, and the lack of his slender frame and long limbs caging me in against the wall makes me sag.
Fuck. He was so close to opening up to me. Did he really hear something, or was that an excuse for him to back away from the vulnerability?
River pauses at the door to his bedroom, listening for a few seconds. His whole body is tense, like he fears whatever is outthere. A moment later, I hear what he noticed. The faint whisper of voices.
He listens for a few more seconds, then spins back to face me, pupils blown wide. Whatever he heard has made his alpha rise to the surface again.
“Get on the bed,” he growls, pacing toward me, every inch of his lithe body coiled to pounce.
I cross my arms and shake my head at him. “Tell me what you were going to say!”
He sighs, reaching up to tear off his glasses and pinch between his brows. “I will. I’ll tell you everything. But please, get on the bed. My alpha… Ineedyou.”
His vulnerability startles me enough that I acquiesce, nodding.
