Page 46 of Feeling the Heat: Part One
Ambrose nods, and there’s a flicker of hope in the bond.
Huh. I hadn’t realized until now that we’ve had ourselves closed off from the start of the conversation. We’re all so worried about hurting each other or messing things up that we’re not being open.
That needs to stop. Now.
I let down my guard and let my emotions flow through the bond. Worry about change. Excitement about what a scent match could mean for us if it works out. Frustration that we’re not as connected as I want us to be. Even jealousy that River and Ambrose have a bond that I don’t share with them.
“Fuck, man,” River says, eyes going wide at the deluge of feelings.
Ambrose reaches out and squeezes my arm to reassure me I’m doing the right thing, letting his barriers go as well. His intense longing for Camille swirls together with worry about hurting River. He’s got so much love inside him for my best friend that it makes my chest ache with the desire to have someone feel that way about me.
River grabs the older alpha’s face and kisses him tenderly, and their love burns even brighter across the bond.
Ambrose adores River. He would do anything for him, and that includes giving up his dream of a pack with an omega. Giving up his scent match.
He’s a stronger man than I could ever hope to be.
I surreptitiously wipe a tear from my eye as their lips part and give River an expectant look. “Come on. Your turn.”
He frowns, hesitating for a moment, but Ambrose levelshim with his steady gaze, open and accepting of whatever his mate is feeling.
River’s emotions seep in slowly through the bond, like he’s cracking the door open and peeking his head through to make sure it’s safe. There’s a flash of worry that we’re going to be unhappy with him if he shares his true feelings.
I’m proud and relieved when he pushes through it.
River is terrified.
He’s scared that Ambrose won’t love him as much if he has an omega, yet simultaneously fearful of the pain his mate would feel if she rejected him.
He’s angry at himself for even thinking about keeping Ambrose from his scent match.
He’s afraid that the two of us will like this omega better than him, and leave him for her. Worried that she won’t like him, and we’ll stay with him, but resent him for things not working out.
He’s worried he’s not enough for anyone.
That last one hurts my heart the most. River is amazing, and it kills me that he’d ever think that.
And underneath it all, tucked so deep inside him it’s almost imperceptible, is the hope that this omega will be good for us. That she’ll slot into our pack perfectly and we’ll be even happier. That she’ll give me the intimacy I’m missing. That she’ll give Ambrose someone to cherish in a way he can’t. That she’ll want him, too.
I burst out of my seat and haul my best friend into my arms. “It’s okay,” I murmur, holding him tight. River lets out a heavy, shuddering sigh and nods against my shoulder.
“Thank you for letting us in,” Ambrose says in a soothing whisper. I startle as he joins the hug, wrapping his arms around both of us as best he can. We don’t really touch much, and once I get over the surprise, I realize I like it. A lot.
Shit.I ease some of my mental barrier back into place, but not before River lets out a watery chuckle. “You’re allowed to enjoy it. It doesn’t make you gay to like hugs from your pack.”
“I know that!” I protest, even as my face grows hot.
Dolly barks, unhappy that we’re not including her in this impromptu hugging sesh.
I back away and scoop her up, letting Ambrose hold River on his own as he whispers reassurances to him.
When we all sit back down at the table—Dahlia on my lap now, doing her best to try to steal eggs off my plate—there’s a long silence. Our bonds are much calmer after the catharsis of letting go for a bit.
River speaks first. “I think we should try.” It’s clear through the bond that he means it. “We don’t know if she’ll want us, but if she reaches out, we need to try.”
“I agree.” I could elaborate on how much I liked Cami and how I think she could be a great fit, but they can already tell I’m a fan of hers.
We both turn to focus on Ambrose. He scrubs a hand over his face. “Okay.”
