Page 74 of Feeling the Heat: Part One
“I work with her.” There’s a pause, and River lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m her boss.”
“Wait,what?” The new information has Jackson’s aggressive stance melting. He turns the chair next to River around and swings a leg over to sit astride it, leaning his arms on the back of the chair. “Damn dude, what are the odds?”
River huffs out a humorless laugh. “I shouldn’t be surprised. I have awful luck, so it tracks.”
I understand why seeing his employee sitting at our dining table would be shocking, but that still doesn’t explain his lack of civility.
I hate to ask, because my alpha is convinced that my scent match is flawless, but I force the question out. “Is she bad at her job? Is that why you don’t like her?”
River shakes his head. “No, she’s the most competent person on my team. She’s great at her job.” There’s obvious admiration and a touch of frustration in his tone.
“So…” My brow furrows. “She’s too good at her job and you’re worried that she’s going to steal your role?”
River shakes his head again. “No, she doesn’t have any interest in management, from what I can tell.”
Jackson lets out a frustrated exhale. “I’m seriously not getting this at all. Yeah, it’s weird that she’s your subordinate and I understand why that power dynamic could be an issue, but surely you can figurethat out.”
“No, we can’t. There’s a strict policy against it. We’d both get fired. Besides… it’s… it won’t work between us.”
An uncomfortable, nagging sensation is forming in my gut. As much as I don’t want to think anything bad about my mate, I’m starting to suspect that Camille isn’t the bad coworker.
River is.
The dread increases as I recall things Camille mentioned about work. When we first met, she was worried about how her employer would react to her missing so many days for her heat. Tonight, she viscerally reacted to us asking her about her job. She looked like she saw a ghost when River walked into the room. She pretended like they’d never met before.
“Jesus, River, what did you do to her?” I blurt, my alpha’s defensiveness for my scent match rising to the surface before I can tamp it down.
He flinches like I’ve slapped him, and I ache to take the words back, but it’s too late. “I’m not a monster. I’ve kept my distance from her and clearly that’s made her uncomfortable. I’ve done nothing to make Camille like me, and yes, I haven’t been friendly, but I’ve always stayed professional.”
“Butwhy?” Jackson asks. “Camille is so nice and smart. There’s no reason you two shouldn’t get along.”
“Because my alpha wanted her!” River snaps.
My eyes widen as his frustration smashes down the barrier he’s erected in our bond. He’s so angry at himself, it hurts.
Silence stretches out between the three of us. I can tell Jackson wants to say something, but he’s holding back to give River space to continue.
Which, after a shuddering inhale and returning his glasses to his face, he does. River looks at his hands as he speaks, like it’s too difficult to look at either of us right now. “We met my first day at the office, and my alpha was making me want to act like a total psycho around Camille. I saw her when I walkedinto the room for my intro meeting with my team, and the whole time my damn alpha wanted to growl at everyone to leave the room so I could fuck her on the conference table.”
River looks up, and his eyes flick between me and Jackson. “You know that’s not normal for me. The only time my alpha makes himself known is…” A flush creeps up his neck. “When I’m with you, Ambrose. And that wasn’t so intense. Not right away, at least.” He waits for Jackson to make a joke about our dynamic, but the beta’s eyes only widen before he nods.
“I know, love,” I murmur, trying to not let him hear my surprise at his alpha reacting so strongly to Camille. My mind races behind my understanding smile, wondering if Camille is River’s scent match, and he didn’t realize it then because she hadn’t revealed. But no, though rare, betas can have scent matches, too.
As if he’s heard my thoughts, River continues. “My alpha was feral for her, so I stayed as far away from her as the job would allow. I canceled one-on-ones with her. I sat on the opposite side of the room in staff meetings. I did everything I could over chat. I was… I am an asshole to her, because that makes it easier to keep away.”
River’s voice trails off and he squeezes his eyes closed, as if he’s trying to shut out the memory of his actions.
I can’t hold myself back any longer. Not when he’s in such clear distress. I get up and round the table to drag him into my arms, but Jackson is faster, standing and tugging River up into a hug.
After a few seconds, River tries to pull back, but Jackson shakes his head and holds him tighter. “Nope. This deserves a long hug. I gotta make up for all the time you were worrying about this on your own.” Almost a minute of crushing River to his chest later, Jackson thumps his back and pulls away.
River’s glasses are fogged from being pressed up againstJackson’s bulk and he lets out a disgruntled huff as he wipes them off, but the pained expression from before has softened significantly.
Jackson wipes his eyes and clears his throat. “Fuck, Riv. Why didn’t you tell us about her? You didn’t have to deal with those feelings alone. We could’ve figured something out together.”
He took the words right out of my mouth. I’m hurting for River that he struggled with this, but alongside that hurt is my own pain and frustration.
He should’ve told me. I’m his partner. My job is to support him and he knows how important doing that is to me.
