Page 24 of Feeling the Heat: Part Two
“Eh, he didn’t really doubt you, so he knew it wasn’t a good bet.”
“Sure he didn’t.” I could feel Jackson’s stress through the bond over the past few days, and I’m confident no small part of that was worry about me following through. “So, are you guys almost here? I haven’t gone inside because I didn’t think it’d be good if Camille saw me on my own.”
Despite my best efforts to keep my link with her closed, knowing that Camille is across the street made it impossible for me to keep everything out. I’ve felt multiple strong spikes of stress from her in the time I’ve been sitting here, and each one had me ready to spring out of my chair and race across the street to get rid of whatever was causing her to feel that way.
I thought it was torture not letting myself feel her through the bond, the strain of keeping the barricade up almost unbearable at times with how much my alpha demanded I check and make sure she’s okay. But feeling her again is a thousand times worse. If tonight goes south and she doesn’t give me a chance, I’m not sure how I’ll survive putting the barrier back in place.
Don’t catastrophize. I can practically hear Dr. Mike’s voice echoing in my head. Easy for him to say when I doubt he’s had to fight every instinct inside him to ignore the call of a bond.
Ambrose sighs. “I’m stuck in traffic. There was an accident a few blocks from the house, and I’ve been sitting at the same light for the past fifteen minutes with no sign of movement. At this rate, I’d probably get there sooner if I were to get out and walk there, but there’s nowhere for me to park my car.”
“Shit. Okay. What about Jackson? Could one of you walk here? I know it’s not ideal, but?—”
“Jackson had to take Dahlia to the emergency vet.”
Alarm surges inside me. “Is she okay? What happened?” I want to ask why someone didn’t call to tell me, because I love Dolly, but I don’t have the right to be upset when I abandoned her along with everyone else.
“She threw up a bunch right before we were about to leave. I don’t think it’s anything drastic since there was no sign she got into something in the house that would make her sick. He took her to make sure she’s okay.” Ambrose lets out a weak groan. “Just our luck, right?”
“So what should I do?” I pinch between my brows and push a little into my connection to Camille. There’s a base level of stress that hasn’t gone away, and she seems miserable. “I’m not sure how long Camille is going to stay at the party, but if you get here in the next half hour or so, it might still be okay.”
“I’ll do my best, but I don’t have high hopes.” Ambrosepauses, and I can feel through the bond what he’s about to say before he speaks. “You’re going to need to go in there on your own.”
“No way. That’s a terrible idea!” My loud protest earns me a side-eye from the beta working on a laptop beside me. I suck in a deep breath and lower my voice. “Jackson is the one who was invited to the party. I’m only allowed to be there as his guest. Camille will freak out if I’m there on my own. She won’t talk to me. Besides, Lauren will?—”
“Lauren wants us to help Camille,” Ambrose interrupts. “She’ll be more upset with you if she thinks you didn’t show up. I doubt they’ll help us again if none of us come after they badgered Camille into attending.”
“But…”
Ambrose’s energy through the bond turns adamant and stern. “You said you’d do whatever it takes to make our pack whole.”
He doesn’t need to say anything else. My stomach churns, and the familiar urge to run away from conflict rises, but I swallow it down.
“Okay. You’re right. I’ll go talk to her and try to keep her there until you get here. I can’t promise it won’t be a disaster. In fact, I can almost guarantee it will be.”
Ambrose lets out a small laugh. “Can’t be worse than bonding her and then getting her fired.”
“I didn’t get her fired!” I hiss, and the laptop guy gives a disgruntled huff, shutting his computer like he can’t work under these conditions.
“I know, I know. Just talk to her. Try not to get defensive. She’s going to be angry, but she needs to see that you won’t give up the second things get uncomfortable. Honestly, maybe it’s better it’s only you right now.”
“I doubt that,” I groan, standing up from my post by thecafe window and forcing myself to toss my coffee in the trash and head across the street while I still have the nerve. “Wish me luck. I’m heading in.”
“Good luck.” There’s a pause, and flickers of Ambrose’s worry and tentative hope seep through the bond. “No matter what happens, I’m proud of you.”
His voice is so tender that tears well in my eyes. I struggle against the urge to dismiss his words. To tell myself I’m undeserving of them. Undeserving of the love of such an incredible alpha. Undeserving of the pack we’ve formed. Undeserving of the omega I’m about to try to win back.
Those thoughts led to where we are now. I refuse to let them control me. It’s not a matter of deserving something or worth. These people are my pack, and a true pack, one formed with love and respect, means giving and accepting support. Showing up when you’re needed and being vulnerable when you’re struggling. It may take me a lifetime for my first instinct not to be avoidance and self-sabotage. Maybe I’ll never stop feeling that way. But I’m trying to be better, and as terrifying as it is, it also feels right.
“I love you.” I don’t mean to say the words aloud because I don’t want to pressure him to say them back. “Shit, sorry.”
Ambrose snorts. “You should be.” There’s a brief pause. “I love you, too. Now get off the phone and go get our omega.”
God,no wonder Camille is stressed. The party is packed, ballroom full to bursting with people. I don’t usually have a problem with crowds, but even my alpha is agitated by it.
I’m not surprised by the success of the event given how talented Lauren is and the network she’s built over the years. She should’ve been on the board of Pulse instead of working asa mid-level agent, and I’m sure they’re shitting themselves now. They didn’t ever bother to make her sign a non-compete clause, so certain that her role at the firm was the best an omega could hope to achieve. Serves them right to lose half their clients as a reward. When I found out she’d hired Camille, that was a cherry on top of the fuck you to those assholes.
I regret not having quit sooner. If I could go back in time, I’d quit the moment Camille met Ambrose and Jackson and never look back. Then I wouldn’t be here sweating through my dress shirt as I wade into the crowd.
