Page 35 of Take Me Slowly: part 2
"Then at the first hint of spring, I'll have two meatheads at my door, ready to punch the shit out of me." He grunted at that.
"It might be worth it," I said, half joking. "But there'd be three of them."
He looked over at me again, his brows knitted. "Three?"
"Yeah. I have a thing going with another guy as well."
"Do the first two know about him?" Josiah seemed amused rather than scandalised. Or even surprised.
"Yes, they do," I said. "They all know about each other."
He took a few moments to process that. "You're with all three of them. And you fuck all of them? And they're all okay with this?"
"More than okay," I said. "In fact, they encouraged it. Connor and Riley brought Brooks over with them."
"Brooks? He's new in town?"
"Yes, he's working at the Frosty Brew," I said slowly. "And he's my…stepbrother."
"Okay," Josiah said, equally slowly. "Do they know you're here?"
"I sent them a text when it started snowing," I said. "So, yes. They know I'm here."
He glanced at the door as though they were right outside at this moment, about to break it down to get to me.
"You said they believed me about what happened to Coral." He turned to me again. "Are they also planning to encourage you to fuck me?"
"Not planning on it," I said. "They've already given me their blessing."
His Adam's apple bobbed. "Connor Ferguson and Riley Crane said they were okay if I fuck you?"
"Yes," I said simply. "They want me to get everything I want. They want me to be happy and satisfied."
Josiah scrubbed a hand over his face. "Are they out of their fucking minds? They've hated me most of their lives, why would they want me anywhere near you?"
"Like I said, they only felt what their parents told them to feel." If Jacob Ferguson and Henry Crane were in front of me right now, I'd give them a piece of my mind. "Now they know better."
"They don't even know me." He dropped his hand to the arm of his chair, gripped it like he might fall off.
"I know you," I said. "They trust my judgement." They'd get to know each other. Connor and Josiah were a lot alike. Both grumpy, but pretending to be bigger assholes than they really were. Brooks too, although the chip on his shoulder was different. As for Riley, he was the glue that held the rest of us together. Maybe nail or screw would be a better metaphor. Something more unyielding than glue.
"You don't know me either," Josiah argued. "I don't know you."
"I know you're a good person, deep down," I said. Just because he didn't see it, didn't mean it wasn't true. The same could be said for the other three as well. Possibly even myself.
He snorted in response to that.
"You are," I insisted. "You were dealt a shitty hand, there's no denying that. Maybe I was too. But we can't let the past define everything we do. At some point, we have to let it go and live in the present. We might even be daring and…" I paused for dramatic effect. "Think about the future."
"You're delusional," he told me. "The past is everything. It makes us who we are. The choices we make, the things we say and do. I could have told them I saw her fall in the creek and everything would have been different. I could have gone along with what they said. Do you have any idea how much easier that would have made…everything? I could have told them I looked away for a second and she ran off. I could have told them anything. Made up some bullshit that made me look better. Maybe I should have."
He rubbed his temples with his long fingers. His nails were ragged, but clean. Like he worked with his hands, but took care to wash away the signs of it.
"But you didn't, because that's not who you are," I said. I pushed myself to my feet and moved to kneel on the rug in front of his chair. It was so thick, my knees sank into it. I took a moment to be grateful it wasn't hardwood, but I would have done the same if it was. I needed him to see me and to understand. To really listen. "You were honest."
"I was an idiot," he snapped. "What fucking use was the truth? Who did it help? Not me. Not her. Not you, whether you're her or not."
I placed my hands on his knees. "What use would lying have been? You would have had to live with that lie all these years. Don't tell me that wouldn't have eaten you up?"
