Page 108 of We Shouldn't Be Together
I drop the phone and stand from my chair. Is she serious right now? I’m the one she accused of having an eating disorder. I’m the one she hurt. And she wants to make sure things are good with my brother?
She’s sick!
Why have I spent so much time trying to please her? Everyone else at school can move on from her attacks. Why am I so convinced it’s better by her side than running away from her? Am I addicted to the constant need to support her?
I fling myself onto my bed, ready to sleep away the mess of conflicting emotions imploding in my brain. By the time it’s actually bedtime, I still haven’t texted Kai, and I’m terrified of going back to our awkward non-talking phase. But he hasn’t texted me either, and shouldn’t I take that as a bad sign?
***
When I wake up the next morning, I want to cheer, “Thank God it’s Friday!” But let’s be real. I want Friday to be over because I don’t know what I’m walking into today at school. Maybe it’ll be a competition for who hates me the most?
Thankfully, Camila is distracted by other students harshing her vibe, and I save some defensive energy for chemistry. Walking into today’s lesson, I assume nothing less than monstrous levels of uncomfortable awkwardness. However, my tension is relieved when Kai gives me that mischievous smirk.
“Umm,” I begin. “How was soccer practice yesterday?”
“Good.”
Okay, one word is a start. I wouldn’t call it a good start, but it’s not hostile silence.
I clear my throat and hate the grating sound. “Did it run long?”
“No.” He shifts in his seat. “Maybe a little longer. Ty and I were competing to see how many push-ups we could do.”
“Oh.”
“Then I hung out at Jamie’s café till it closed. They were pretty packed for a Thursday, so I got home late.”
“Ah, I see.” Crystal clear. He’s picked her.
“So,” he drags out the vowel. “That was very brave, what you did.”
I flinch. “Huh?”
“You deflected Camila onto yourself when she was about to let loose on Jamie.”
“It was nothing.”
“No, it was something. You know that.”
“I didn’t want her to get hurt.” I swallow hard and stare into his eyes. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“But you don’t have to throw yourself to the wolves to save her.”
“I wanted to show you I was serious,” I admit. “It hurt when you believed Jamie that I was being mean to her.”
His bottom lip drops, and it takes a few moments before he speaks. “It’s not like there hasn’t been a precedent.”
“I know,” I’m quick to respond. “And I’m not saying you should only believe me. You and Jamie have been buds forever. I just couldn’t stand you thinking I broke our truce.”
A smile brightens his face. “Well, I got it. Loud and clear. I really appreciate what you did.”
“Thanks. I hope Jamie did too.”
“She was more confused than anything. But she wouldn’t let me talk about it with her. She hates looking weak and always tells me to drop it.”
“Oh.” My heart sinks at the thought Jamie can’t see me turning a new leaf. “So, she probably wouldn’t be over the moon at the thought of us hanging out?”
Kai leans against the bench and sighs. “No, not likely. If she found out I carried you home, she’d probably keep a ten-foot pole between us.”
