Page 73 of Fake It Till We Fall
“To Christmas.”
“To Christmas,” I echoed, my eyes lingering on her as we clinked our glasses together.
We settled on the couch, the tree lights reflecting in her hair and our glasses on the table in front of us.
She curled her legs under her and pulled her hair back from her head, using an elastic that seemed to come out of nowhere to tie it back in a thick ponytail. It was then that I saw it.
The ring.
The amethyst caught the light, making it sparkle much brighter than it was. Or maybe it was the fact that it was finally back on Harper’s hand where it belonged that made it shine?
I caught her hand in mine and held it for a moment, unsure what to say. Unsure what it meant. I bent my head and slowly pressed a kiss to her finger. “It looks good.”
She smiled a little and opened and closed her fingers, taking a moment to look at it. “It’s been a while,” she said. “I can’t believe it still fits.”
“Like you never took it off.”
“But I did.” Her smile dipped as she looked up at me. “I can’t believe you…” The words faded away, and her gaze dropped.
I knew what she was thinking about. It was the same moment I replayed in my mind so many times over the years. The secondmy eighteen-year-old mouth had uttered the words that broke both of our hearts. I hadn’t thought I was capable of it. But my love for her was strong enough to do the unthinkable.
“You know why I did it.” It wasn’t a question. I wrapped my fingers around her hand, unwilling to let her pull away again. “A part of you always knew.” Again, it wasn’t a question, but she nodded, confirming what I already knew.
She was quiet for a moment. “Not at first, of course.” Her voice was soft. “I was just so hurt after that night. I needed to get as far away from here and you as I could. I begged Grandma to let me leave early. I couldn’t face being here and seeing you…”
My heart clenched.
“For the first few weeks after I got to Paris, all I did was cry, and then I got mad,” she said. “I was so mad at you, Grayson. I couldn’t understand why you would throw us away so easily.”
It had been anything but easy, but I kept my mouth shut and let her finish.
“Once classes started and I lost myself in the lessons, the anger faded. I started feeling like myself again and then, more like myself than I ever had in my life. I went to cook and create, and at that school I discovered that part of myself.”
It hurt to hear that she’d found herself without me. But wasn’t that what I’d always wanted for her?
“It was only then that I really allowed myself to think about why you’d done it,” she continued. “I didn’t let myself think about it too much because it still hurt.” When she looked up at me, I could see that pain reflected in her eyes. “But yes, part of me always knew that you’d done it for me. So I’d go.”
Maybe I should have been glad to hear her admission. Knowing that she hadn’t spent the last fifteen years hating me for what I’d done to her—to us. Instead, it made me sad.
I lifted her hand and threaded my fingers through hers. “I’m sorry,” I said after a moment. “The last thing I ever wanted to dowas hurt you.” I swallowed hard. “But I’d do it again if it meant you would have the incredible career you’ve had.”
Before she could say anything or refute what I’d just admitted, I cupped her face in both my hands, looked deep into the eyes I’d memorized for my entire life, and kissed her.
When I finally pulled back, just enough to breathe, I whispered against her lips, “Harper, I don’t think I can pretend anymore.”
Her answer was a kiss of her own, fiercer this time as she pulled me down on top of her against the cushions.
Harper
The glow-in-the-dark starson the ceiling of my childhood bedroom blurred overhead as Grayson’s mouth moved over my body.
We’d been here before, in my single bed with stuffed animals on the shelf above us. Trying to be as quiet as we could while we fumbled our way through the feelings we couldn’t quite make sense of.
This was different. And somehow it was different from our night in the lodge, too. It was…more.
So. Much. More.
The knowledge of that both scared me and urged me forward.
