Page 87 of Fake It Till We Fall
After the library,Willa had a few more stops she wanted me to make. Dutifully, I drove her to the grocery store, waited by the curb while she picked up a few items, and then made the short drive across town to the senior center.
The car was quiet except for the crunch of the tires on the snow and the gentle hum of the radio. Willa sat beside me, her shopping bag tucked neatly at her feet, her gloved hands folded in her lap.
We hadn’t spoken much since the library, so it took me off guard when she spoke up. “I see the way you look at her.”
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. “It doesn’t matter,” I muttered. “It wasn’t real.”
I wasn’t sure whether she knew the truth or not, and despite the hurt I was feeling, I felt guilty for the lie we’d told Willa. Andthe bigger lie I’d been telling myself the entire time. Because it had been real for me. Every single second.
“Yes,” Willa said simply. “It was. And before you try to tell me about the stupid arrangement the two of you had to fool me, let me be the one to tell you that I know about it. And I also know that whatever you’re trying to convince yourself of, it was real. Itisreal.”
I sucked in a breath. It shouldn’t surprise me that Willa knew the truth. Harper would have told her after…well, after our very real fight in the plaza. That was, if she hadn’t figured it out already. Not much got past Willa. “Real or not, it still doesn’t matter,” I said after a moment. “She’s leaving.”
“Would that make a difference?”
Her question took me off guard.
“That’s not a fair question.”
“It sure is.” Willa’s voice was firm. “Would it make a difference in how you felt about my granddaughter if she were staying?”
I inhaled slowly. I couldn’t even let myself entertain the thought. I’d already gone over it a thousand ways. In all outcomes, I got hurt.
Again.
“It doesn’t matter, Willa. Because she’s leaving.”
“No.” Her voice was calm but sure. “She’s not.”
I turned my head, certain I’d misheard her. “What?”
“She’s not leaving,” Willa said. “She turned down the job.”
My foot slipped off the gas pedal. It took me a second, but I refocused, sure I hadn’t heard Willa properly. “She turned down the job?”
Next to me, she nodded. “The yacht. The head chef’s job. The Mediterranean. All of it.”
For a moment, I forgot how to breathe. My chest was so tight, it hurt. “But…I thought…I mean, I saw…” I shook my head clear.
“Whatever you think you know, Grayson,” Willa tilted her head and gave me the side eye, “there’s never a time when it’s not worth having the conversation instead of assuming.”
Willa’s words sank deep, bumping up against all the things I hadn’t asked Harper. All the things I’d been too afraid to hear, so I stayed quiet.
My mind worked overtime to make sense of what Willa was saying. Finally, I said, “So she decided she couldn’t leave you again. I know she’s been so worried about you and?—”
“Grayson.” Willa’s voice was firm. “I think you know me well enough to know I would never let my granddaughter make such a major life decision because ofme.And I think you know Harper well enough to know that as much as she might worry about me, that is not why she made this choice.”
Was it for me?
I knew instinctively that even if I played a role in Harper’s decision, there was more to it than that.
Unable to focus on the road, I pulled over and put the car in park, resting my hands on the steering wheel.
“Look at me.”
I turned to see Willa’s smile curving gently, but knowing.
“She’s not staying for me. And she’s not staying for you. I think you already know that.”
