Page 82 of Fake It Till We Fall
The kitchen smelled like roasted garlic and simmering stock, the kind of warm, comforting scent that never failed to anchor me. Kevin was at the stove, coaxing sauce through a sieve with careful precision, while I finished plating the risotto we’d been experimenting with together.
“This is really good, Kevin.” I lifted the spoon to my lips for another taste. “You’ve really got something here.”
“You meanwehave something here.” He joined me at the counter and picked up a spoon of his own. “This was a joint effort, and you know it.” He took a bite. “But damn, you’re right. It’s spot-on.”
We each allowed ourselves another bite before Kevin took the plate out to the dining room for Erin to try. “You know,” he said when he returned, “I did enjoy the collaboration with you today, but I want to make sure you don’t think Ineedthe interference.” He wiped his hands on the towel tied to his apron. “Are you happy with what I’m doing here so far, Harper?”
“Oh, yes.” I set my knife down and looked up at him. “I’m sorry if I gave you any other impression, Kevin. You’ve been great. The way you’ve jumped in and handled things has been amazing. And you are really talented.” I stopped myself just short of gushing, aware that I didn’t want to overdo the praise. Truthfully, he was doing a fantastic job, but I was self-aware enough to see how he might feel a bit micromanaged in the last few days.
“That’s good to hear.” He nodded and smiled at me. “I just wanted to be sure.”
“I know I’ve been around the kitchen a little more in the last few days, but I promise, it has nothing to do with the job you’ve been doing. And everything to do with…” I stopped myself from oversharing. I didn’t expect that my fight with Grayson was a secret, especially considering we’d had it in pretty as much as public a place as possible. But secret or not, I didn’t feel like rehashing anything with Kevin.
Or anyone.
“I’ve just had a few things to work out,” I said instead, letting him fill in the blanks. “And I don’t know about you, but the kitchen has always been a soothing place for me.”
“I get that.” He nodded. “A good kitchen will have that effect, and this is a very good kitchen.”
He was right about that. It was averygood kitchen. I’d spent the last few days immersing myself in the routine of chopping, stirring, and creating, and itwasmaking me feel better. At least until I left my apron behind and returned to the real world. As soon as I stepped beyond the swinging doors, reality—and the pain of everything that came with it—rushed back.
“Truthfully, Kevin, I’ve actually decided that I’ll be staying in town a little bit longer.” I spoke the words in a rush before I could change my mind. “I don’t want you to think that means there won’t be a job here for you. Quite the opposite, really. ButI know I told you that I’d be leaving and you’d have free run of things here.”
“It’s fine.” He laughed and held up his hand. “In fact, I think it’s great that you’re staying.”
“You do?” I tilted my head and examined him closely, but there was no sign of insincerity.
“Really. You being here lifts everyone,” he said. “I’ve really noticed it. The staff, the customers…Willa. You bring a good vibe, Harper. I think it’s great if you’re staying longer.”
I swallowed hard, trying to absorb his easy acceptance when I still hadn’t fully reconciled it for myself. “We’ll see how it goes.”
“You are going to stay?”
I turned to see that Grandma had slipped into the kitchen behind me. Her scarf in her hands, her purse hanging off her arm, she watched me in that quiet, knowing way of hers. The way that always made me feel like she could read every thought I was trying to hide.
“I told you that at Christmas, Grandma.” I walked to her and led her to the chair in the corner by the prep table. “Don’t tell me you forgot?” Alarm bells sounded in my brain. Was she starting to forget on top of everything else?
“I remember.” She swatted me away and set her purse on the table. “I just wasn’t sure if you’d changed your mind after everything that happened.”
I tipped my head and examined her.
“Don’t stay because you think you owe me something, Harper,” she continued. “Stay for yourself, if you stay at all.”
“Why wouldn’t I stay?”
“I think I’m going to go see how Erin liked that risotto,” I heard Kevin say from behind me before slipping out the door, leaving Grandma and me alone.
“Why wouldn’t I stay, Grandma?” I asked her again. My chest tightened around the knot that never seemed to fully go away these days.
Her gaze softened. “I saw the fight in the plaza, Harper. Everyone did. Or they heard about it.”
Heat rose to my cheeks, shame mingling with grief. Of course she’d seen it. I wasn’t surprised. Not really. Only that she hadn’t said anything until now. She’d let me sit with sadness for the last few days while I tried to work it out for myself. “I’m sorry, Grandma. I didn’t mean for that?—”
“Nonsense.” She waved away my apology. “Don’t worry about what people saw. It doesn’t matter. What matters is?—”
“No.” I stopped her. “I’m sorry because I lied to you.” I blew out a heavy breath. It was long past time I confessed the truth. “Grayson and me. It was never real. I convinced him to pretend that we were back together for the holidays. I knew how happy it would make you if you thought that I was…well, it doesn’t matter. It was a stupid idea and I never should have lied to you like that.” I looked into her eyes, but they gave nothing away.
After a moment, she frowned, disappointment threading through the lines of her face. “Why would you do that, Harper?”
