Page 16 of Scoring Zone
“Last call for treatment,” I holler.
“Grayson, we’re going to Skytop tonight. Be there.” Lucky’s statement is more of a demand than a request. “It’s team bonding, and everyone needs to be there. Yes, I’m talking to you, King.” Lucky points at Jamal King. He’s shy but noticeably more comfortable with the team.
I stand by the door, waiting for someone to say they need me. Going out to a bar and having drinks is the last thing I need. Lucky avoided it for his first year of recovery, but now, he’s making it his personal mission for everyone to have fun.
There’s no way I can watch Austin having a great time and not touch him. I’ve imagined myself putting my hands on his hips and showing him how to keep time with the music. And once my hands touch him, my mouth will follow. Then everyone will know. These guys gossip like a bunch of soldiers, swapping stories to get the latest tea. We haven’t talked about whether he wants to come out or not.
Being around Austin and alcohol is not allowed until we talk about what we’re doing. I’m not involving the team. They already joke we’re a couple, and if we break up, they’ll choose sides. He’s their captain. Of course, they’ll choose his side no matter what happens or who’s at fault.
I’m getting so ahead of myself. He never once said he’s interested in me. I have all these fantasies about the way he tastes and how his cock would ruin me for other men. Yet he has not said or done one thing to give a sign that’s what he wants.
Austin was tired when we talked, but he didn’t say he wanted to have sex again.
When the team’s distracted, I slip out of the locker room, pack up, and go home alone.
Austin: Where are you?
Austin: We called a few cars and they’re here
Austin: Not leaving without you
Me: Sorry
Me: Not feeling great
Me: At home. Have fun
Guilt eats at me that I should’ve texted him first. But he’s with his team and doesn’t need me.
Tip-toeing around each other isn’t good for us. Enough is enough. I’ll talk to him as soon as he gets back. He rarely has more than one drink, so he should be sober and awake.
After I’ve showered and changed, Austin’s standing in our living room, pointing the remote at the TV.
“Why are you home?” I cross the room to get a better look at his face. Even with a black eye, he’s absurdly gorgeous. Both women and men flock to him. He has the “it” factor that attracts people. I’ve never been able to bring myself to ask him why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Plenty of beautiful and kind women have shown interest. He’s gone on dates but never more than a few with the same woman. Maybe karma’s the reason I didn’t want to put the idea of him finding his person out into the world so it could become a reality.
He shrugs. “Don’t avoid me.”
I drag him over to sit on the couch. “I’m not avoiding you.” His eyes widen in disbelief. “Not exactly.” I’m unsure how to tell him that our night together plays over and over again in my mind, and I want more. That right now, I imagine crawling into his lap and kissing him until dawn. More than just kiss him.
But none of that comes out. “You need time to figure out what you want.”
“Bullshit.” Austin scowls. “Tell me the real reason.”
“You won’t like it.” If I tell him, it could break our friendship, and if I don’t, it could destroy our trust.
“G, talk to me.” His blue eyes soften with a pleading expression.
I take the remote from him to have something to fiddle with. “I never thought we’d be more than friends. You accepted my sexuality without question or judgment. That meant and means the world to me. You pulled me through the darkest time of my life.” After my career-ending injury, Austin took care of me. He made sure I showered, ate, and he went to all my appointments on top of his schedule in the CHL. Without him, I wouldn’t have had a reason to get out of bed. “Our friendship is the most important thing in my life.”
Our lives are so intertwined; the thought of him not being around is an ache.
“For me too,” he cuts in earnestly.
“I never had a secret crush or wished you were bi because that would complicate things. But now…now things are complicated. You’re not just my friend, you’re the guy who made me come harder than I ever have. You made me want more.” I take a deep breath. “How do I ask for that without risking our friendship?” My heart stops, and my stomach falls to the floor. I hope I didn’t make a huge mistake.
Austin’s silent, but he stares into my eyes. I swear I see heat flare in them before he abruptly stands and starts pacing.
“I’ll do anything for you.” He flexes his fingers. “We’re friends for life. That night in Vegas was incredible, and you didn’t do anything wrong. I made a huge mistake.” He has his back to me, and his words slice me open.
