Page 84 of Merry Mayhem
By the time we’re finished with the lane, Muriel says, “The next one you do by yourself. Park me to the side.”
“Are you sure?”
She points, and I realize there’s no way for me to take her through the Tinsel Tunnel in her cart. I’m going to have to crawl through on hands and knees.
“Okay, but how are you going to get to the next obstacle?”
“I’ve got her,” Mitchell—at least I think it’s Mitchell—says as he and Max run up to the tunnel.
Max has already hit his hands and knees and started through the tunnel, so I simply nod, figuring all’s fair, and follow Max in.
I start on hands and knees, crawling through the curtains of tinsel and trying to avoid putting my hands in whatever the wet, chunky, sticky stuff is that’s spaced throughout the tunnel. I’m tempted to smell or taste it, but I don’t have time.
I also quickly realize that the tunnel gets shorter and shorter, and by the end, I am army crawling on my belly. And unable to completely avoid the wet, sticky stuff that, now that my nose is closer to it, smells like apple cinnamon and is possibly pie filling. Could bea lotworse.
When I emerge, I find that I’m not just behind Max but also Jesse, Beckett, and Thea. And tied with Sam.
Ashley stepped up and pushed Patty from the beginning of the tunnel to the end. She hands Sam a wet wipe and takes off toward the next obstacle.
Thea shoots me an indecipherable look as she grabs the back of Patty’s cart and starts after Ashley.
Our goal is to beat Sam and Ashley, but I suddenly have an inkling that Thea very much wants to beat me and Muriel.
At least me.
The next obstacle again allows Muriel to participate. She instantly grabs a handful of the popcorn in the bowl on the table and starts eating.
But I pause with my hand to my mouth, realizing no one else is chewing.
“Muriel, I don’t think we’re supposed to eat it.”
She stops and looks down the length of the table. “Oh, for fuck sake,” she mutters. “I’ve always hated stringing popcorn.”
But she picks up one end of the thread on the table in front of us and threads a needle onto it while I grab the other end and do the same. We both begin threading popcorn onto our string, alternating with cranberries, as quickly as possible.
But we are now behind Ashley and Sam, and Thea and Patty.
In fact, Thea and Patty have now pulled ahead of everyone. It’s clear that Max and Mitchell have never threaded popcorn before, or even threaded needles before. Muriel grabs one and quickly attaches the thread. Patty threads Max’s.
By the time our string is filled, we’re behind Jesse and Brad, as well as Beckett and Sutton.
I sprint to the next obstacle and find that again, Muriel’s going to have to sit this one out. I look at Max. “You’ve got her?”
He grins. “Sure.”
Mitchell is already halfway up the climbing wall in front of us. Beckett’s already at the top.
The objective here is to climb the wall, get the sack of presents away from the “Grinch” at the top, and climb back down the other side.
Piece of cake. In fact, I pass Brad on my way up. But Thea clears the top when I’ve still got a few feet to go.
“One massage and two pans of pecan rolls,” she is saying to her “Grinch” when I crawl out on top.
“Three pans and two massages,” he counters.
“No way.”
There are ten “Grinches” up here, one for each pair, I assume. They’re, of course, actually townspeople dressed in green furry coats.
