Page 113 of Perfectly Complicated
He not only accepted us, he wanted all of it. The baby chaos, the interrupted sleep, the constant juggling of nap schedules and work and time together.
Aria whimpers, reaching for her teddy bear, clearly as unsettled as I am about Rourke’s disappearance. I hand her the bear to play with while I scroll through pictures on my phone, something to occupy my mind since I’m clearly not getting anything done today. As my thumb swipes through pictures from the Christmas tree farm, I stop on a picture of us in the sleigh. Aria and I are smiling at the camera, but Rourke isn’t even looking at it. He’s smiling at us like we’re his world. And somehow, in that moment, I think we were.
How did I not notice this before?
Tears prick the corners of my eyes as Aria babbles something that strangely sounds likedada.
“No, Daddy is heading to Aspen,” I answer automatically.
“Dada?” she repeats, and when I glance at her, she’s holding her teddy bear—the one Rourke gave her.
That’s when it hits me:She wants Rourke, not Nick.
The man who chose us. Who would be here now, if Nick hadn’t messed up our lives.
And maybe my daughter is finally giving me the answer I’veneeded to hear.
Because sitting here, feeling sorry for myself, isn’t solving anything. Not when I could be out there searching for him.
I glance at the star on the tree, the one Rourke bought for me in Santaville, and I already know what I want. I always knew, actually.Thisis my family. Not because genetics or certificates say so, but because love does.
That’s when I decide to pick up the phone and call Brax.
“Hey, Brax, did you find out anything yet?”
“Sorry, Janie,” Brax says. “I’ve called everyone I can think of. Leo, Jaxon, Coach Jenkins. Nobody knows where Rourke went.”
I bite my nail, a sinking feeling in my chest. “He can’t just disappear. People don’t vanish like that.”
“We’re not giving up, Janie,” Brax says. “Tate’s making some calls, trying to hunt down a few leads.”
I pace the floor, trying to think of any hints he might have dropped. “Does he go anywhere? Places he likes to vacation?”
“No. He usually stays in town.”
I rub my forehead. “Well, if you hear anything from him, call me.”
I end the call, putting on Aria’s coat, even though she hates being bundled up. The temperature has dropped, and if we’re going out, I don’t want her to be cold.
Maybe I’ll drive through town and run into him, but that seems hopeless too. Most of the shops and restaurants are closed on Christmas Eve.
My phone rings again, and I answer before sliding on my coat.
“Hey, Janie. It’s Tate. I might have something.”
My breath catches. “Yeah?”
“You remember that Christmas town you guys went to?” Tate asks. “Santaville?”
“What about it?”
“Rourke mentioned it this week after one of our games. He said a rental company left a message on his phone, but he didn’t say why. It’s a long shot…but do you think he’d go there?”
Santaville.The Christmas festival where we got stuckovernight. It’s far enough away that I wouldn’t find him, but close enough that he could’ve made the drive after the show last night.
“I don’t know,” I say, suddenly feeling some hope. “But it’s worth a try.”
“Wait.” Tate pauses. “You’re not going to make a road trip, are you?”
