Page 44 of Perfectly Complicated
“Mmm-hmm,” I murmur, not wanting to budge as I snuggle into his chest. “You’re almost as comfortable as a bed.”
There’s a low rumble of laughter under his rib cage. “You’ll regret this later.”
“Pretty sure I won’t,” I mumble, curling into him.
“Then you leave me with no choice.” He shifts next to me, and suddenly I’m being lifted, cradled against him as he carries me across the room.
“I can walk…” I protest weakly.
“But you won’t.” He states it like a fact. “You know what you remind me of when you’re sleeping?”
He sets me down gently on the bed. “A sleep-deprived zombie?”
“No, I was going to say…” He tucks the covers around me. “An angel.”
I crack open one eye. “Ha. I’m far from angelic.”
“Then, sleep well, angel,” he whispers, brushing a strand of hair from my cheek before turning away. And for the first time since Nick left, I think maybe I will.
“Hey,” I call after him. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Nah, not yet,” he says casually. “Might read a little before bed.”
He backs away from the bed, then stops and threads his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I should stick to the floor anyway. Sharing a bed with you…” He shakes his head, looking conflicted. “Probably not the best idea.”
I know he’s right. This is safer for my heart. But hearing him say it out loud, after the way I dumped Nick’s affair on him, makes me realize how much I want him to stay.
“Rourke—” I start, but he’s already settling in a chair with a book from his bag.
“Get some sleep,” he says without looking away from the pages. “It’s been a long day.”
He’s doing the right thing. The responsible thing. The thing I’d want him to do if I wasn’t so sleepy and warm.
So why am I disappointed?
At some point, the fire fades and exhaustion wins. I fall asleep, and before I realize it, I’m back in the worst moment of my life—in my kitchen, walking in on Nick and Lia. His hand drops from her waist too quickly when he sees me. They don’t say anything—they don’t need to. The truth is all over their faces.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Janie?” Nick seems startled. “I thought you weren’t coming home yet.”
I was at Scarlett’s house before this. We were picking out nursery decor because Nick didn’t seem interested. Now I know why.
“Are you…” I choke on the words.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” He says it likeI’mthe inconvenience, the one who ruined their secret.
“No,” I whisper.
And that’s when I actually feel it—this searing pain in my chest, like someone’s driven a knife between my ribs. I look down, expecting to see blood, but there’s nothing. Just this invisible wound that hurts worse than any physical injury.
“No!” I shout louder, the pain searing through me.
“Janie.” A worried voice cuts through the nightmare. “Hey, wake up. Come on, angel, wake up.”
My eyes fly open to find a figure leaning over me in the dark. For a moment I don’t know where I am, and I swing out with my hand instinctively.
“Hey.” He catches my wrist easily, but his grip is gentle. “It’s just me.”
