Page 72 of A Cozy Holiday
“Our first kiss,” he cuts in, smirking.
“You guys kissed?” Honey’s head pops up from behind the stair banister like a startled owl, making me drop the book.
“I thought you guys were upstairs,” Jamie says.
“Kiki told me she wanted to be a spy, and I told her she couldn’t sneak down without being noticed. But back to the topic, Dad, you twokissed?” Her ten-year-old face splits into a wide, knowing smile.
“He—he meant hugged. Your dad was helping me get out of a snow patch,” I say, the words tumbling over each other.
“Dad says it isn’t good to lie!” Kiki, who’s apparently been hiding behind the couch, launches herself over the back of it, nearly giving me a heart attack. “Are you guys, like…together?” she asks after she lands in my lap.
For a second, I’m back to being twelve, asking my dad’s first girlfriend the same thing after the divorce. My throat swells.
“Girls, can you help me with the cocoa in the kitchen?” he says. Then he whispers to me, “I’ll talk to them.”
Kiki rolls off the couch and follows her dad, and they wait for Honey to come downstairs before they all go into the kitchen. The problem with Jamie’s house is that it isn’t big. Even though they’re trying to whisper, their voices still thread through the open floor space.
“Dad, it’s okay if you move on. We like Joy.
“She’s so fun.”
My heart clutches.
“Joy has been fun,” Jamie says carefully, “but we can’t get too attached, okay? She’s leaving next week.”
“Nooo!” the girls wail, their voices breaking. “But you kissed her!”
“Adults sometimes kiss people,” Jamie says. “But we aren’t anything serious. You were never supposed to know.”
“But she did our makeup.”
“And what about Princess Jubjub? We have so many more outfits to dress her up in.”
“I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time, Daddy.”
“Girls, please.” I can hear the strain in his words.
Itense, my entire body having a visceral reaction. It’s like breaking through ice on the frozen lake and being sucked under by the current.
“So she’s gonna leave us like Mom did?” It’s in a voice so quiet I don’t know if it was Kiki or Honey who said it. Regardless, it’s a scalpel to my heart.
This was supposed to be a simple job. A quick month to not think about the office or Parker. Instead, there are two little girls crying in the kitchen because I’m leaving. Because I’m abandoning them for the second time in their too-short lives.
Work is in my DNA. I’m not going to give it up. Jamie knows it. Now, the girls know it.
I should just go. Like Jamie said a couple of days ago, my job here is done.
If I leave now, maybe it won’t hurt as much.
Chapter 21
Being Alone in Jersey Would Make Anyone Cry
One Day Heartbroken
The taxito the Portland airport on Christmas night cost a thousand dollars.
I cried for the entire flight.
