Page 46 of Christmas Mafia Prince
I’m at a loss.
I only stop to hyperventilate when I reach one of the many bathrooms in the mansion.
This is so fucked up.
I clench my hands on the sink and face myself in the mirror.
“You are dumb,” I whisper to my reflection, “and gullible. You need to know this if you’re to survive the next few days. Without this self-awareness, you will fall into another liar’s bed. He will fuck you. You will fall in love with him. You will excuse everything he says or does, and then, he might just kill you. Understand?” I poke the mirror with a sob. “Do notfall for his lies.”
I’m so exhausted with my own tirade I slide to the floor in the corner and cry in peace where no one can find me.
I don’t want any of this to be true. I want Damen to be my dark Prince Charming, and sweep me off my feet. I want to be hisbaby boy, loved and protected, taken care of. I was almost ready to trust a man again.
But instead, I had to put my trust in the biggest walking red flag I’ve ever seen. The guy abducted me, for fucks sake, and I conveniently forgot that forla petite mort.
Chapter 17
Damen
Aspenwastheworstfucking choice for Killian’s minder. A kid with little life experience, spoiled to boot, brash, and unable to even get lunch without the help of a professional chef, wasn’t the right person for the job. I thought that as young and brainless, he wouldn’t meddle the way my sister or her husband could. I only meant for him to lead Killian back home.
Whatever confidence I had in that decision originally was gone the moment I saw Aspen ride toward me with the same expression Alexandra’s son had last year when he used a whole bottle of her favorite artisanal perfume on their dog. And when my cousin told me what happened, my jaw kept dropping.
I fucked up.
I really did.
To make matters worse,Corvus, out of all people, was around for Aspen’s confession, and just happened to casually mention Clara, Uncle Roger’s first wife. On finding out about the hunt, she’d tried to run away on horseback, and weeks later her body was found frozen in the woods.
So excuse me for getting twitchy when the app I use to track Kill reveals that he’s back in the stablesaftervisiting our bedroom. He’s probably packed his things and is about to make a run for it.
Over my dead body.
So maybe I should have told him about the hunt in more detail, but this feels like a slight. Couldn’t he have come to me about the matter first? I’ve never been this honest with anybody before, and he throws salt on my raw insides?
I can’t let him leave me over this.
Conflicting emotions—anger, sadness, and guilt—buzz inside me so violently I’m feeling a bit faint by the time I ride into the stables, leaning down to avoid hitting my head on the beams supporting the ceiling. Renoir fidgets under me, but all I care about is the lone figure I see hiding behind a support beam by Bessie’s stall.
“No!” I shout and halt my ride before sliding off right next to Killian, who stumbles against the wooden gate, his eyes wide as if I’m here to drink his blood. I told him what I was. He knows my occupation. Is the hunt really such a big step farther?
“N-no… what?” he asks with that tremble in his voice. I hate that he’s once more afraid of me, but it won’t do him any good riding into a forest on his own either.
“You’re not running from me like this,” I growl and grab him by the shoulders, because something about the jittery way his eyes dart left and right tells me he might bolt. “Years ago, someone tried, and they died in the woods. Would you like to end up like her? You’re mine. Do you understand that?” It slips out. I didn’t mean it to say it out loud. I wanted him to come to me on his own, but I can’t stand the idea that he still thinks he is free to leave me.
He meets my gaze, eyes red like he’s been crying. I want to squeeze every truth out of him. What was he thinking? Why was he crying? Does he hate me for all of this?
“I’m… I’m not trying to run!” he chokes out with a growing scowl.
“No?” I ask, squeezing his arms as the pulsing inside my skull grows in intensity. “Then why are you in the stables?”
“I just met this horse! And you know I can barely ride, so how would I be escaping on horseback?” He squints at me and raises a hand with an apple in it. “I’m trying to make friends with Bessie. Since she’s my only goddamn hope in this house full ofliars!”
I blink, about to glance into the stall when the massive head dives between us to capture the fruit.
“I—what?” I mumble, unsure where I was going with this in the first place. “I didn’t lie…”
“Yes you did! Never once did you mention that you happen to be huntingpeople! What the fuck, Damen? I trusted you, but you don’t trustme. Not with the important shit, you don’t. I guess why would you if I’m also prey tomorrow, huh?” Kill pushes my chest, like a cornered kitten showing claws.
