Page 26 of Love Beyond Repair
He turns disappointed eyes on me. “And you don’t think Ben deserves a bit more respect than this? How many years have you been together?” His voice is quiet, but I can hear the anger. “Or is there something you’re not telling me?” I shake my head.
“No, Dad. I just didn’t want to have the conversation, so I decided to walk away. I’ll talk to him, just not yet.”
He stands and walks back into the kitchen. I can feel his disapproval from here.
My phone has been buzzing all night. Twenty-five missed calls and twelve voicemails. That was the kind of reaction I was hoping for.
I smile to myself. Bloody hell, it worked. Ben obviously found my letter around five o’clock in the afternoon, because at half-past five, my phone started ringing. Frantic messages asking me to call him, begging me to respond so he knew I was alright. I hadn’t told him I was coming here, knowing the unknown would freak him out more.
Hell, I’m such a bitch, but a snarky smile crosses my lips. I love this control. And he doesn’t even realize I have it.
Finally, he gave up and called my dad. He would put this off as long as he could stand to because he wouldn’t want to cause him unnecessary worry. Ben and my dad have become close since Mum died. During that awful time, Ben not only supported me, but my dad as well, helping around the house or taking him to the odd soccer match in an attempt to encourage some normalcy.
Ben turned into the cliché. The son my father never had.
Once they had spoken and he realized I was safe, not wandering aimlessly around the city, the voicemail arrived. He was angry. Actually, fucking raging.
“Kels, what the fuck are you playing at? To up and leave, not even speaking to me. Not even telling me there was an issue?”His voice cracked.“How could you just walk away and leave me a pathetic, half-assed letter as an explanation?”
I stopped listening after that, not wanting to hear him droning on and on about how unfair my behavior was. Maybe I could have handled this better, but at the end of the day, he’s not been fully committed to our relationship recently. If I had felt secure and loved, then I wouldn’t have wanted to leave in the first place.
This is completely his fault. He deserves the anguish.
My phone hasn’t rung for about an hour. It’s eleven o’clock at night. He’s given up. The earlier excitement of him chasing has died away. I sit staring at my silent phone. It’s goading, laughing at me. He obviously doesn’t care that much if he’s given up already.
I switch the bastard off, not wanting to look at it anymore. My dad hasn’t ventured up to see me since Ben spoke to him, so I don’t know what was said. I can only assume he’s not too pleased with my behavior either.
I crawl under my covers and cuddle my pillow. My stomach clenches. I tell myself it’s rage. But it feels suspiciously like regret. I wanted him to chase me. But now I’m scared he’ll stop.
Chapter fourteen
Ben
The apartment feels wrong. Too quiet. Too still. Kelsey’s stuff is gone. Her wardrobe stripped, toothbrush missing, even the stupid aloe vera plant she kept on the windowsill. All she left me was a letter.
A single folded sheet of paper, waiting on the table like a bomb. No angry voicemail. No dramatic goodbye. A few words on paper, and silence to end a decade together.
I keep expecting to hear her footsteps. To find her in the kitchen, giving me the silent treatment. But there’s nothing. Just the hum of the fridge and the sound of my own thoughts.
When I got home from work, the apartment was empty. I assumed I was the first person home. That made a change. Before the Halloween party, the girls would besitting spread out on the sofas when I walked through the door. Their chatter animated, concerning a colleague at work or some celebrity’s new haircut.
After a day in the hospital, I found their endless gossiping comforting. Taking solace in the insignificance of what concerns them is relaxing after the stress of a ward.
On a normal day, they’d all smile, and Kels would go make me a cup of tea. It’s been disconcerting not having my usual homecoming. But it hasn’t been the same these past few weeks; things are awkward.
Bex got home then, skipping through the door with her new, upbeat confidence. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw me. “What’s wrong?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know yet.” It was the only response I could muster.
Picking up the paper from the table, I turned it over in my hands. This was so Kelsey, drama wrapped in perfection. If it had only been the letter, I wouldn’t have been worried. But the fact the keys were beside it made my stomach flip. Slowly, I peeled it open. It was short and sweet.
Dear Ben,
There is a problem with our relationship. You’ve changed.
I can’t stay here and watch you drift away.
So, I must go. I must protect myself.
