Page 39 of Love Beyond Repair
“There’s nothing to worry about, Bex. I know you want to make our relationship public. I know you’re fed up, sneaking around as if we are doing something wrong. I want to make you happy.”
I hang on to every word, waiting for the punch to my gut. It doesn’t come. My heart rate slows when I realize this isn’t the unwelcome news I’ve been dreading.
He takes a deep breath, then continues, “I want to tell everyone, too. I’m so proud to call you mine, but we need to give people time to get used to the idea of us as a couple. I’m loving being with you. I don’t want anyone to ruin it for us.” His eyes beg for my understanding. “So, I was thinking we should tell Amy and Terry first, if they haven’t already worked it out. Then tell our parents.”
Clearly, he’s been planning this little speech, but judging by his face, I don’t think it’s coming across the way he wants it to.
“How do you feel about going away for two weeks? Just us. Somewhere warm, where we can focus on each other and let everyone else get used to the idea. I don’t want to be dragged from pillar to post to justify our relationship.” I stand and walk around to his side of the table, then sit on his lap, holding him tight. Where we are or who sees doesn’t matter; being closer to him is all I care about.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea. A few extra weeks of summer sunshine with you sounds like a great way to end the school holidays before I go back to work. And if it giveseveryone some time to process us as a couple, even better,” I whisper, then kiss his forehead. His arms wrap around my waist, the pressure increasing the longer we sit there. Neither of us wanting to leave the moment.
During our meal, we speak at length about what we should say and who we should tell. I’m not stupid. When Ben and Kelsey broke up, their families and friends were devastated. It was a shock. They were the couple everyone assumed would last forever, childhood sweethearts meant to be together.
Many friends have been working to get them back together this year. To my knowledge, neither has tried to reignite their relationship. I know that the fact Ben continued to live with Amy and me once she left is a problem for Kelsey. I anticipate questions about when our relationship began and if I had a role in theirs ending.
The truth is, I did. Before their relationship ended, Ben caught feelings for me, beyond our previous platonic friendship. It made him question Kelsey and his future. His admission had taken me by surprise after we shared a bottle of wine one evening. I’m not sure he ever meant to tell me; the guilt that flickered over his features as he did suggested he hated himself for having wandering thoughts.
So, even though I didn’t actively have a role in their breakup, my presence didn’t help. He may never have cheated on Kelsey with me, but when we were discussingthe situation, I did end up feeling like the other woman. Like the one who got in the way.
***
Amy’s in the living room in her usual position when not working. For a fitness instructor, she does a lot of lying around. She’s sitting on the sofa in her sweatpants with a large bowl of potato chips between her legs and a bottle of soda on the side table, engrossed in a celebrity dating show.
Ben and I walk in holding hands. She looks up, says hello, and returns to her earlier position. A few seconds pass, then she pauses the TV. Her focus returns to us. She stares at our knotted hands, and her jaw drops open. Well, she didn’t know. Not surprising. Amy skips through life, oblivious to everything around her.
Her gaze moves from our hands to our faces and back again. The cogs in her brain turn slowly as she tries to process what she is looking at. I told her the ball didn’t go well. Explaining away the night, using my social awkwardness I’ve relied on for years. She believed me within seconds, muttering something about I should take a chance once in a while.
“How long?” Her voice is clipped and abrupt. “How long has this been going on?”
“Four months,” I reply. “We wanted to see if this would go anywhere before we told anyone.” She raises an eyebrow suspiciously, holds my gaze for what feels like forever, then shrugs her shoulders. “Well, just don’t have sex in the living room, because that would be gross.”
She fake gags, and we all laugh. I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s too late for that; Ben had me bent over the couch last Thursday while she was at aqua aerobics. She walks over and pulls us into a hug.
“I’m delighted for you both.” She smiles, then turns to Ben. “And I meant what I said months ago. You hurt her, and I’ll cut your balls off.”
Ben visibly wilts. I look between them, confused. That was a conversation I wasn’t privy to, and I have no idea when it happened.
“When did you make that threat?” I ask her.
She reaches for my arm, and her fingers wrap around it firmly. “All you need to know is… he’s been warned. I’m not blind. I knew what was going to happen. You two would’ve been as well wearing flashing neon signs announcing you fancied each other.”
Ben moves behind me, pulls me to him, and lays his chin on my shoulder. He locks eyes with my sister. They’ve known each other for years, but there’s a change between them. Both of them staking their claim, so the other has no doubt about their position on this.
“I adore your sister, Amy.” Warm lips touch my neck. “I promise I’ll look after her. If I don’t, then I’ll hand you the scissors to castrate me yourself.”
My parents, however, are not very communicative. They know my friends and the history of Ben and Kelsey, but never show much interest. I decide the best way to tell them about my new boyfriend is to write a letter. They can digest the information, and I don’t have to deal with the awkwardness of a phone call. It’s a win all round. Once I’m back from our trip, we’ll pop up to see them.
Ben’s parents were not thrilled with the news of our changed relationship status. He took the phone call with his mother in his room, shutting the door firmly behind him. I could hear his voice rising and falling, trying to calm her down
Amy and I stood with our ears up against it, like a pair of kids sneaking gossip. At some point, Terry appeared, leaning casually against the wall with a smirk.
“What’s going on?” he whispered.
“His mum’s freaking out,” Amy hissed back, scowling at him for interrupting.
Terry arched an eyebrow, disappeared, and returned with a bowl of popcorn. “This is better than TV,” he said, throwing himself down on the sofa. Amy and I strained to hear every muffled word.
Ben’s mum loves Kelsey like the daughter she never had. They still go for coffee every week and speak daily. Everytime Ben talks to his mum, she asks him to make amends, telling him Kelsey wants him back. That it’s inevitable they’ll reunite. Why waste time apart? They were so good together, soul mates, she says. Repeatedly.
