Page 61 of Burned By Sin
Clayton freezes in place, his silence heavy enough to fill every corner of the room and leave no air for breathing.
“Yeah, Rhys. I do.” Continuing up the stairs until a door clicks behind him, I’m left alone with the faint trickle of water draining from the basin and my own ragged breathing. I stare at nothing, my eyes unfocused and sunken. I can’t even tell what the hell I’m feeling anymore. Rage, jealousy, regret. Whatever it is, it’s corrosive.
My reflection in the window catches my eye, distorted by the streaks of light. I barely recognize the man staring back. He’s unusually guarded, not a smirk or drop of sarcasm in sight. Dragging a hand through my hair, tugging hard enough to sting, I lean on the counter until my shoulders ache.
The kitchen feels too quiet without Harper’s laughter, without hersoft humming as she moves around, her gentle pretense that soothes my rotten soul. I picture her upstairs, curled in a ball, probably crying drunken tears into Addy’s arms, and my insides twist.
Deep down, I know Clayton’s right. Harper doesn’t need another storm seeping through her life. She needs a safe place to land, and I’ll never be that for her.
Chapter Thirty Five
“Well, no dress will look right if you’re going to frown in every single one,” Addy scolds. I tilt my head at my reflection in the wall of mirrors, trying to force a smile that barely makes it past my lips. It’s hopeless. This is the fourth changing room of an impromptu shopping trip Addy insisted on. Apparently, wearing something I already own to Rhys’ birthday gala is an unforgivable offense.
Yet even with Clay’s encouragement to come and armed with Rhys’ credit card, nothing feels right.Idon’t feel right. Tomorrow night, I’ll have to choose between the two men who’ve claimed pieces of my heart without even realizing it. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I don’t want to lose either one of them.
Rhys has spent the past two weeks doing everything in his power to distract me from my coursework. Anytime I’m not with Clayton in class or at the library, which is now the proud owner of all its books again, Rhys is pulling me into dark rooms or storeroom closets. That’s when he even lets me leave his house at all.
Clay, on the other hand, has been patient and kind. His signing practice is coming along so well, and lately, he and Rhys have managed to eat at least one meal a day together without tearing each other’s throats out.
All of which makes standing here, trapped in this dress with the weight of an impossible decision pressing down on my shoulders, feel unbearable.
“This is stupid,” I huff to Addy. Stepping back into the fitting room, I whip the curtain closed and peel the blood-red satin dress from my body, letting it puddle at my feet. I knew coming to the mall was a bad idea, but Addy swore if I found therightdress, the rest would fall into place. That I would instinctively know what to do when the time comes. Can’t I just bury my head in the sand a little longer?
Tugging on my jeans, sneakers, black crop top, and leather jacket, I peel back the curtain to face my best friend and give her a smug little smirk. That bitch found her perfect dress in the first store, which she insists on twirling around in its bag stuffed with tissue paper.
“How am I supposed to shop for a dress when I don’t even know who my date will be?” I groan. “I need to matchhimsomehow. Whoever he is going to be…Addy, how am I going to do this?” Addy taps a finger against her chin, considering.
“Okay, well, what would you wear for each?” Dropping onto the low sofa beside her, I sigh.
“If it were for Rhys, it’d have to be black, dark red, or gold. Something sleek, expensive-looking, and probably a little too revealing.” My lips curve before I can stop them. “Clay would like something softer. Maybe emerald green to match my eyes, or powder blue like the sky on our first date. He’s more sentimental like that.” Addy throws a hand over her heart in mock swoon. I roll my eyes and shove her lightly.
“Then we buy one of each,” she declares. “You could change halfway through the night and swap dates. I’ll stuff Clay in the bathroom until you give me the signal.” A laugh bursts out of me despite the knot in my chest. That’s Addy, always finding a way to make light of my mess. I kind of hate that she’s so good at it.
Leaving the fitting room, I hand the dress back to the waiting assistant with a small, apologetic smile. Addy loops her arm through mine, tugging me toward the escalators. My eyes ache from staring atsequins, and my head feels like it’s being crushed under the pressure of it all.
“Please, no more shopping,” I beg. “I need coffee.” Addy giggles and steers us toward the mall’s central café area. The space is buzzing, bodies streaming in every direction, conversations overlapping until they blur into a low roar that presses against the sensitive edges of my hearing.
“Do you mind if I tune out?” I say quickly, gesturing toward my ears.
“No problem,” Addy signs back, smiling. Sunlight pours through the domed glass ceiling, glinting off the leaves of the oversized plants that decorate the space. Four levels of glass railings rise above us like a giant atrium. At the center of it all sits a cozy café fenced in by white pickets and dotted with wooden tables. A small oasis for the weary shoppers like me.
I dart for an empty table as soon as one frees up, narrowly beating a pair of students with the same idea. Addy joins the queue, leaving me to sink into my chair and wallow in quiet misery. I hate this. I hate that Phillip Waversea is ruling over me the way he rules over his son, how he’s essentially blackmailing me to put an end to my fun. Just when the boys were starting to find a way to somewhat get along, a deadline was set. Fun’s over, reality is back in full force.
Addy returns, setting a tray in front of me. The smell of coffee instantly eases the tightness in my chest. Between my latte and her smoothie are two triple-chocolate muffins, still warm and gooey. I sign, ‘I love you’before taking a huge bite. It’s rich and molten, and I all but melt into my seat.
“Can I take you as my date instead?”I jokingly sign with one hand, picking off smaller parts of the muffin to seem somewhat dignified. Addy chuckles, her throat and chest working in quick succession.
“You’re definitely my type, but I’ve already accepted another invitation.”I pause mid-bite.
“Who?”I ask with my hand making an L shape by my chin. Addyavoids my gaze, her demeanor changing. I’ve never seen shy Addy before, but the color of her cheeks is beginning to reflect her hair and she’s suddenly far more interested in her smoothie. I snap my fingers at her until she gives in.
“Nikki Oakes.”
“From the cheer squad?!”I crinkle my nose, unable to hide my initial reaction. Usually, I’m never one to judge, but these girls have been blindly bullying me at Klara’s instruction for months. Addy deserves my judgement for fraternizing with the enemy, so I glare at her.Judge, judge, judge.
“Nikki is different. She does cheer because she likes to, not for the attention.” Addy sits up straight, her face unusually serious as she gets all defensive. I raise my hands in defeat.
“Fine, but you can’t say shit about me liking Rhys anymore,”I raise a brow. Addy gives me a deadpan look, her hands moving in a flurry.
