Page 64 of Burned By Sin
The first tear falls from Harper’s beautiful emerald eyes and I catch with my thumb. She leans into my hand, allowing herself a momentbefore shutting off her emotions again. I step in beside her, winding my arm around her waist.
“Clay?” Harper’s voice quivers, her hope and dread rolling into one. I lift my head to watch him closely, threatening with my eyes for him to not fuck this up. We will sort logistics later, I’ll build him a shed in the back yard to live in. Clayton doesn’t look at her at first. His jaw tightens, arms crossing like he’s holding himself together. When he eventually speaks, it’s a low and impassive sound.
“I’ve fallen for you Beautiful, way too hard. I want to be your everything, and in return I’d expect the same.” His onyx black eyes lift, spearing Harper so harshly, I have the urge to step in between them. Keeping my feet rooted to the spot, I let him say his peace. I suppose it’s the least he’s owed.
“This isn’t the future I envisioned when you gave me back the hope of having one. You can’t ask me to take turns and watch him treat you like a piece of meat. I’m sorry, but in the name of making you happy, I’ll be making myself miserable. You can’t ask that of me. I can’t…” Clayton breaks his stance to run a hand through his blond locks. “I wouldn’t be my mother’s son if I settled for that.”
“I understand,” Harper whispers as if she was expecting as much. There’s a slight shake to her shoulders but she forces a bittersweet smile, pushing through the pain that’s written all over her face. “Well, we’re all dressed up. Shall we have one last night to remember?” Harper asks hopefully and naïvely. I can see Clayton’s rejection before he shakes his head side to side.
Harper sucks in a breath and reaches for him, as if she can keep him here by force, but he moves back out of her reach. He has her answer, and it’s not the one he wanted. Turning on his heel, he marches straight out of the door. Just fucking leaves us standing there, resentment and bitterness entwining. Wrapping my arms around Harper’s shuddering frame, I’ve found a new reason to hate Clayton Michaels, and it’s for breaking Harper’s heart.
“We don’t need him. I’ll do whatever it takes, I’ll be enough,” Ipromise without the basis to back it up. All I know is the desperation crawling up my throat, leaving a burning path in its wake. Harper shifts out of my grip, jerking her chin to the pink-haired imp I forgot was standing there. Addy retrieves the bags and carries them outside without looking back. “Please, baby. Don’t do this.”
Harper’s tears are spilling freely now. Two perfect trails cutting through her make-up, cutting directly through my soul. I swear each drop lands somewhere in the hollow space where my heart used to be. I can’t breathe, I can’t think. The only reason I’ve known for living is right here, yet she’s slipping through my fingers.
“It’s not fair for you to only get half of me.” Harper tries to edge closer to the door, but I step into her way.
“Half is fine, I’ll take half,” my voice cracks. “You have to stay. You already belong to me and I think…I think I’m in love with you.” My own brain explodes at the revelation, words I never thought I’d say tumbling out of me. Harper continues to shake her head, my protests falling on deaf ears, no pun intended.
“You don’t know what love is, Rhys,” she says far too softly. “It’s not owning someone, it’s setting them free with the knowledge they will always come back to you.” Her words break her as much as they do me. She wishes the opposite were true, but she won’t lie to me either.
“Show me,” I beg, reaching for her hand but she pulls away. Losing patience, I grab her upper arms and tug her against my chest. “I can learn. Just…just stay and teach me how to love you.” Blinking up, Harper looks at me with such tenderness it guts me. Such misery, that I can read her response without her needing to say a word. She knows I can’t love, that it’s an emotion I’m not capable of. The sympathy that pinches her features is my undoing.
“Don’t fucking pity me.” I snarl, yet I pull her closer. My fingers find her face, thumbs trembling against her skin as I crush my mouth to hers. The kiss isn’t soft. It’s a punishment, a plea and a desperate, broken promise all in one. I kiss her plump lips so savagely, I know they will bruise. This is what I’m good at, all I’m good for. ““You’re notleaving,” I growl against her face, nipping at her jaw. “I won’t let you go.”
Harper gasps against me, her hands pushing weakly at my chest before gripping my shirt, torn between resisting and falling. Finding her sweet lips again, I kiss Harper until her knees buckle and I’m all that’s keeping her upright. I pour everything into our connection, every ounce of regret, every memory, every unspoken apology.
If this is the last time I’ll ever touch her, then she’ll damn well remember it. She’ll rememberme.
Chapter Thirty Seven
I stagger out the door, leaving a trail of shattered pieces of my heart behind with every step. The night air hits my face, cold and harsh, but it’s nothing compared to the ache in my chest. I can’t blame anyone but myself. I made my choice, and I’m sticking to it, but being determined doesn’t ease the pain.
All I wanted when I came to Waversea was a chance to be normal. To feel free. To breathe without the weight of my past pressing against my ribs. But being normal…sucks. It’s cruel and hollow and nothing like the dream I built in my head.
I never should’ve left my converted attic. I should’ve stayed hidden away with my books, my music, my solitude. Because now I have to go back knowing I destroyed the only two people who ever made me feel whole. There won’t be anyone else like them. Therecan’tbe, and my heart won’t forgive me long enough to find out.
Wiping the tears from my cheeks with too much force, smudging the remnants of my makeup, I finally step off the porch. Some part of me was waiting for him to run after me, for Rhys to grab me, beg me to stay, tell me he’d change. One more look in those desperate blue eyes, and I would have folded. But he doesn’t come. He’s probably standingin that same spot, broken in ways he’ll never admit. I meant what I said. He deserves better than half of me, even if it kills me to give him up.
Addy walks quietly beside me, slipping her hand into mine. Her thumb strokes over my knuckles as we walk, forcing a silent show of strength I don’t feel. Addy knows what this costs me, she was the one who’s spent all day trying to talk me out of it. We’ve already cried and said our goodbyes. Now, all that’s left is to walk away. I take one of the bags she’s carrying just to keep busy, to stop myself from turning back.
“You’re really not coming to the party?” she asks softly. I shake my head before she even finishes. The thought of seeing anyone right now, especially Phillip Waversea’s smug grin and Klara’s arrogant smile, makes my stomach twist. I’d either splinter or lash out, and I can’t afford to do either.
“I know I promised I would, but I’m not up to it.” My voice wobbles despite my best effort to stay composed. Addy nods and grips my hand harder. We round the tall building, the click of our heels echoing across the empty parking lot like a countdown. My Audi waits beneath the lamplight, gleaming with the promise of escape like she always is. Considering I didn’t sleep a wink last night, I probably shouldn’t get behind the wheel, but I’ll manage until I find a layby to nap in.
I look around like an idiot, hoping to see them running after me. Hoping for some cinematic miracle, but of course, there’s nothing. I asked too much of them, asked for a dream that couldn’t survive in the real world. Even now, I keep imagining different endings, ones where we all find a way to make it work. Where love didn’t feel like a wound that will never heal. Reality has a way of burning through fantasies.
The keys bite into my palm as I press the button, the headlights blinking twice against the fall of night. Addy pops the trunk to fill with my bags, until her head snaps up suddenly. She hears the approaching footsteps before I do, but I gasp and spin, filled with futile hope.
“Where are you going?” Kenneth’s voice slices through the quiet.Whether from the jerky movement or the crushing disappointment, my heels skid on the asphalt. Kenneth catches me before I fall, his arms surprisingly steady. I didn’t know he had the strength to set me back on my six-inch heels with the ease that he does. Brewing coffee must be a good workout for the arms, and he has been putting in double shifts lately.
Beneath the streetlamp, Kenneth’s orange hair almost glows, his eyes full of shock and confusion. He looks ridiculous in his oversized suit, sleeves hanging over his hands. I’m surprised he was even planning on attending Rhys’ birthday gala. He hates Rhys. The thought causes my chest to squeeze, because now, Rhys hates me just as much.
“I have to go,” I say quietly. Addy shuts the trunk with a thud of finality. Kenneth’s attention shifts to the car, realization creeping over his features.
“Go? Go where?” His eyes glaze over almost instantly, the panic in them reminding me of what a terrible human being I am.
“I can’t stay Kenneth. I’m sorry, I know I’ve been a shitty friend to you. We can message and write. Maybe one day you could come visit?” I offer because it seemed like the right thing to do, even if I would conveniently lose my receivers that week.
