Page 2 of Madison
Mads moves faster than I’ve seen her move and pokes me in the chest, looking all sorts of pissed off. “You call me your woman but don’t do anything beyond that. Shit, you haven’t even discovered that I’m pierced. I have more of a relationship with my BOB than I do with you. You need to figure out if youactuallywant me, or if it’s just the idea that you like more.” What the fuck is she talking about? I follow her back to the table where she was sitting. “What the fuck do you mean by that? Of course I want more. I told you on our first date that I’d wait till you were ready and said something. I thought that’s what you wanted?” Have I been reading her wrong?
She huffs and puts on her sweater over her dress, the one that leaves little to my imagination and has made me hard most of the evening. “I dressed up for you all sexy last month and you kissed my nose and said we couldn’t be late for dinner. I don’t want to have to be the one who initiates things all the time. You’re just like them, thinking I’m broken or about to break. Well, newsflash. I’m not, but I’m about done with being in this fucking limbo you have us in. You need to decide if you’re in or out. If you’re actually attracted to me and want somethin’ physical. I ain’t gonna wait much longer. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but there’s gotta be someone out there who wants me and doesn’t see me as a pathetic, broken person like just about everyone in this room does, apparently.” She starts walking toward the door.
“Where are you going? It’s a long fucking walk back to your place and—” She puts her hand up to stop me. “I’m not walking home. I just need some air away from everyone. Again, I ain’t about to break or anything. You seem to think like them.”
Oh, she has no idea. “I do not think you’re about to break, but I do think you’re scared to be an adult and ask for what you fucking want sometimes. You know how hard it is to love you and want to do more, but get absolutely no fucking communication from you?”
She looks like she’s ready to spit nails, but fuck. After months of being sexually frustrated and dying to move forward, can you fucking blame me? She starts to head toward the door. My mouth opens before I can even think. “So, you’re running away and hiding from shit again. Glad to see we’re actin’ like adults tonight.”
She spins around and pokes me in the fucking chest again.
“Screw you! I’m not running away like some idiot girl who runs from safety into danger just ’cause some guy pissed her off or she misunderstood something. I’ve got more fucking brains than that! I just need a few minutes to my fucking self. I need a minute to breathe since my whole family and mysupposedboyfriend just laid a whole lot of shit on me. Apparently, I’ve got a lot of shit to work on.”
I watch her walk outside.Fuck me. I didn’t mean for all that to spill out. I feel a hand come down on my shoulder. Looking over my shoulder, I see it’s Erik. “Let her have a few minutes. Everyone just piled a lot on her.” I start to say something, but he continues, “I’m not saying that it didn’t need to come out, but she’s a thinker. It’s a lot to realize that people didn’t blame her like she blames herself. Then you add what you just told her, and, well, that’s a lot for anyone to take.”
I run my hands through my hair and look at him. “I didn’t mean for that all to come out. I just… when it comes to her, it’s like I want everything to be perfect, and yet everything I do seems to be wrong.”
He guides me over to the table and sits down with me. “Son, I’m not an expert in good relationships and romance. We all know that. But I know whatnotto do.” He pauses to take a sip of beer. “She doesn’t need or want perfection. She wants what anyone wants. She wants to feel wanted by you. She wants to feel desired by you. She wants to feel like you would choose her over and over again. She’s not the kind of girl who’s looking for the world to be given to her. She wants to feel like she’s your world. She wants to know you want to walk through life with her. She’s the kindof girl who will be more impressed and flattered if you know her coffee order than if you were to buy her some piece of jewelry. She needs someone whoseesher, and not just as the sister of your club brothers. I think you’re a good man, son, and I think you can be that for her. But you have to decide if you want to be that for her, ’cause this limbo you two are in, well, it ain’t good for either of you.”
I want everything with her. I want a life with her. “I want everything with her. She’s the most beautiful woman inside and out. I know people think she’s broken, but I don’t. I know she’s stronger than anyone gives her credit for. I know when she’s lost in her head, she chews on her bottom lip. I know she doesn’t see herself as desirable, but fuck, I know there are guys just hoping she’s available one day.”
Erik looks at me for a moment before speaking. “Your dad would be proud of the man you’ve become. I know Mitch was never one for words, but I know he loved you more than anything. He would probably have said something like, you need to shit or get off the pot.”
I can’t help but chuckle ’cause Dad would’ve definitely said something like that. “Yeah, he would’ve. He wasn’t ever much for words of advice.”
Erik shakes his head. “No, but he was a good man, a father, and a great friend. He had his faults, like all of us, but he loved being your dad.” He did.
I think it’s about time I take his advice and go talk to her. I stand up and head outside to find Mads. It’s time for us to move forward together.
I walk outside to the porch of the barn. I look over toward the cars, but I don’t see her. She said she wasn’t leaving, and even in her anger, she wouldn’t lie. There’s no one sitting in the chairs on the porch area. I don’t think she’d walk over to Jackson, Wyatt, and Anna’s place since it’s on the other side of their property. Dread and worry rumble in my gut.
I call out for her. “Mads? Where you at?” I hear someone come outside behind me, but I don’t look around. Something on the ground by the bushes catches my eye. I walk over and before I even grab it, I realize what it is. I pick it up and confirm it's her phone when I see the picture of her and little Grace as the lock screen picture. She’d never just drop it like that. I look up and see Ry, Nicky, Max, and Jameson standing in front of the barn doors.
Max must catch on the fastest. “Is that Mads’ phone?”
I nod and try to contain my worry. “Yeah. She was mad but said she was only coming outside to take a break and get a few minutes alone. She would never drop her phone like this. Where the fuck is she?” I must yell out the question, ’cause the doors to the barn open and more people stream out, including Erik and Pa.
Pa speaks up first. “Are you guys taking your yellin’ on the road ’cause I caught every word of it inside?”
Ry answers before I can. “No, he just found Mads’ phone on the ground and she’s nowhere around. She said she was just goin’ out for some air, but she’s not here.” Pa looks at me for more.
“I came out to apologize and tell her how much I’m fucking in love with her and she’s not here. Somethin’s not right.”
Erik asks the best question. “Ry, did Logan get their cameras set up last month like he was gonna?”
He nods and runs back inside, yelling, “Logan!”
Erik looks over at me. “Let’s check the cameras before we all go crazy. Maybe she went for a walk around the property to think. I mean—”
I shake my head and interrupt him. “She wouldn’t have dropped her phone like that. That’s not her. She never loses her phone. Shealwaysknows where it is. Says she needs to be able to be reached in case anyone in the family needs her.” Where the fuck is she? Is she okay? Is she hurt? This feeling of fear and worry sits like a boulder in my gut. I don’t care if she’s pissed off at me. I need to see that she’s okay. I keep looking out toward the trucks and cars, as if she’s gonna magically come walking out from between them.
A voice comes out from the barn. Wyatt shares, “Logan’s bringing up all the cameras now if you wanna come see.”
I push past just about everyone to get inside and see the footage. Pa and Erik are shoulder-to-shoulder with me. Pa speaks up as we follow Wyatt over to a table where Logan is with a laptop. “Let’s see what’s on the footage before we get Ma and everyone else involved. No sense borrowing trouble till we know more.” Not able to speak, I just nod in agreement.
I reach Logan and I can tell from his face I ain’t gonna like it. He and Mads have become good friends in the last year, and I know he’ll be worried about her. He looks at the guys behind me and says something that chills me to the bone and scares the shit out of me at the same time. “Lock him down, brothers.” He turns the laptop around to us and hits play. The first thirty seconds or so, Iwatch her pace back and forth, talking to herself. I can hear a bit of what she’s saying, and it guts me. Does she really think I don’t find her desirable? That I’m only with her ’cause of her family? She doesn’t get it. It’s her. It’s her beauty, her heart, and her soul that calls to mine.
I watch her, still in her head and talking to herself, pacing back and forth, when a truck pulls up and parks in front of the line of vehicles that have been parked all evening. I watch as three men wearing ball caps get out and head straight to my girl. I want to scream at the video for her to pay attention. I watch in horror as the biggest man of the three grabs her from behind and covers her mouth so her screams can’t be heard, especially not over the music playing in the barn. I can see them talking to her as they drag her to the back seat of the truck, tossing her inside like a rag doll. The volcano that is trying to erupt inside me has me reaching for the laptop, but strong hands grab both my arms. Jameson is on one side and I can tell it’s Grant on the other.
