Page 24 of Madison
Mick grabs my hand as soon as we’re both off the bike and we walk to the door together. Romona opens the screen door. “Well, it’s my two favorite people. Glad you could come for dinner.” She’s wiping her hands on a kitchen towel and leans in to let Mick kiss her on the cheek. “Hey, Mom. You know we’ll always come for dinner.” I can see the motherly love in her eyes when she looks up at him. “That’s because you’re a good son. Now as that good son, while your gal and I finish getting dinner throwntogether can you change the porch light and the one in the hall? They both went out this week. Can you also go in the attic and get the easels I have up there and bring them down to the sunroom? I’ve been wanting to paint some smaller pieces again.” He squeezes my hand and goes off to do what Romona asked.
She loops her arm around mine. “I’m so happy you two finally figured things out between each other. You bothlookso happy, in a way that can’t be faked. I know you treat my boy well and if he ever does something stupid, which, let’s be honest will happen at some point, well, you just send him to me and I'll give him a talking to.” I can’t help but laugh and nod. “Yes, ma’am.” I follow her into the kitchen, her jeans stained with paint and her silver hair hanging down her back with half of it up in a knot around a pencil. She’s always been my definition of what an artist looks like—flowy clothes, woven bracelets, hair held up by paint brushes or pencils, and almost always a smudge of paint or charcoal on her somewhere. She always seems so free to wear what she wants and doesn’t worry too much about other people’s opinion of her appearance.
“Now, let’s get to work on dinner. Mick has simple tastes, a lot like his dad. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t like flavor, he just likes more home cooking than some of those fancy-schmancy places. Scalloped corn is so easy to whip up, but they think it’s just the greatest thing. You ready to learn?” I nod. “Yeah, I’d like to. Thank you for being willing to share it with me.” She grabs a bowl out of the cupboard and looks over at me. “I love the idea of passing things on to you. I can see you’re it for him, so things like this dish are a bit of his childhood that you can pass on to your kids someday. Now you’re gonna have to just learn by doing‘cause in all my years making it, I always have made it by feel and never had a recipe. That’s how my mom did it and how she taught me. You ready?” I take the spatula she hands me. “Yeah, I can’t wait. I had a feeling this was gonna be one of those recipes that’s really easy but the guys think is complicated. I know you bring it to Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, so it’s gotta be something you can make for a crowd pretty easily ‘cause I know you wouldn’t want to slave over it for hours for guys to just consume it so fast.” She gives me a side hug. “I always knew you were a smart one. Glad I was right.”
We spend the next twenty minutes putting together the scalloped corn, sautéed green beans and a green salad to go with the roasted chicken she already has in the oven. I help her by setting the table and she has a seat, taking a sip of the wine she opened up. I can tell she’s got something she wants to say. I wait and must look at her with a raised eyebrow in question. I swear my face can’t ever hide what I’m thinking. “Have a seat. Dinner’s got a few more minutes.” I sit and pour a half glass of the wine and take a sip. She tilts her head and looks at me. “You know over the last couple of years, I thought we were a lot alike, and I still do. But you’ve got a strength I didn’t realize before. That’s a good thing.” Doesn’t she realize she’s a strong woman herself? “You know, growing up, I always counted you as one of the three strongest women in my life with Ma and Anna.” She shrugs her shoulders. “I’ve been strong ’cause I had to be, not ’cause I naturally am. I thought you were the same, but these last few weeks I’ve seen your strength come out. I think that’s gonna serve you well, ’cause the part I do see that we’re the same can make life more challenging if you let it.” I look at her, like reallylook at her and besides her smile lines that are etched on her face, I see a tinge of loneliness, one I’ve seen in myself. I take a sip of wine and wait for her to continue. “You see, we’re the pleasers. The ones who’s love language is acts of service. That in itself is not a bad thing, but when you’ve got a family like we do, it can make you feel forgotten at times. I think the best way to describe it is… people like us don’t have people. We are the people that people have.” She’s right. That’s exactly how it’s been, especially with my brothers. “How do I make sure I don’t fall into that again?” She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “By being vocal like you’ve been recently. By finding a passion where you’re helping others and not available to them all the time at a moment’s notice. I’m not saying to not be there for them, but if you find something that’s just yours, you won’t be sitting at home and able to rush to help them in the blink of an eye.” I look at her again and the question comes out before I think. “Do you regret a lot in your life, Romona?” She gives me a small smile and shakes her head. “No. Do I wish I’d been strong enough to do a few things I always wanted to do? Yes, but I don’t consider those regrets. How can I regret my life when I had a marriage with a man I loved with all my heart which as a result of that I got my greatest gift ever of my amazing son? Mick is the best thing I ever did and if someone asks me to describe myself, I’m a mom first. I know I’ve done well with my paintings and I love that I’ve been able to make a living at it, but it still doesn’t compare to motherhood.” She gives me a big smile and adds, “Course, I have a feeling being a grandma would be just as amazing.” I feel a hand on my shoulder. “We’re talkin’ about it, Mom. I know you’re gonna be an amazing grandma, thoughmaybe we need a rule about painting…” Romona scoffs at Mick. “I’m gonna do what a grandma’s gotta do. You just work on giving me grandbabies and I’ll worry about the rest. Now go wash up, dinner’s ready. “Yes, ma’am. Mick leans down and kisses my cheek before he goes and washes up. Dinner smells amazing.
CHAPTER 9
Mick
Something’s up with Madison. It’s been a couple of months now since we finally became an us and most of it’s been fucking amazing. Yes I’ve done shit that makes her roll her eyes at me but we haven’t had any major blow ups. Well, correction, we hadn’t until the last couple of days. I asked her the other day if there was salt and pepper on the table because I wanted some on my corn. Apparently I was being overly critical of her cooking, even though it was corn from the local fried chicken place, as innother cooking.
She’s had a couple other little moments, but the last one before I left for church was the biggest and I’ll admit I didn’t help things with the only thing I said. So sue me, I was an ass.
We were at her place and she was telling me about the idea she’s come up with for what she wants to do. I think it’s awesome that she wants to open a sandwich shop and hire people who need a chance to establish a work history. She wants to hire Christy and Mary to start with. She also wants to hire people who’ve aged out of foster care and need a foundation and those who might have been stay at home moms but find themselvesdivorced and needing job experience. I think it’s a great idea and her sandwiches are amazing. The brothers alone will keep her in business.
She was going on and on about not being able to find a place to rent to start and she was on a roll and I was trying to get her attention to tell her I found a place, but when she started crying and wouldn’t let me get a word in, well, shit. I might have said the dumbest thing I’ve ever said. She was going on about the realtor she was working with being a diva and not showing her anything that checked off any of her requirements. She’d said the same thing for the fourth time and I couldn’t help what came out of my mouth. I called her name and then I asked her, “Are you done yet?” I know, I know, you don’t have to yell. I was a fucktard, an idiot. It’s like I channeled Juan or Saxon at that moment. I think my girl might have channeled the exorcist or poltergeist or something, ‘cause when I said that, her head turned so fast I’m surprised she didn’t hurt herself. She told me to get out and go to church and she’d decide when she was ready to see me again but with alotof colorful swear words and tears. I tried to backpedal and at least give her a kiss and tell her I love her. She looked at me and with fucking tears streaming down her face she told me. “I love you but I absolutely do not like you at all right now. Go to church. Stay at your place or the clubhouse tonight.Do notcome back here tonight.” She slammed the front door behind me as I walked out. I think my only saving grace was I texted Shane and Rory and they’re gonna get Jane and Kierstie to go over and bring my girl some take out and bash me some I’m sure.
I don’t know what’s going on with my girl, but I’m honestly a little worried. I don’t mean ‘cause I was a shit and said something stupid, I mean ‘cause she’s not eating a lot and is very quick to cry. I might have to ask Mom or Anna about it.
I pull up to the clubhouse and park. I get off my bike and hear the tell-tell sound and turn to watch five bikes pull up. Samson, Saxon, Shane, Erik and Grant all park. I start walking to go inside, with the guys I’m sure to follow. As soon as I walk in the door, I’m pushed up against the door and an angry Pres is in my face. “Why was my sister crying when I just talked to her? What the fuck did you do?” I can feel someone trying to get in the door, but I’m not exactly in a fucking position to move. “I said something stupid, but she was crying and yelling before I even opened my mouth! I swear!” Jon looks like he’s trying to decide if he believes me. “Son, let him go. You’ve got half the club on the other side of the door trying to get in and you can’t tell me you’ve never said anything to set Jane off.” I don’t think I’ve been that grateful to see Pa in a long time. Jon lets me go and I move away from the door and it instantly opens and a flood of brothers walk in. Saxon bumps my shoulder with his when he walks by “What gives brother? I know you saw us come in right behind you.” I grab a chair at the table where Jon’s still staring daggers at me. “I was hung up for a minute and couldn’t move.” Before Saxon can open his mouth again, Grant grabs him and puts him in a chair. He looks down at him. “I’m gonna just say it now, shut your mouth and just fucking listen.” He looks over at Samson and adds, “Same goes to you.” Samson looks like a teenager who just got scolded. He sits down next to Saxon and glares over at him. Wyatt adds to it. “Just to save myself a fucking headache,Asher and Mayson sit your asses down and be quiet too. Logan you’re usually okay, but you sit down too.” I swear Logan can’t hide the grin on his face to be included as one of Wyatt’s kids. Shit, focus. I’ve got Jon glaring at me still. Juan, Ry, and Rory come sit down too, though they don’t look as angry as Pres. Shane sits next to me, maybe in solidarity or maybe ‘cause next to me, he’s looking like the fucking perfect brother-in-law.
Jon gets everyone’s attention by smacking the table in front of him. “I’m gonna ask you to explain yourself out here ‘cause it ain’t a church matter. Why the fuck was my sister crying when Jane called her? What. Did. You. Do?” I run my hand down my face and then spew everything that’s been going on the last week. When I get to the part when I asked her if she was done, every single guy in the room who’s ever been married or lived with someone groaned. Ry, the fucker spoke up. “You just had no self-preservation at all did you? Fuck. That’s worse than how much Juan puts his foot in his mouth.” I think all the older generation is trying to hide their laughter, well except for Erik and Pa. I can’t help but glare at the fuckers. Erik holds up his hand and gets his fucking laughter under control. “I’m not laughing at you, even though you did say four of the worst words to say to a woman. No, we’re laughing ‘cause I’m guessing you two have been…” He looks at Pa and her brothers before he continues. “...active since you two finally got your shit together?” I nod in affirmation. He looks like I’m supposed to follow along. He sighs and looks at Pa, then back at me. “Son, have her take a fucking pregnancy test. Sounds like she’s riding the wave of hormones that early pregnancy brings.”
Juan, showing his mouth works before his brain speaks up. “We’re all fucking in trouble if that’s true. Kierstie’s almost halfway through and raging with emotions, Jane’s just made it past the first trimester and almost ate me alive today, and now Mads!” Shane’s glaring daggers at Juan and it looks like Rory and Pres are too. I’ve never been thankful for Juan’s foot in mouth syndrome before, but today I’m most grateful. Shane starts to speak but Jon interrupts him. “If you didn’t egg her on or piss her off so much she wouldn’t yell at you like she does. You get her riled up when she’s tired and busy with the boysandbeing pregnant and if you don’t watch that shit she’s gonna start after all of us!” Shane, still looking annoyed adds in, “Kierstie’s been less emotional this time, fucker. She’s just passionate, damn it.”
I quit following their bickering back and forth ‘cause it hits me. She’s probably pregnant. My woman is gonna havemybaby. I’m gonna get to experience everything with her.Holy shit. Wait. I haven’t even given her the ring yet, and I don’t want her to think I’m going to give it to her only because she’s pregnant. How… I’m shaken from my inner freak out by Erik who nudges my elbow. I look over at him. “Two things, son. One, you missed it and everyone is heading into church. Two, I can hear those gears grinding in your head. Let’s go have church and after that we can grab a beer and you can tell me everything that just went through your mind, alright?” I stand up and nod. He pats my back as we walk in. “It’s not like you have to rush home afterward tonight anyway.” Fucker.
Church goes as expected. We have a couple of possibilities for new prospects as Leif is about to be patched in, and that wouldleave us with just David who’s only just starting his prospecting time and he’s got a lot to learn about the world in general. Mayson brought up that one of his cousins has been showing interest which I can tell surprises Wyatt and Jackson. Micah mentions he knows someone who has mentioned an interest in the past. We don’t always need prospects, but it’s nice to have some younger guys interested in joining.
For the first time in a while no one leaves to go home right away, I’m sure partly because all the women are together no doubt plotting my demise. I take a seat at one of the tables, the urge to get my phone out and text or call Madison is almost overwhelming. To think there’s a good chance we’ve made a baby…I just can’t wait to see her pregnant and become the amazing mom I know she’ll be. Shane sits down across from me and hands me a beer. Erik, Grant, Asher, Samson, Saxon and a few other brothers sit either at the bar or around the table. Micah and Jameson go and start a game of pool.
Shane looks at me like he’s studying me. “It’s hitting you a bit now, ain’t it brother? I remember that feeling, and honestly it happened when she got pregnant again.” Ry, the man who can never let a lull in the conversation happen, chimes in. “Yeah but Mick ain’t hiding shit for the first fucking three months of it.” Shane glares and raises an eyebrow at Ry. “Really? You, of all people, want to talk about people hiding relationships?” I don’t see who, but one of the brothers snorts as he tries to muffle his laugh. The way Ry glares, I can tell it’s Asher before Ry opens his mouth. “You snort, but you kept Logan a secret for at least a couple of months too, brother.” Asher instantly stops laughing and glares at Ry. “Because I was going through shit in my head.That had nothing to do with Logan. I remind you to watch your mouth brother when it comes to talking about him, ‘cause I will go out back with you, we ain’t too old for that.” Shane nods in agreement. Ry holds his hands up in surrender. “I wasn’t meaning anything about him or my sister, I was just stating facts. Yes, I know I hid Nicky too, but like you, it came out and I ain’t mad about it.”
Their conversation, although not totally related, has me thinking. I point my beer to Asher and Shane. “How did you two know when it was the perfect time to ask them to marry you?” Both of them scoff, almost laughing at me. Shane takes a sip of his beer and answers. “There’s no perfect time. I had it in my head I was gonna go all out and do the whole twinkly lights, candles and flowers and have it perfect. That didn’t happen at all, but honestly the way it happened was right for us. It was at the doctor’s office and we’d just found out that we were having a girl and I couldn’t imagine waiting a minute longer to ask her and get one step closer to tying her to me forever. It was this overwhelming feeling and I just did it. I don’t remember what exactly I said, hell I had gotten a ring but didn’t even have it with me at the time. Kierstie still says it was the perfect proposal to her.” Asher nods. “Yeah, I didn’t even have a ring picked out or anything. It was after he was shot, and fuck those first couple of days when he hadn’t woken up yet…shit they were some of the hardest days of my life. I knew then that he was never going to get rid of me and that I wanted, no Ineededto tie him to me permanently. It was the second day after he woke up. Everyone had gone home and it was just the two of us. He had been napping and I was in the chair next to his bed, holding his hand.I knew he was going to be alright so I just started talking, you know just whatever was going through my head at the moment, I don’t even remember what I said really, just kinda word vomit. I know at one point I told him he needed to understand after everything that happened I wasn’t going to let him out of my sight for a long time, even showers and going to the bathroom was gonna be questionable. Of course he picked that moment to wake up and said he’d agree to the shower, but a man’s gotta be allowed to shit in private. I don’t know why, but that he could still joke, pick on me and roll his damn eyes at me like he does all the time, that just made it seem like the right moment. It was just the two of us. Just us being real and honest and... fuck, I asked him. Well, I kinda told him how it was gonna go. I know some people love the big grand gestures, and that’s great for them and more power to them, but it just felt right, you know, starting the beginning of our marriage, or the first step toward it, as it is. Just the two of us, no frills. Just honesty, love and some tears. Hell, you can ask him for his side of it when he gets back in here.” Well fuck me. Asher is right.
Leif, who is passing around a second round of beers, speaks up. “Real love isn’t perfect. A proposal doesn’t need to be perfect or fancy. It just needs to be about the moment between you two and her understanding how you want to do life with her for the rest of your days and how much you love her and areinlove with her.” He sets the last beer down and walks back over to the bar. I think he surprised us all with that insight ‘cause it takes a minute for anyone to say anything. Ry looks around. “Well, fuck. When did he become so fucking smart and insightful?” Saxon, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet since before church, asks no onein particular. “Was he speaking ‘cause he’s got someone on his mind he might be thinking that way about?” Max, who just arrived a few minutes ago, answers as he undoes his tie. “I think there might be, but she’s clueless about it so far. If he really is, he’s gonna have to step up and ask her.” Oh now the gossip mill is going to be running and trying to figure out who that could be.
Jeremiah stands up to go play pool. “I ain’t looking to settle down or get serious any fucking time soon. I’m young and gonna have fun in my twenties. Ain’t no woman gonna tie me down for a good long while.” I see Erik roll his eyes at him. Asher looks at him and gets a shit-eating grin on his face. “Bullfrog, I can’t wait till you meet your one and they knock you on your ass. You’re gonna fall so hard and fast that I’m gonna enjoy watching your fall. Speaking as a former player and commitment-phobe, I think we fall faster and harder when it’s the right one.” Jeremiah looks like Asher just grew a second head. “Just ‘cause it happened to you, it ain’t gonna happen to me.” He walks off to the pool table. I think Asher’s right for once. It’s gonna be fun to watch him fall.
Madison
Last night when Jane and Kierstie came over bringing their babies and take out, I thought it would be a full-on bashing Mick night, but I was so wrong. Well, not totally wrong. They did agree that he was an ass for saying the four words that’s guaranteed to piss off any woman. The two of them stormedin and brought food and babies for me to cuddle. As soon as the babies were settled and we had chips and salsa in front of us, Kierstie looked at me, “Okay girl, spill it. What happened?” Jane chimes in, “And don’t leave anything out. We need to get the whole picture to best help you, though I think Jon might be having words with him since he heard you crying on the phone.” So I tell them everything that’s been going on the last few days and everything that happened before I slammed the door in Mick’s face. Halfway through everything, I realize I’m crying again. I don’t know why, but it seems to be my go-to thing lately. Jane interrupted me halfway through today’s events. “Girl. Have you taken a pregnancy test?” I shook my head “No ‘cause I’m on the pill, why would I?” I swear the two of them do this communicating without saying a word thing and Jane gets up and grabs her purse. “I’ll be back in like ten minutes.”
Kierstie then talked to me about all the symptoms she had the first time. Fuck. I guess I could be. She then had to talk me down a mini freakout ‘cause it wasn’t planned and what if Mick ain’t happy about it. She gave me a look that only she can give along with a bit of knowledge that apparently everyone else in the family knewexcept me.“Mick has been so gone for you and ready for a family, that I wouldn’t be surprised if he had super swimmers and knocked you up the first time you two did it. It’s kinda sickeningly sweet how much he loves you and finds you beautiful. I love that he’s that way for you though, sis. You deserve a man who worships you like Pa does Ma and I think-no I know Mick is that man.” Fucking eyes won’t quit running.
Jane got back not even ten minutes later and handed me a bag full of stuff. “There’s like eight pregnancy tests in there. I figureyou can take a couple tonight and if they aren’t clear, you can take some in the morning. I also got you a two liter of ginger ale, Saltines, ginger tea and some chocolate. All of it is stuff you’re gonna want on hand. Go take a test, ‘cause we’re dying to know!” I went and took a test, then I took another one. Okay, I took four before I came out of the bathroom.
I’ve been awake just laying in bed for over an hour. I almost called Mick a few times last night, but decided not to. I needed the night to get my head wrapped around everything. I know I overthink things, and this, of course, is no exception. I hear my phone go off with an incoming text and I reach over to grab it.
Mick: I’ve been awake for a while laying in my bed at the clubhouse. Seems I can’t sleep for shit without you. Can I come over and tell you in person just how sorry I am? Please? I’ll bring breakfast, coffee, whatever you want too.
The man knows the way to my heart, though the thought of coffee doesn’t sit right this morning.
Me: I’m sorry too. I know I’ve been a lot to handle lately. Yes, please come over, I missed you last night. No coffee but I would love some orange juice. If you're stopping at Sooner or Later, a muffin. If you’re stopping at the diner, I’d love a Millie’s scramble with gravy on it and toast… with jam, lots of jam and my hash browns extra crispy. Love you.
Mick: I’ll be there as fast as I can. Love you more.
