Page 88 of Between Secrets and Obsession
“You can’t keep me at arm’s length, then want me all to yourself when it’s convenient for you, Liam. That’s not fair.” Her face softens, and I walk toward her, leaving mere inches between us.
I bring my hand to her face and stroke my thumb over her cheek. “I’m jealous you dressed up for him and not me. I’mjealous he took you on a date and I had to sit here, wondering if you were having a good time and if he was treating you right. I’m jealous I can’t be the one for you, and although you deserve to go out and meet people, I hate it.”
My heart pounds as my chest tightens. I don’t know how to properly explain why I had to do what I did because it’s so goddamn ridiculous.
Maddie stares up at me. Her breaths are uneven as she soaks up every word I say. I don’t consider myself a vulnerable person, but I’m ready to fall to my knees and beg her to believe me.
She swallows and moves her gaze to my lips before meeting my eyes again.
“Imagine watching the one person you were willing to give everything to flaunt their one-night stands and bang everyone else without care for years—everyoneexceptyou. Imagine how that feels and then tell me how you have any right to say you were jealous—as if I’m supposed to feel bad for you. Well, I don’t.”
Every word Maddie says shatters my heart because she’s right. My arm drops, and a frown paints across her lips when I don’t respond.
She looks at me, every bit the temptation, and I wish I could spill my secrets.
For all these years, I’ve held back, drowning myself in meaningless hookups, and denied my attraction. I’ve wanted Maddie for as long as I can remember but haven’t allowed myself to act on it, other than a few stolen kisses. It’s been fucking torture. Now my bad habits and past have caught up with me, and it’s confirmation that I’m not the man for her.
But fuck do I want to be.
Leaning in, I cup her face and rest my forehead against hers. I close my eyes and inhale her deliciously sweet smell.
“I imagine it was painful,” I say softly. “Like a dagger piercing your heart, crippling your ability to breathe. The pain so strong it hinders every thought, but still, you give in to the urge to be around that person. The thought of them encapsulates every free minute of your life, and you can’t stop imagining what they taste like or what they’re doing when you’re apart. The agony is so unbearable at times that you hate yourself for not being strong enough to walk away.”
“Liam…” she whispers softly, her fingers wrap around my wrists like a vise-grip, holding me in place.
“I know, Mads,” I say breathily when she doesn’t speak. “I won’t be selfish anymore.”
“Wait,” she blurts when I attempt to drop my arms. “One more time.”
“What?” I ask, leaning back slightly to meet her gaze, trying to understand her words.
“I want you to be selfish one more time…”
My breathing stops as I study her, wondering if she’s messing with me for hurting her so much. “Why?”
She straightens her back and licks her lips. “Because I want to be selfish, too.”
I blink, waiting for her to say she’s kidding, but when she doesn’t, I close the gap and bring our mouths together.
Hot.
Hungry.
Desperate.
I slide my tongue between her soft lips, and when she releases a desperate moan, I bring my hands to her ass and lift her. Maddie wraps her legs around me, and my hard cock presses into her stomach as I carry us to the bed and lay her down in the middle.
Her hands are in my hair as our hips rock together, and I devour her mouth like it’s my last meal on death row. I don’tknow if this is our goodbye for real this time, but this kiss will permanently ruin me for any future ones.
As I feather kisses down her jaw, she digs her heels into my ass and scrapes her nails down my arms. “Maddie…stop doing that,” I demand, moving to her neck and sucking hard.
“I don’t want to,” she responds, tilting her head and giving me more access.
Our bodies grind together, and every inch of me burns for her. I want to give in to my apprehension and take her the way she’s always wanted, but it’d only complicate things more.
“We can’t, Mads,” I whisper and pull her earlobe between my teeth. “But don’t think I haven’t fucking thought about it a million times.”
“Why? Because youloveher?”
