Page 109 of Lorcan
“My first year of counseling patients.” I swallowed. “There was an undergrad. First year. She was away from home and missing everyone.”
“Okay.”
“Now, I wasn’t on my own while doing the counseling. I had a supervisor. A great woman whose competence I never questioned.”
“Sure.” He pressed a hand to my sternum.
His strength helped me to continue. “In the final session before Christmas break, Selene seemed…off.”
“Selene…?”
“Oh, the patient.”
“Got it.” His eyes were nearly black in the low light—but he held my gaze.
This is almost more than I can bear. But he needs to know.“I spoke to my supervisor after the meeting. Our normal debrief.I said I was concerned.” I swallowed. “She said she hadn’t seen anything unusual, and that students were often antsy around the holidays.” I shrugged. “So I took my exam the next morning and didn’t think anything of what I’d seen.”
“Ah.”
He knows. That this isn’t going to end well.
“My supervisor met me at the door of the exam room. I knew. I just…knew.”
“Oh baby.”
NotDaddy. He understood now wasn’t the time for that.
“She’d killed herself in her dorm room. She’d even left a note.” I swallowed yet again. “Turns out she’d been molested for years. She said she was missing everyone from home—but that hadn’t been true. In the end, she couldn’t’ bear the idea of facing her molester. She believed herself stronger but, in the end, couldn’t do it.” I blinked. “If I’d known—” I sighed.
“What could you have done?”
“I would’ve worked with my supervisor—either to sort things out or, more likely, to refer her to a more-experienced counselor. Maybe even one of the psychologists on staff. I wasn’t so arrogant that, I believe, I would’ve realized I was in over my head.”
He stroked my sternum. Rhythmically. Soothingly.
“What did Kennedy say?”
Oh Jesus, he knows me so well.“That she knew of another therapist who’d gone through that. That these things happened—even to the best of us. That Selene had gone out of her way, in the suicide note, to say that everyone had been so kind and that, although she felt guilty, she couldn’t put off what she knew she had to do.”
A tear trickled down my cheek.
“And you’ve been holding this in?”
I nodded. “It’s in the back of my mind when I see patients. Are they suicidal? Am I missing something?”
“So you’re more vigilant.” A statement…not a question.
“Yes.”
“You’re a good man, Cody. Better than anyone I’ve ever met.”
I wanted to point out he’d met Justin—but now wasn’t the time. “I just thought you should know.”
“I’ll always want to know—whatever you can share. You need to know you can trust me. Always.”
I stroked his cheek. “Thank you. I think this is the best present ever.”
Lorcan offered a shy smile. “You haven’t tried the pumpkin spice. I had a cookie made with it. Divine heaven.”
