Page 79 of Lorcan
Night came early this time of year, so I hadn’t seen the volcano again from his window. But Mount Baker was out there. On the horizon. Miles and miles away, a vision of freedom.
“What are you thinking?” Cody stood at the doorway, leaning against the jamb.
I tried to smile.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He advanced toward me. “You’ve had a long day. We can play another time.”
Even as I shook my head, I sniffed.
He knelt on the bed before me and took my paws. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I think I love you.”Great. Just blurt it out. After two weeks. Real classy.
Slowly, he nodded. “And that worries you. Because I haven’t said anything. Because this all feels really fast. Because we haven’t talked about the future.”
“And I just started therapy. Stephen’s dead and I don’t know what that means. I mean, he’s dead and I don’t care—I shouldn’t care.” I’d bottled all of that up inside me and I’d look at it someday, but there was no grief in the mix. He would never stand trial. I would never be able to confront him. True resolution might not even be possible. ”But I don’t know what the implications are. Thank God we’re divorced. I don’t have to go to Mexico and deal with…” I gestured.
“His crap?”
I nodded.
“Okay. So Stephen’s not the issue holding you back.”
I shook my head.
“You’re comfortable going to therapy with Justin?”
Again, I nodded.
He squeezed my paw. “How would you feel if I asked you to move in? If I said that I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life?”
“I’d say you were nuts.”
“Right?” He laughed. “I’d counsel my patients against making rash moves. About taking things slowly—and being deliberate. Except that’s not what my heart is telling me. My soul has met its mate, and I don’t want to wait. To take things slowly. I wantto hold your hand through whatever shit is going to happen—because neither of us is naïve enough to believe there won’t be blowback from your scummy ex’s death.” He winced. “That’s not nice of me.”
“Fuck him. He doesn’t deserve nice from someone as great as you.”
“You’ll consider staying here? Giving up your place? Taking a chance with a kid who barely knows anything?” He batted his eyelashes.
“It can’t possibly be this easy.”
“Well, perhaps not.” He let out a breath. “I think we should talk to Justin about this. Either together or separately.”
I squeezed his hands with my paws. “Together. I want him to be honest with me. And my rent’s paid until the new year. So we’ve got time to figure this out.”
“Do you need to give notice?”
“Two weeks. But they’ve got a list of people looking for a place. They won’t have a problem finding someone.”
“Still, notice is considerate. We have something even more important to discuss.”
Don’t panic.“Oh?”
“Yes. Aunt Genessa is joining us for Christmas dinner. I was going to wait to share that news with you…seeing as we’ve barely been together any time at all, and meeting the parents is—”
“I can’t wait to meet her. I’m certain she’s a wonderful woman. She helped raise you, after all.” I held his gaze. “Can we lie down? My knees are killing me.” Not that I wanted to admit the frailty—but I had to be able to work tomorrow. And I had to tell Riley about being questioned—if she hadn’t already heard.
“Oh sweetheart, of course we can lie down.” He caressed my cheek. “I want to hold you.”
