Page 27 of The Rake and the Muse
“I would like to open an art gallery, one that will also feature women’s art. The galleries in town aren’t as accepting of art that is done by women, particularly one from theton, and I wish to change that. I want to display the talent of all.” She was so excited to share her dream with Theo. With him at her side, it was sure to be a success.
“Jules, you can’t be serious.” Unfortunately, there wasn’t a smile to be found on his handsome visage.
She leaned back slightly to assess his reaction. “I assure you, I am quite serious. It has been a dream of mine.”
“We are titled. You will be the Marchioness of Camden. We will need to tend to the estates and see to our tenants’ livelihoods. Involvement in such a scandalous endeavor would put our standing in society at risk.”
“This from the man who frequently appeared in scandal sheets for his libertine lifestyle? Was that also for the benefit of your tenants?” She knew it was a low blow, but she questioned if she even knew the man. She had never expected him to react to her dream in that way.
He released a low growl, and she realized she had never seen him angry before. “Jules, that isn’t fair, and you know it. They are not the same things.”
“Because thetonwill turn their head for a man who pursues whatever or whomever he wishes, while awoman is an outcast if she wishes to pursue anything besides pleasing her husband, bearing his children, and running his household.” That was exactly why she had resigned herself never to take a husband. She should have known that no man—not even Theo—would support her dreams.
“I support your art, Jules. I would never want you to quit painting and doing things you love.”
“As long as I do so in a way that doesn’t jeopardize your place in society, is that correct?”
He ran his hand down his face. “We have responsibilities. We need our position in society to ensure that we maintain the profits for our estates and ensure our future for generations to come. Surely you can understand that? And besides, running a gallery in town would be a lot of work. We would need time to be at our country home.”
“You don’t think I understand how business works? You believe I am incapable of hiring staff and overseeing the management of such an endeavor?” He was playing every bit the part of the pompous man who believed he knew best, and she didn’t care for it one bit.
“Jules, sweetheart, I never said that. But can’t you see reason? This plan is nonsense.”
She rose from her seat. “What is nonsense is my thinking that I could marry you.”
He jumped up to face her. “You don’t mean that.”
“I can’t marry you, Theo.” Tears formed in her eyes. It would break her heart to lose him, but if he asked her to sacrifice her dreams, he wasn’t who she thought he was.
“Why? Do you no longer love me now, just like that?” The hurt in his cracked voice almost broke her resolve.
She closed her eyes and drew a breath for strength before answering him. “Of course I love you. I probably always will. But you believe my dreams are nonsense, and I can’t marry a man who wouldn’t stand by me, regardless of what it might make other lords think of him for doing so.”
“Jules, please don’t do this,” he pleaded, reaching for her hand, but she pulled it away. “Juliet, I love you.”
“You love who you wish for me to be. But my mind is made up,” she replied. “I wish you the best, my lord.”
She hurried away, leaving him alone in the gazebo. She moved as quickly as she could, not wanting him to catch her and pull her into his arms. Juliet wasn’t certain she would be strong enough to walk away from him if he did so.
Juliet fought the tears that were quickly blocking her vision. Once inside the house, she hurried up the stairs and into her chamber. She locked the door behind her, just in case the man followed her. She threw herself onto her bed and her body shook from the sobs that finally broke free. The pillow, which smelled like Theo fromwhere he slept on it the night before, quickly became soaked with her tears.
After several minutes of crying, she calmed down and urged herself to sit up. Wiping her eyes, she drew in several deep breaths. With her heart broken into a million pieces, which would likely never mend, she rose and went to her easel. She pulled the drawing of the woman that Theo had done from its hiding place and started back to work at finishing it. She only hoped she might find some kind of joy, even if only slightly, with her paintbrush in hand. It was all she had left.
Chapter 11
Theo paced the gazebo. What in the hell had just happened? How could she abandon him and break his heart as if it were nothing? She said she loved him, but she walked away. He kicked a pebble. How had they gone from blissfully happy to agonizingly miserable in a matter of a few minutes? Wasn’t finding love supposed to be a joyous, wonderful occasion? Didn’t love conquer all or some shite? If heartbreak and misery were what he could expect, he wasn’t certain he wished for any of it.
He left the gazebo and started back towards the house. Once he was back inside, he went to the salon, hoping he might find a tumbler of brandy. At least, in that regard, luck was on his side. He poured a glass and immediatelydrained all of it. Theo poured another and swirled it a few times before downing all the liquid again.
“You do realize it isn’t even noon yet, my lord.”
Theo spun around. “Lady Lily, shouldn’t you be off with Lord Knox somewhere?” He wasn’t in the mood for mindless chatter.
“He is supposed to meet me shortly. But you seem to be in a state.”
He turned back to the sideboard and refilled his glass, then waved his hand as he spoke. “If rejected, miserable, or crushed are considered a ‘state’, then you are correct.”
“Lady Juliet, I assume?”
