Page 20 of The Duke and the Widow
She squeezed his arm tighter. “You have prepared them well. Far better than most brothers would.”
“I will ensure they both attend university as I never did. Although, I suppose I have fared all right. My estates have prospered since I took up handling all our family business matters at eight-and-ten.”
“Ry didn’t attend university either,” she said, glancing down at her feet as they continued strolling through another market. James wasn’t certain he had glanced at a single costermonger since he had been so focused on their conversation.
“Why not?” James asked.
She drew a deep breath and released it. “Because we didn’t wish to wait to marry. He was nine-and-ten, and I was a year younger.”
James patted her hand, finding that he wished to know more about the man Rosina had loved. He found he wanted to know everything about her and her past. In that moment, he was almost certain that even though they had agreed that things between them would never progress beyond physical attraction, he felt something deeper for her. Without a hint of jealousy in his tone because there wasn’t any, only a desire to know and understand her better, he asked, “Will you tell me about him?”
Chapter 8
RosinagaspedatJames’question. He seemed genuinely interested in knowing about Ry, even though she rarely spoke of him in that way to others. But after all he had shared with her and the pain he had endured from grieving his parents and supporting his brothers, she wanted to share that part of herself with him, even if she wasn’t certain she should.
“What do you wish to know?”
“How did you meet?” He glanced at her for a moment before they turned a corner to walk down another street.
“Ry, Ryan, was my older brother’s best friend. He lived a couple of estates away from us and I used to tag along with them everywhere they went. I was the annoying girl who wouldn’t leave them alone, and then we became much more to each other.”
“He must have loved you very much to forgo university and marry you so young.”
She smiled, recalling the memory of the first time Ry had told her he loved her. “He did. We were…intimate before our marriage and had always intended to wed.” She jerked her chin towards James, worried she might have overshared and would see a sour expression on his face, but all she saw was contemplation. It did something to her insides, and she did her best to control her breathing.
“What happened to him?” James asked softly.
“He developed an illness that made him quite sick. It started out with fainting spells, nausea, and pain in his stomach. It progressed over several months until he succumbed to the illness. The doctors said there was no cure for what he had.” It was the first time she had spoken of Ry’s illness without bursting into tears. After hearing what James went through with his parents, she believed if anyone might understand the pain of watching someone you love slip away right in front of you, it was him.
James turned his chin to catch her gaze. “I’m very sorry you lost him, Rosina.”
Tears formed at the corners of her eyes from the sincerity in his tone. There was much more to the man at her side than she had realized before. He’d had her in every position imaginable, speaking wicked words the night before, and then could genuinely offer remorse for her losing her first love. No. Just her love.Firstwould indicate she might have another.
“Thank you, James,” she whispered, hoping no one was near enough to hear her refer to a duke by his given name. “I’m sorry you lost your parents and all you had planned for your future.”
“I can’t dwell on the past. I can only think about the future and be the man my brothers need me to be to guide them.”
She thought about how they came to be in each other’s sphere and how the duke had been a virgin before he pursued her.
“Is that why you never…before we…?” she asked, her voice trailing off.
He nodded. “I have been present for my brothers every day until they left for school. I was there for every meal and every report from their tutors. I worked with our estate managers and cared for my brothers. Once the incident occurred, I knew I must set an example for them,” he said before glancing at her again and smirking. “At least for as long as I could.”
“I don’t believe your brothers shall be made aware of your lost virtue, Your Grace,” she teased. “At least not from me.”
“Who knows what mischievous things they have learnt from the other boys at school,” he said, releasing a deep sigh. “I just wish I might hear something soon.”
“You will make an amazing father one day,” she said, but then regretted it as soon as she said it. Why was she thinking of the man as a father? The thought of him settling down and marrying another faceless lady gnawed at her more than she cared to admit.
He stopped and faced her. “Do you think I might make a passable husband one day as well?”
Yes, very much. “I suppose your wife shall be satisfied, Your Grace,” she teased him. The woman he married would be more than satisfied, indeed, and she didn’t care to imagine such an ending, since it would never be her. She didn’t even wish for it to be her. Rosina knew she had already given her heart to Ry, and she couldn’t stomach the idea of giving her heart another or again going through the pain she had with Ry.
James stared at her, tilting his head so that he gazed at her lips. “That’s good to know, my lady,” he whispered.
As much as her mind told her to back away, her body betrayed her and swayed closer to him. Licking her bottom lip, she tilted her chin up, pushing aside the thoughts of warning that told her to back away.
A carriage passed by, and Rosina quickly stepped back, remembering they were standing in the middle of a village street. It wouldn’t do for anyone to have caught them as they were. It was one thing to suspect they may have an arrangement. It was another matter entirely if anyone were to witness and confirm the notion.
