Page 22 of The Duke and the Widow
“But it could be. Do you mean to tell me you don’t sense what has been growing between us?”
She sensed it, but she didn’t wish to admit it. “James,” she whispered, a pained edge to her tone.
“Rose, please,” he said.
Her eyes flung open, and she scrambled from the bed. “Never call me that,” she ground out, wrapping her arms around herself. As much as she willed them away, tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean…I don’t understand…”
“Just go,” she said, giving him her back. “Go now.” Her shoulders shook as she fought the sobs.
“Rosina,” he said from behind her. “I care about you. I know I promised I wouldn’t—”
She couldn’t hear anymore. “Please leave. I don’t wish to speak to you.”
“But—” he started before she cut him off.
“Your Grace, I have asked you to leave.” Her words came out between sobs. She couldn’t bear to face him or see what reaction he had to her outburst. Her shoulders shook, and she fought to calm herself.
She heard the fumbling of clothing, and several moments later, the door opened and closed. Rosina glanced over her shoulder to confirm he had left and then threw herself on the bed, muffling her guttural sobs into her pillow.
Allowing herself to have feelings for James, let alone loving him, would be a betrayal to Ry, no matter what Ry had said. She couldn’t have feelings for the man. Rosina shook and hugged the pillow tighter. She feared she already had allowed the duke in more than she should have, and the only thing she could do was push aside anything she might feel…forever.
Chapter 9
Rosinacouldn’tbeartoface James over breakfast after how she reacted to him, so she had Molly request a tray to be brought to her chamber. It was the coward’s way out, but she wasn’t ready to see him so soon after she had kicked him out of her chamber as he was almost certainly going to express something beyond what their arrangement was supposed to be.
She had cried for a couple hours as the guilt racked her entire body. She could allow herself to admit that she had enjoyed waking up to a man in her bed. No, not just a man, but James. When he called her “Rose” just as Ry used to do, all she could think about was how she had loved Ry with everything she had, and she didn’t wish to betray his memory.
And even if she could get past that, her love hadn’t been enough to keep him well and with her. She wasn’t certain she would survive such a devastating loss again.
Picking at her food, she stared at the plate, feeling more numb than she had in months.
“Are you ready to admit that you have a tendre for the duke?” Molly asked, her tone forceful but caring as she cut into Rosina’s thoughts, startling her.
Rosina sighed and her shoulders slumped further. “I believe I shall lie down for a while.” She only hoped that Molly would drop the matter as she didn’t care at all to speak about it.
Still donning her robe and night rail, she climbed back into her bed and hugged a pillow close to her. The same pillow James had slept on, and the sandalwood scent engulfed her senses, preventing any chance of pushing him from her thoughts.
Ry had said he wanted her to move on and live a full life, but how could she have a full life without him? Was that even possible? Then there was still the very real risk that something could happen to James. Sickness, highwaymen, carriage accidents…any number of things could happen, and her heart wouldn’t be able to bear it.
She wasn’t certain if she had fallen asleep or not in the time she spent lying in the bed imagining how she would leave the house party and return her life to what it was before she met James. But after some time had passed, she opened her eyes and knew she couldn’t lie in bed any longer. There was no way she could hide away in her chamber for the rest of the house party, so she might as well join the others and get the uncomfortable moment with James over with.
Climbing from her bed, she rang for Molly to help her dress. She spotted the dress Molly had left prepared from earlier that morning and removed her robe, dropping it into the nearby chair. After pulling her night rail over her head, she donned a white chemise that was laid by the dress.
Molly came storming into the room without a knock. “You won’t believe it, my lady. There has been a fire.”
“What? What can you mean?”
“The stables,” Molly said, catching her breath. “They went up in flames.”
“Was anyone injured?”
Molly moved across the room to where the dress lay waiting. “I’m not certain. I heard a couple of gentlemen ran into the building.”
Panic gripped Rosina’s heart. “Who?” she demanded. “Which gentlemen?”
“I wasn’t told, my lady.”
